Tonight I am tired and almost don’t have the energy to write. For the last several nights I have fallen asleep writing this blog. Last night I conked out and woke up at midnight before finishing and posting it. I am not fully certain that the ending made any sense whatsoever.
I am grateful this evening for the approaching Thanksgiving holiday. I have to work tomorrow until noon and then I’m off for the rest of the week. I acknowledge that I am privileged to work someplace that gives me that much time off; there are plenty of people who have to work through, on the holiday, and after. There are people who work in retail stores that will be open on Thanksgiving day. What once was restricted to “Black Friday” now includes “Brown Thursday.” My goodness. I watched images on television of crazed shoppers pushing and shoving and nearly trampling one another to get into the stores to buy their flat screen televisions and other electronics, appliances, and various other must-have items. It is my goal to be as far from a brick and mortar store as possible, particularly on Friday. I look forward to the holiday weekend as a time to simply rest and exhale after what has seemed like a frenetic few months from summer vacation until now.
As I sit here, once again half asleep, I am listening to a driving rain pelting against the roof, the windows, the side of the house. I hear the wind whipping through the trees, my wind chimes ringing wildly and the lid to my neighbor’s trash dumpster flapping up and down. I find myself thinking about those who have no shelter from this storm, no warm, dry, safe place to get out of the cold, wind, and rain. I do not feel guilty for myself being warm, dry, and safe, but keep in my thoughts and prayers those for whom what I consider a basic necessity is a luxury that they do not have access to and cannot afford. It is a balance: understanding where I am privileged and how, when, and where to use it and also not feeling guilty that I have privilege. I can be aware that I have it, work to ensure that others have access, and yet not disdain that I have it. It is a concept I am not likely to be able to explain very well this evening when I am tired and nodding off at the keyboard. Let me leave it at how grateful I am to be living in my little house, sharing it with my canine roommate.
I am also grateful for other simple, basic things that I have written about many times: the love of friends and family, having a good job that, while challenging in a number of ways is still a blessing to have, being of relatively sound mind and body, and having access to natural beauty around me. I remain grateful for this practice of gratitude, on which I place a high value as a spiritual practice. Maya Angelou said, “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer.” I would say that this is how I have lived out this practice. My gratitude practice has transformed my life, and as I wind down this public expression of daily gratitude, I continue to ponder how I will continue to do so privately. What will that look like and in what other ways will I connect with the wider world once I no longer write this blog? My expectation is that, by keeping an open heart as I ask the question, Spirit will guide me into the answer even as I was led to begin this blog. In the meantime, for the next 34 days, I’ll meet you right back here.
