Earlier this evening I had the kernel of a thought I wanted to explore tonight. After a 92-minute commute home–which would have been completely horrible if my son hadn’t been talking to me on the phone the entire time–I am not sure I will be as articulate as I want to be but I’ll do my best.
I believe there’s a balance between being grateful for the blessings that you have in your life and having low expectations. Here’s what I mean. I am grateful for so many things in my life: my relatively good health, the fact that I have a job, some of my personal possessions, a safe, comfortable home and safe, reliable, vehicle. So many things. And, even as I acknowledge my gratitude for the shoes on my feet and the clothes on my body, I also acknowledge that I would like to have better shoes–mine are coming loose at the seams or wearing out on the bottoms (not a good thing when it rains.) Yes, prosperity and poverty are relative. What we consider poverty here in America might look like wealth in a more resource-poor developing country. Compared to folks in many places in Europe, Asia, Africa, and many nations around the world, I am wealthy; and my post-baccalaureate education puts me in the top 10 percent in the world (the fact that I have a Ph.D. puts me in the top 1 percent.) So relative to many parts of the world, I have it made. But I don’t live in other parts of the world. I live in the US, where a variety of factors all intersect together and result in my earning at roughly a working class level even though I belong to the small club (3 percent of the US population) of people with a doctorate.
At a meeting this morning I was sharing a frustration that my unit does not have sufficient budget to do the important work we’re being asked to do. We have to begin cutting programs as well as finding other ways to cut costs. In response to this a person said to me, “I know it’s frustrating not to have enough resources but the other day I was talking to a colleague from another department and they were telling me that they have to bring pens and paper from home, that their department is cutting back on office supplies meaning that people have to bring in their supplies.” In essence what the person was saying was, “Even though you’re being asked to continue to do the same or more work with shrinking resources, at least you don’t have it as bad as X department.” As I listened I found myself nodding, saying “Thank you for this reminder. It’s good to be grateful for the resources we do have.” Even as I was saying this, part of me was saying “Wait a minute. Not so fast.”
In the world as it currently exists there will always be people, departments, institutions, nations, who have more than others–more material resources, more opportunities, more everything. And there will be folks who have less, who have little to nothing. I can be grateful for what I have and still have a desire to have something better. These are tricky, somewhat nuanced concepts, but important ones. We are told that when we work hard we can expect to be rewarded in recognition of the quality and quantity of what we produce. I find it somewhat counterproductive to say, “I know you don’t have the resources you need, but you’re lucky you’re getting anything. Things could be much worse, so be happy, grateful, satisfied.
Aaaargghh! I am not describing this as clearly as I want to. Gratitude is a beautiful thing–I have spent the last 443 straight days writing about it. I also know that it can be used as a tool to keep people’s expectations low that they deserve better. Many marginalized groups of people throughout the history of this country have been told to be grateful for their lot in life cause it could be a whole lot worse. There is a way in which gratitude is sometimes a tool to “guilt” people into accepting a status quo that is substandard to what they have actually earned and are entitled to. There is definitely a balance to achieve. Be grateful, yes, but also expect that having better is in the realm of possibility and is, in fact okay. I promise to keep pondering this notion because I think it’s important to tease this out a bit more. In the meantime, I will continue to both be grateful for what I have and at the same time expect good things for myself and for those around me. Selah.
