This is one of those days when I wish I had lined up a guest blogger to write for me. I mentioned to my sister the other week that I would stop writing this blog on a daily basis once I hit either Day 777, because it’s such a cool symmetrical number or at Day 800 because that was a nice round number as well. She voted from 800. Given that this is another 46 days of daily writing (versus 23) I am not sure which I’m going to go with. Writing every day is a struggle. The energy that is required to determine a theme for the evening and then have the creativity to write some coherent sentences about it are a challenge on the best of days. In the average week I perhaps have one good day during which I am inspired by the topic and can write a decent post of something over 500 words. I am grateful for those days.
I continue to find it interesting that no matter how I might struggle to put out a post on a given day someone, often someone unusual (versus one of my regular readers) will “like” the post on Facebook. On those occasions I shake my head and say, “Huh, who knew that [that person] was reading it?” That person is often not a close friend–someone I added to my friends list because we play the same game or a friend of a friend whom I barely know at all. Some people have “friended” me because of the blog and have begun reading it regularly. Who knew? It is for those surprise people for whom I keep writing. This is not to “dis” my regular readers; they are faithful and I am warmed by their dedication to reading these post–some have read it on a daily basis since I started two and a half years ago. I keep writing because I want people to be inspired to think about the blessings they have in their lives. I want them to take a five-minute pause (probably all the longer it takes to read these posts each day) and remember that no matter what might be going on in their lives there is always something for which we can be grateful. Always.
Like so many inhabitants of planet earth I have bad days. Sometimes I have bad weeks. But no matter how bad I might feel, I can always find something that I am grateful for. Always. I know I am repeating myself, but it is true. Even on my most challenged days when I feel like all I see around me and in my life is struggle and challenge, I don’t have to look very far before I have found several things for which I am grateful. And that is why I keep writing: to remind myself and to remind you. I have moments when I am at the height of frustration and anger, ranting and raving at God for all the things I’m disappointed about in my life. Even with tears rolling down my face, hollering at the top of my voice, my eye will catch something–a photograph of a loved one, my living, breathing four-legged companion looking up at me, any number of things in my immediate line of sight–and I am immediately plunged back into a grateful space.
I do not belittle my suffering–many humans experience suffering in our own ways. Many of my difficulties are first world problems: those faced by people of privilege and relative good fortune. I try to keep this in perspective before I complain about some of the things that bother me. It really is all relative. I am grateful for the times when I am aware of some of the absurdities of life. I try not to belittle my suffering, but I also try not to magnify it out of proportion to what real suffering looks like. I do my best to live my life from a place of compassion and generosity. Sometimes I accomplish it and other times not so much; but I keep trying. Writing this blog each day serves a very important personal purpose: it reminds me to keep looking every day for those blessings, those things which make my life richer and fuller for their presence. From a glorious sunset to a good meal, to a funny joke or a phone call from a friend, from the love a family member to the generosity of a stranger, there are too many such moments, such blessings to count. And so for the time being, I will keep looking, keep counting, and keep expressing my gratitude in whatever form that might take.
