Tonight is a good night to spin the wheel of the Random Number Generator. I was up at 5:30, got onto campus by 7:45, and participated in non-stop meetings from 8:15 through 3 p.m. I mean I stopped once to take a bio break and other than that it was running from one place to the next, stopping in my office long enough to change folders. I am committing myself to making some changes in my approach to my work. Just because many people around me has chosen a life of frenetic frenzy doesn’t mean I have to do so. Still, it’s easy to get caught up in the pace of things and run oneself into the ground. I am striving toward less striving and creating more spaciousness in my schedule. At the moment I’m failing miserably, but fully intend to keep working at it until I succeed.
It took me several spins to land on a posting that spoke to me tonight. My sister, knowing how tired I was, gently fussed at me, “Don’t be a perfectionist. Trust the next spin and just go with it.” While I didn’t go with the very next spin (I spun at least three more times), I did finally land on just the right thing. It’s one of the benefits of having access to all these previous posts–I get to relearn the various lessons as I reread them and renew and deepen my understanding of the many permutations of gratitude I’ve shared over the months. This lesson, from March of 2012, builds on the Buddhist principle of “right speech.” It was very helpful for me to reread this tonight as a reminder of the importance of monitoring the words that come out of my mouth–the impact they can have on others for good or harm. So grateful for remembering the lesson. Enjoy!
Wow, am I tired! It’s a good tired, though. From waking early to write, heading off to earn my daily bread, and then off to a wonderful evening class about the central Buddhist teaching on the Eightfold Path, it’s been a long,good day. Talk about right place, right time. Taking this class (and one in February on the Four Noble Truths) is providing much-needed food for thought on the nature of suffering and the pathway through it toward happiness. And even though I am generally tired by the time I get there (and help set up the room for the class), I know that I am drinking in the material at both conscious and subconscious levels. I imagine I’ll still be learning and gaining insight from it when I rest my head on my pillow to sleep tonight. I am grateful for the teachings and for the teacher, whose down-to-earth nature, kindness and compassion, vibrant sense of humor, and deep wisdom are very resonant with my preferences as a learner and somewhat my style as a teacher.
This past week our homework from the class was to practice “right speech”(or wise, skillful, beneficial speech.) It turned out to be incredibly difficult to engage in something that should be relatively simple. I spend a lot of time thinking about words–as a writer it sort of goes with the territory. But there’s definitely a different dynamic when dealing with the written versus the spoken word. When I’m writing, and this blog is a very good example of this, I spend a lot of time sorting through words I want to use to phrase what I’m saying in the most positive way possible. Over the past few years I’ve become quite mindful of reframing what I am saying, moving it out of a negative frame, as best I can and into a more positive, or at least neutral frame. Doing this as I’m sitting down writing is a whole lot easier than it is on the fly, spur of the moment, rough and tumble world of verbal interaction. It can all just happen so fast and suddenly there you are blurting something out and dealing with the ensuing unintended consequences. The blurt factor is particularly hard on introverts who often, when pressed to give an opinion before we’re ready can sometimes get ourselves in trouble saying something we didn’t really mean.
Right or wise speech is about being truthful, not gossiping, speaking in a friendly, gentle manner, and not engaging in idle chatter. In other words, talking only when necessary. I can’t imagine that there are many people alive who have not experienced the power of words to hurt or heal, to bring about joy, peace and happiness or anger, war,and suffering. Sadly,most human beings have been on the receiving end of potentially damaging and destructive words,and equally sad,many of us have also had the experience of delivering hurtful or unhelpful words. That is why learning about wise speech is so incredibly helpful. If I can get this,along with other key concepts of the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path,I will be further ahead in my quest to be a good human being.
The other week a friend posted a quote on his wall in Facebook that I will post here. I looked all over to find who wrote it so I could give appropriate attribution,but still haven’t quite found it. But here it is:
“Before you speak,T.H.I.N.K. T= Is it True H= Is it Helpful I= Is it Inspiring N= Is it Necessary? K= Is it Kind?”I did find one attribution that seemed pretty close to this. It’s from Sri Sathya Sai Baba,an Indian Spiritual leader who said “Before you speak, think–Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind, will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence?” If you rearrange the letters of this quote (from Thinkexist.com) you still arrive at T.H.I.N.K.:Is it True? Will it Hurt anyone? Will it Improve on the silence? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?
No matter who said it, it definitely provides a power filter to screen our speech. I didn’t soar in my efforts to engage in “right speech” this past week. There were times I failed miserably and couldn’t seem to get past “Is it true” to even approach whether or not what I was saying in a given moment was helpful, inspiring (or encouraging),necessary or kind. What I was saying might have been true,but it failed the other four criteria. It will take me a while to get the hang of “wise speech”as the Buddha taught it and as this simple tool T.H.I.N.K. encourages me to do. But armed with this new awareness about the importance of right speech and this new approach I know enough to be dangerous! I am definitely looking forward to working with it.
The psalmist writes,“may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing…” May it be so indeed.
