It has been a quiet day. Quiet is good. In an odd way, this has been a tiring week, though I can’t really pinpoint why. I think some of the work that I’ve been doing to keep myself in a positive frame of mind is exhausting. I’m grateful today for something simple–a routine. A routine is helpful because it provides a structure I can operate from, even when I don’t feel like it. Even though yesterday wasn’t a particularly upbeat day, I was able to move through it because of the routine. I did my meditation, I took my walk, I wrote my blog. This morning I woke somewhat out of sorts, but after a brief meditation period–including a few moments of tears–I was able to get on track for having a reasonably good day in part because of the more routine elements of my day.
Writing this blog has become part of my daily routine. Some days I am inspired by a particular event or idea and other days I dig deep to find something to say. It really is gratifying that people read and have found my musings useful or interesting or inspiring. When I started on this writing journey I had no idea what was going to happen. Sometimes I write more for the reader than I do for myself and feel some pressure to have it be “good.” I had a friend suggest to me that if I get stuck I could just go back and pull out an early blog and reprint it and see if anyone noticed. I’m not sure anyone else would notice, but I would. It could be tempting to “cheat” I suppose, but that’s what it would feel like to me, cheating. I committed to myself that every day I was going to write about something I am grateful for. Reprinting an earlier blog doesn’t really count.
When one has suffered from depression over a long period of time, sometimes being able to say “I’m grateful” at the end of a day is a good thing; even if all they can say is “I’m grateful that I made it through another day.” There have been many times over the past few months when I said that, and meant it. I have been grateful that I didn’t merely crawl my way through a day, but actually had a good day. I remember at points wondering if I would ever feel good. The emotional roller coaster was operating around the clock, and I found myself thinking it would be nice to feel good for a whole entire day. Then I started thinking that it would be really nice to string two whole good days together. I’m not sure if I’ve accomplished that yet, but I know this to be true: when I can live and breathe and walk through the day with a sense of gratitude moment by moment, as best I can, I have had a good day.
I want to ask something of you the reader. Up to this point–66 days of blogging–this has been a monologue about many aspects of gratitude from my perspective and life experience. I want to know what you are grateful for. As you read these various posts, what has resonated with you that has awakened your own sense of appreciation for things in your life? After you read this post, whether here or in Facebook, please comment back to me on something you’re grateful for. It could be that your response/comment will inspire gratitude for different things that I hadn’t thought about. I’m always happy to think about other things I am grateful for. It could be something simple (I love strawberries), it could be something deep (I am grateful for the role that faith plays in my life)…what is it that you’re grateful for? What are those things in your life that you cherish? Share it with us! I am grateful to those of you who read this blog faithfully as well as those of you who peek in periodically. Now I’d love to hear back from you.
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