Tonight I am grateful once again for members of “Team Terry/Marquita” who continue to show up for me in so many ways. My sister Ruth, who for the second Thursday in a row came over to my house to let Honor out to get a little relief because I had to work late, and my daughter “MJ” who is guest blogger again this week, the team steps up when I ask for help every time. I am also grateful that I have gotten a whole lot better at asking for help. So tonight, enjoy this week’s lesson in gratitude from guest blogger, Michal “MJ” Jones.
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Autumn has long been and remains my favorite season. Even with the gloominess of Seattle weather, I adore the crispness of the air, the dramatic color changing and falling of the leaves, the warmth and comfort of thicker coats, tasty pumpkin lattes and apple cider… the list goes on. In addition to creature comforts and the beauty of nature associated with autumn, fall is the time of year I find myself falling in love with people, ideas, and myself. Call it the Libra energy, but I believe autumn is the most romantic and loving time of the year.
I can hear the caution in my mother’s voice as I, once again, open up to her about my excitement at blossoming and deepening romance in my life. I don’t blame her – she has often been on the other side of the phone guiding me through difficult relationship dilemmas or comforting me through tears. Her presence and concern for me is the purest manifestation of unconditional love itself.
In some of my previous relationships, I often threw caution to the wind. I ignored warning signs and allowed myself to be treated disrespectfully. And, despite the pain inflicted upon me (as well as pain I caused others), I will never regret any of these relationships or their lessons. Although I did not realize it at the time, my desire for my concept of love outweighed the love and respect I held for myself.
I am grateful for both the presence and absence of love in my life. As I have grown older and (hopefully) wiser, my approach to love has shifted. I no longer allow myself to remain in situations where love has left the table or was never being served to begin with. I have more respect for myself than to settle for anything less than I deserve, which is the world and more. Wrapped up in almost all lessons of life and love is the practice of self-love, which I have yet to master, but that I acknowledge as fundamental. Love is at its healthiest and strongest when coming from a place of wholeness rather than reaching out for completion.
While I am less bright-eyed and bushy tailed about jumping into love with no precautions, I know that my ability to be present and open is one of the most important qualities in any relationship. Each of us carry scars and barriers, but if I believe or fear that a relationship or friendship is doomed from the beginning, why pursue it? If nothing else, the impermanence of love should lead me to appreciate it more, not avoid it or hold up barriers to block its flow. Just as a love or friendship connection, life itself may also end at any moment – should that stop me from living it?
I carry my mother’s wisdom with me as I make my own decisions about when and whom I love. I am both young and old; naïve and wise. I have no answers about where my love will be in a week, year, or years from now, but I don’t need them. I need presence of mind, heart, and spirit; I need to outstretch my arms; and I need to live.
