My sister Ruth is one of the finest people I know. I know a lot of people, a lot of good people, but Ruth is among the best. I am grateful to have in my life a best friend who is also my younger sister. Of course, this has not always been the case. When we were growing up, Ruth, who is four years my junior, got on my nerves a great deal. And as is often the case between siblings, I was quite mean to her. As I look back on it, very rarely did she “deserve” any of the mean things I said and did to her. But again, such is the nature of sibling relationships, particularly when the “baby” of the family is involved. You see, I had four years as the baby of the family until Ruth came along and messed that up. Of course I was so young I don’t really remember the perks of being the baby, but I figure when there are four siblings ahead of you there must have been some.
It wasn’t until I went away to college that I began to realize that I liked Ruth, heck, I probably even loved her. Though the first summer I was back it didn’t take me too long to remember that she was a pain in the backside, absence had indeed made the heart grow fonder. When she came to my college campus to visit for “Little Sister Weekend” I performed a song that I’d written for her. It was one of those impromptu hallway concerts that happened periodically on the second floor of Meredith Hall where I lived my first year of college. I don’t remember how she reacted to the song, but it spoke to what I had been feeling during our time of separation–that somehow she had grown up in the year I was away. Literally and figuratively she had grown up, inching past me in height. I think I also began to understand what my two older sisters had felt when they looked at me–who are you? Where is that little girl who was here when I left home for college? When I played, “Little Sister Song” for my oldest sister, Michaele, she cried. It sort of has that effect on people who have little sisters.
So somehow during my college years Ruth became one of the finest people I know; or perhaps I simply began to recognize her for who she’d always been. Ruth has always had a kind and generous spirit, thoughtful and considerate of others. As I’ve watched her grow and seen her become a young professional, then a young wife and then a mother, I have experienced from her such a loving presence. When I think about whom I consider a quintessential “good” mother, she is that person. I’ve watched how she cares for her family, nurtures her children in a way I’ve come to regard as a model. Unfortunately for my kids who are 10 and 12 years older than Ruth’s it was already too late for me to learn from her about how to be a really great mom to my kids. Ruth possesses a strength of character that I do see in myself and in my other siblings–I believe we all get that in some measure from our parents and the example they set for us as well as the life experiences that have shaped each of us into our own persons. Still there are the strengths that she embodies that I truly admire.
I am grateful to have Ruth in my life. We spent over two hours on the phone this past weekend and I chatted on line with her just today. I wish I lived closer to her so we could spend more time in each other’s company, but I’ll take phone and Skype and Facebook in the meantime. She would no doubt be embarrassed by such lavish praise–like most of us Chamblees she shies away from it. But if you asked each of my sisters and brothers about what makes Ruth special, to a person they’d all have something wonderful to say. Each of my siblings is precious to me in her/his own way, and though it might sound like it, I don’t have a favorite. Perhaps it is our closeness in age (though I am closer in age to my older brother Alan), perhaps there are other connections that we share, but for some reason I am connected to Ruth in a special way. I am more grateful than I can fully express at what she means to me.
In a rare moment of self-exposure, I am attaching to this blog a rough video of the Little Sister Song that I recorded especially for tonight’s expression of gratitude. It’s a little rocky at first and there’s a lag even after three takes, but stick with it. Enjoy!
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