Lessons in Gratitude Day 535

I am grateful today for something simple: productivity. There have been many times over the course of the year when I have written about being productive, about accomplishing tasks, about getting stuff done–sometimes from the perspective of feeling good about being productive and others times feeling frustrated at not having accomplished anything. Over the past few days I’ve felt a bit sluggish and was not scoring high on the “get stuff done” o’meter. “It’s vacation,” my friend reminded me, and while it’s true that I am on “holiday break” from work, I still feel like I need to be getting something done.

So today started out a little on the sluggish side, as it has recently. “Uh oh,” I thought to myself and wondered if I was going to sink into a slow-motion kind of funk in which I spent the day watching football, playing solitaire on my computer and accomplishing nothing. Instead, a funny thing happened on the way to the sofa: I passed it up, and instead in an uncharacteristic burst of energy, did some decluttering work in my bedroom where, yes, I still had a couple of half-unpacked boxes (shhhh, don’t tell my older sister. She hates boxes.) I did laundry, changed linens on my bed, and cooked a lovely chicken stew from a leftover roast chicken. I’ll be eating that over the next few days. I also did manage to watch a little football and relax in between cleaning activities. From a productivity perspective it has been a remarkably good day.

I am grateful for this sense of accomplishment in part because it could have easily gone the other way. There have been times when I could feel myself getting into a low-energy funk. Sometimes I would let myself get all the way down into it and splash around in it cranky and immobilized until I snapped myself out of it. Other times, when I could feel it coming on, I would push myself to get up and out of the house or I would put on music, dance around the house while doing work I needed to get done. This was particularly true in those weeks when I had to pack up my house to move. No matter how cranky I got during those days, I kept moving, kept working, pushing myself to keep going. The main difference then was that I had to keep working: I had a very quick deadline that was driving me. Today and throughout this holiday break, I haven’t had the external pressure pushing me to get something done. That’s what makes today’s level of productivity something I’m really pleased about.

I’m also grateful because I was to remain in a positive frame of mind throughout the day. Anyone who’s suffered from depression can tell you that sometimes you have a moment, a brief window in which you either arrest the sour mood before it develops or you can fall into it. I hit that window a few times over the course of this weekend and at least once today. And I was able to prevail and stay upbeat, managing to have a productive day in the process. I do not take these types of days for granted. I am not too far removed from times when I would lose hours of my life to sadness and depression. Slowly, over the course of weeks and months of taking intentional actions (including beginning to write this blog), I reclaimed my life and learned to stand strong in the midst of the challenges I faced. Though much of those difficulties have eased, I intend to retain and continue applying the lessons I learned back then. Gratitude remains central to my ongoing process.

I am glad to have had a solid, productive day. I celebrate it, but will not pressure myself to repeat this day tomorrow. I will let tomorrow take care of itself. For tonight, I will take my rest knowing that I did my best to make this a good day. And for that, I am grateful.

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