Today I am grateful for many things. In fact, most days I am grateful for many things, though I usually only write about one or two.
Tonight I am grateful and somewhat relieved that I was able to complete the writing project I’ve been working on. Writing this chapter has been a process that began some months ago, right as life as I’d been living it began unraveling. The first draft I mailed to the editor was definitely not my best work–ok, it was really not very good. What was important to me at that time was getting something in to the editor so that at least I didn’t quit on it. So I was relieved and gratified when I got an e-mail back from the editor letting me know that, while my chapter needed a lot of work, she felt like I had some important insights to offer that would contribute positively to the book. She also sent two pages of suggestions and modifications I needed to make to bring the article up to snuff, including one idea that I essentially start over.
So I did. While I didn’t start completely from scratch, I gave the chapter a major makeover. I had moments of serious writer’s block, including getting totally stuck just a few days ago. I reached out to my friend Mary, who is a published author of several books and articles. I sent her the original chapter and then the revised version, which I described as a patchwork–multiple pieces that I wasn’t quite sure how to put together. Mary read both versions, then met with me to go over ideas and suggestions. That conversation was what I needed to crash through the block and pull the various pieces together to finish the chapter. I am grateful to her for the time and energy she put into the reading and editing and the encouragement I needed to give me the boost I needed to finish.
I find myself once again thinking with gratitude about my friends. I don’t have tons of them, but those I have are very good people whom I am very glad to have in my life. For much of my life I’ve been a good friend but haven’t always known how to have good friends; I’ve known how to give friendship, but not always how to receive it. So these past few months have been a wonderful learning opportunity–to pull myself out of the isolation that could easily have become part of my life and reach out to people in ways I hadn’t really done before. Looking for and finding community in a variety of places has been part of that. From the weekly meditation group to volunteering at the Food Pantry to my occasional visit to a young church community, I am finding ways to connect with people. While I still feel lonely on occasion, it is not nearly as acute as it once was.
This week I’m going to do something new. I’m not sure what it is yet, but it feels like time to add an element to what I’m doing with myself during this period in my life. I don’t know what all the week holds, so I’ll see what unfolds and report in on how it’s going. Gratitude keeps me buoyant, even when it seems to defy all the externals that tell me I should be down. I am spreading my arms wide and saying to the Universe, “Here I am!” Let’ see what happens.
