Tonight’s lesson in gratitude is a guest post from my youngest kid, Michal “MJ” Jones. Enjoy.
It has been a long, trying few months. We can seldom predict what lies ahead, regardless of our efforts to plan out what we have envisioned and hoped our lives would be. I have experienced many challenging transitions in the past few months – relocating, being out of my “academic bubble” for the first time in decades, and struggling to find work that I value and that values me. My mother has often made the reference of “riding the mechanical bull” to describe life’s twists and turns – all I can do is hold on as best I can and attempt to enjoy the ride. In spite of recent challenges, I find myself feeling extremely fortunate for the gift of family – near and far, blood and chosen. Where would I be without them?
As I reflect on the challenges I have handled in recent times, I am in deep, deep gratitude for both of my parents. I have lost count of the times I have called my mother with my voice wrought with tears of panic. Each time, she has responded with the same calm, warm reassurance: “Everything is going to be alright, sweet pea. We are not going to let you fall.” In the midst of her own trials and tribulations, my mother always finds time to lend support. She would write this off as simply “what mamas do,” but I know that, as far as mamas go, I couldn’t be luckier.
Yesterday, I had the unexpected pleasure of hanging out with my older brother, Jared. We are both not the best at making plans – we have not lived in the same area for many years, and are still perhaps getting used to the idea – and I was pleasantly surprised when he called me yesterday requesting a spontaneous adventures. As we drove to the Berkeley Marina and sat in front of the water exchanging deep thoughts, I felt a sharp sense of presence and clarity. He drove (okay, flew) us up the winding roads of Tilden National Park, and as the ground became more and more distant, I was reminded of my mother’s same, soothing message: “Everything is going to be alright.” I am grateful to my brother for being the person he is, and for the fact that we are kinder, gentler humans than we were growing up!
Earlier this afternoon, I was fortunate enough to get a call from my father – as always, right when I needed it. He has been ripping and running and traveling all over the country and world for work, and still took the time to call me on his layover in LAX. My father rarely expects anything from me on these phone calls, he simply listens, offers important perspective, and provides much of the same reassurance my mother does: “Keep us in the loop and go after what you want. We’ll support you.”
In my younger years, I struggled to see my immediate family as functional; as what I understood families to be. My parents separated when I was very young, and I am still understanding the significance of that event in my adult life. I viewed our family as broken for a long time, but have since come to understand our situation in different terms. We all remain connected. We support one another and give everything we can to hold each other up. We do the best we can. We lean on one another. We rack up countless hours on the phone line loving, supporting, and arguing with one another! The roots of my family’s generosity and love still pleasantly surprise me.
I am in deep love and appreciation of my family this evening and every evening. Not only have they linked arms in a web of support to lift me up – they are uproarious laughter, comfort food, kind gestures, generosity, loyalty, and sacrifice. And on the next day I am doubting my own worth, or frightened of what lies ahead, I will remember my mother’s voice: “Everything is going to be alright, sweet pea.” And so it shall be.
