Lessons in Gratitude Day 57

I am grateful this evening for synchronicity. The dictionary defines this as, “the simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.” I define it as, “when something really cool happens that’s connected to something else that just happened a little while ago.” Maybe the my definition is lacking a bit, but perhaps by sharing my example I can make a little better sense of it. The other night I was talking to my son about the concept of compassion. I was trying to explain to him that sometimes we can share a bit of wisdom or a particular truth with someone in such a way that instead of enlightening them, they can shut down, become defensive or resistant, or turn away from us. It wasn’t about what was said, it was about how it was said that made the difference. If someone is struggling with something–even if that something is of their own making–whatever wisdom I share with them must come from a place of compassion for where they are in their struggle; otherwise I potentially do more harm than good.

Then this evening, the topic of discussion at my meditation group was about–you guessed it, compassion. I appreciated the dharma talk, in which the meditation  teacher talked about the importance of compassion in how we approach the world. “Compassion,” she said, “is the only wise response to suffering. It turns difficulties into doors of liberation.”  I likewise gained insight from the small group discussion I had with a few of the people around me. I had talked briefly about the conversation I’d had with Jared about compassion, and another person shared some of her wisdom about how different generations hold different attitudes toward one another that sometimes leads to conflict. She was particularly speaking about issues between “millennials” and “boomers” in the workplace and how important it is for each group to hold the other in compassion. The millennials want to be heard and acknowledged for their skills in communications and technology and the boomers want to be honored for their wisdom and experience. One key to resolving issues between the generations was simply to help each see what the other needed to be valued and create spaces to enhance understanding. What she said made total sense to me when I thought back on some of the conflicts I’ve had with my kids, particularly as they’ve “come of age.” Another ah ha for me to consider as I interact with them.

Another member of our group talked about the importance of having compassion for oneself. Ding, ding! Big one for me. Earlier today I had been complaining to Jared how frustrated I’d been with myself today as I retraced some of my job searching steps to see what “the problem” was. What am I doing wrong? My resume must be really bad. Maybe I’ve lost my skills–if I ever really had any, that is. And on and on and on I went, mercilessly bludgeoning myself. Fortunately I don’t indulge in this often or for any great length of time before I get hold of myself and stop it. Today it was Jared reminding me to be kinder to myself. Oh yeah, like perhaps I should have more compassion for myself. I am definitely a work in progress when it comes to extending compassion to myself.

Synchronicity doesn’t just sort of happen; sometimes it shows up in direct response to a question I didn’t realize I’d asked. The message of compassion is one I clearly needed to hear multiple times from multiple people (including from myself). I’m grateful when the messages are this clear–the Universe was flashing a big red neon sign on this one. So while we’re at it Universe, there are a few other questions I have….