It is amazing how often this happens: I write a post about standing strong in the face of one’s fears, about planting one’s staff, taking a stand boldly in the face of opposition, and then kablooey, it blows up in my face the very next day. I have to admit that I’m smiling and shaking my head in this moment–partly at the ridiculous irony of it, and partly because of my use of the word kablooey. The image that popped into my head is that of a cartoon character who has something literally blow up in their face. It’s remarkable how often this happens to Daffy Duck or Wile E. Coyote or any number of characters. In the cartoons they always return from it unscathed only to get blown up again later, often in the same episode. While I do not have as many lives as Wile E. and don’t bounce back quite as quickly as my cartoon friends, I must always remember that adversity is relative and that I really must remember to keep things in perspective. So I suppose I must once again express gratitude for perseverance.
As I was explaining to a colleague the latest bit of drama to occur in what has felt like a series of unfortunate events laden with it, she remarked how sorry she was that I was facing it. I replied to her that it sort of went with the territory and that at the end of the day, “This too shall pass.” And I suppose as I sit here tonight I know that to be true. This too shall pass, no matter what the “this” is. That continues to be the lesson for me. So yes, no matter what comes my way, I still have to plant my staff, face the cannon, stand strong, even if I first need to struggle up to my knees and climb to a standing position to do so. Even if I have to wrap my bleeding knuckles around my staff and hold on for dear life to keep from wobbling and falling down again, I have to plant that damned staff in front of the incredibly scary, monstrous-looking balrog and bellow in its face, “You shall not pass.” (For all my Lord of the Ring friends you know what I’m talking about.)
In all candor, I sometimes weary of the lessons–even lessons in gratitude on occasion! To learn lessons the way I seem to be taught them generally means confronting some challenge, some balrog in my life. It sometimes means being grateful for the moment of respite in the midst of much chaos, the quiet in the eye of the storm. Some of us signed up for this when we arrived on the planet. We were destined–or doomed, depending on your perspective–to be crusaders, activists, taker-uppers of challenging causes. Once upon a time I wanted to be a veterinarian. I somehow think my life would be fraught with less drama, or perhaps a different kind. I have to think that it would be a little simpler and more rewarding on a more consistent basis. But alas, that is not what I signed up for, and for the foreseeable future I will continue to have moments where I am grateful to simply get through this thing to get on to the next.
“This too will pass” is not simply a platitude–I suppose it’s an attitude (alright, I should have resisted that, but didn’t) It is a crusader’s mantra, a warriors credo. It says, “I have stood this before. I am standing it now. It will pass.” I wish you could feel it the way I do, Reader. It is a quiet assurance. Even when I am at my most weary, I can hold onto it, and while I am sure there are cumulative effects of repeatedly facing the balrog I can’t think about that right now. As I quoted Eleanor Roosevelt yesterday, “You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’…You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” I must keep moving even when I think I cannot take another step. And so I shall.
Lest this sound particularly dire, it is not. Whenever I weigh a bit of unpleasantness in my life, I balance against the wonderful, beautiful things that surround me and know that all is well. And all shall be well. I have so many amazing reasons to be grateful that it makes no sense to dwell for any significant period of time on what is difficult. So, I shall not. And if tomorrow turns out to be another “kablooey” day and I end up looking like a crispy version of Wile E. Coyote, so be it. Come what may, I will be truly grateful.
