800 Days of Gratitude
That’s a lot of gratitude. Earlier today I was reflecting on this, turning over in my head what I might write about on this 800th day. I am proud to have sustained this gratitude practice over these 800 days (2.19033 years). The greatest gift this has given me is the ability to search for and find goodness, blessing, something, anything to be grateful for in the course of a given day no matter how difficult that day had been. To this very day there are times when I haven’t felt like things were going at all the way I wanted them to, but at the end of each day I sit looking at this computer screen, sometimes digging deep, to find something I could celebrate.
Tonight there’s no confetti, no trumpets sounding, no fanfare as I hit this particular milestone. It is tonight as it has been most nights: just me and my computer and the blinking cursor on the blank screen. I had hoped to find something deep and inspiring to write about this evening, but at the end of a day that turned out to be a little longer than I expected, I find myself once again acknowledging the very simple things that bless my life in some way.
- Family. In 799 days of blogging, at least 100 were focused on family. I have always been closely connected to my family–immediate and extended. I have deeply appreciated my siblings over these past few years. You always hope that your family will show up for you when times are hard; it’s always such a blessing when they actually do. And my family showed up big time, helping me in so many ways: emotionally and materially keeping me afloat during some very difficult times, sustaining me until I could regain my equilibrium and begin moving my life forward again. I might not ever have the capacity to return in full measure the support my siblings gave me, but I commit myself to trying, to doing what I can to give back, if not directly to them, then to something they care about or that touches them in some way. The same goes for my small handful of close friends who, like family, reached out and kept my spirits buoyed when the vicissitudes of life threatened to drown me. I continue to be grateful for and to relish their friendship.
- The Will to Keep Moving. Among other often repeated themes over these 800 days, the ability to persevere, to take on my fears, overcome challenges, and bounce back flow consistently throughout these postings. I wrote sometimes with tears of exhaustion and depression streaming down my cheeks, and yet I still sought and found numerous things for which I was grateful. I had days when I wasn’t sure how I could pull myself together enough to do more than climb out of bed, and yet somehow I managed it and went on to have unexpectedly good days. Even now I am grateful for the capacity to keep going when it would be easier to stop, to turn and run in the opposite direction, or simply to sit down, go on strike, and refuse to move. Sometimes it was a friend or relative who reached down and gave me a hand up when I was in a low place; but for most of those days, it was just me and God and my will to get myself together and keep moving.
- Natural Beauty. One of the most immediate ways I could connect to gratitude was to look for the beauty that was literally everywhere, all around me. Even as I sit here I can hear and enjoy the rhythmic cadences of crickets and other critters singing in the night. In the morning their chirping will be replaced with distinctive song of the Carolina wren (also known as the Little Bird with a Big Voice), the cooing of mourning doves, and the shrieking of bluejays. Throughout the last 24 months, the richness of the animal life surrounding me, the beauty of the ocean, Bay waters, and now creeks and rivers call to me and feed my soul. No words are required; I need only to sit in stillness and drink in the sights, sounds, smells and sensations of being out in nature.
I am grateful to be here writing. Once upon a time I had a few hundred page views on my blog site, now I have about 30. I write for a public audience, but mostly I suppose I write for myself. There’s an accountability in writing for others, and while I don’t have a huge following, I have a small number of “fans” who read every day. I am grateful to you because when I threaten to quit, you encourage me to keep writing. For the time being I will. Thank you for being here these 800 days. Together, let’s see how far we can go. Thanks.
