I am grateful for every good day–for those days when there is more ease than struggle, more sunshine than fog and clouds, more smiling than sighing. Although I have learned to navigate through days of struggle, clouds, and sighing, I do appreciate those days when I don’t have to work so hard. Today was a pretty good day. I got another chance to hang out with my sister and brother in law. Jared and I rode the BART (train) into San Francisco to join them for breakfast. We had a nice ride in, a good time visiting with family one more time before they head back to DC tomorrow, and a nice conversation during the train ride back home.
Today was a spectacular day weather-wise. I took a break from reviewing material for an upcoming job interview to take Jared to work and to take my walk around Chavez Park. I realized as I trekked the first half mile around the perimeter of the Park that I never tire of the vistas or take for granted the pure pleasure I derive from the brief time I spend there. I’ve taken to walking the 1.5 miles much faster than I had before in order to derive more physical benefit from the activity. At first I was worried that by walking faster I might not be as attentive to the scenery as I was when I’d walked a bit more slowly, but this has not been the case. I’ve also taken to doubling back the way I came so as to extend the amount of time I spend by the water itself. Though the entire circuit around the Park is picturesque, the half mile of the walk bayside is what speaks to me. So I still get the distance but double the scenic pleasure. After the approximately 25 minutes of serious walking, I retreat to my same bench to look out across the Bay, joined as always by my amusing friends the ubiquitous ground squirrels.
I do this junket several times per week, and will be a little sad when the weather turns rainier and colder and I can’t sit out in the open like this. Of course I will also have a job eventually that likely means I can’t spend an hour at the Park in the middle of the afternoon. A friend told me that I had been given the “gift of time” when I got laid off. In some ways she’s right. Although I’ve spent many anxious hours job searching, revising my resume, and working on “re-branding” myself, I’ve also taken time to be out in nature that is so healing and restorative to me. It is among the many things that have helped keep my spirits lifted when things haven’t felt like they were going so well.
In summers in between my college years I worked on a 1300 acre farm in northern Indiana. I loved working outdoors doing sometimes strenuous physical labor. Several years ago back when I lived in Michigan, each year I planted a massive vegetable garden. It gave me a great deal of satisfaction to plant, tend to, harvest and eat (or put up) my own vegetables. Having lived in an urban environment these past six years has at times been difficult, which is why I love going to the Park so much. I am grateful for the beauty, the open and expansiveness of it, and the connection I feel with the earth. I’m not sure how long I will enjoy this “gift” of time–pressing responsibilities are creating a sense of urgency for finding employment soon. But this week and for whatever time I have before I get that job will find me walking in the sunshine opening my hands and my heart toward the beauty that is around me.
