Today I woke and rose earlier than usual. I had been wanting to make this microshift for quite a while: awaken at least 15 to 20 minutes earlier (5:30 versus 5:50). I was able to create a more spacious day for myself simply by taking that small step. I am reminded once again about the power of making small shifts, tiny steps here and there in the direction you want to move in. Sometimes we don’t have major moves in us, and all we can do is take tiny, baby steps, micro actions that one the surface would seem like we’d barely moved at all, but internally you know it. You made the change and you can feel it. At at time in my life when the whole world seemed to shift under my feet, or at least major pieces of it broke away suddenly and others less sudden but no less devastating, sometimes these small changes were all I could muster.
I am grateful tonight for the small steps. Small they might be but they are steps nonetheless; small actions taken that move us forward and are sometimes all we need to make important changes in our lives. Nearly two years ago as I was recovering from a series of unfortunate events I took a few small but significant actions that changed my life. First, I started volunteering at the local food pantry, handing out groceries to people in my community who needed food. It took me out of myself and away from my own drama and trauma to focus my energy and attention on those who needed help. It put my own privileged life into perspective to be there week in and week out assisting people who had it much tougher than I did. Second, I started writing this blog at the end of June 2011. I had decided that I needed to express my gratitude for the many blessings I had in my life, choosing to focus on the many blessings around me rather than the things I had lost and that were causing me grief.
Now as I continue to work my way up and out of those days I am grateful for the impact of those and many other actions I took–some larger than others–to find my way back to a place of relative calm. I think what I’ve learned, among other things, is to walk softly and deliberately through life, trying to gently hold and appreciate the beauty that is present in my life and to grasp the lessons that even the difficulties in life offer me on a regular basis. I still have a lot to learn, and that’s alright. I’m paying attention.
The proverb says that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Sometimes it’s a half step, sometimes it’s a giant leap. Sometimes we make several steps in a row, covering leagues in a short time. Other times we might stand still moving glacially slow such that only a time lapse camera can capture any hint of movement. But it’s all movement, and it’s all progress one way or another. My job is to be patient with myself through the process and know that each step I take, even the small ones, are taking me to a different place than I started from this morning. And for me, for now, that’s a good thing.
