Lessons in Gratitude Day 114

I’m grateful tonight for the opportunity to pay it forward. Sometimes I get help from people whom I don’t have the ability to repay, at least not in dollars. In at least one case I’ve been able to barter services–helping create some promotional materials and a website for her business in exchange for her help. But in other cases the person helping me doesn’t need anything from me, as much as I wish I had something to offer them. So today, when one of my nieces called me out of the blue asking if I could help her complete a project, it was kind of an answered prayer. Earlier in the day I’d received some much-needed financial help from a person close to me who doesn’t want anything in return. So being able to turn around and help my niece at least helps spread the love around–it helps me to pay it forward. Nevertheless I believe that sometime down the road, I’ll be able to somehow return the favor directly to the person who’s helped me. I’m not sure how yet, but the day will come.

One of the things I’ve really learned is that there’s no shame in needing and asking for help; in fact it’s far worse to need help and be too ashamed, embarrassed, proud, etc. to ask for it. I have gotten over the fear that I’ll appear and then become needy, that asking for help means I’m weak somehow. Back in the day when I was more financially comfortable, I provided funds to people I love who needed support, to charities, etc. It felt good, sometimes downright magnanimous to give. It feels a lot different to be on the receiving end. But it’s not enough to give, we also have to be able to receive and to do so graciously. It’s taken me a long time to get better at receiving: receiving compliments, receiving gifts, and definitely receiving financial assistance during times of struggle. In the book, The Trance of Scarcity, author Victoria Castle puts it this way:

“Receiving means being available in the fullest sense of the word–allowing the precious moments of life to touch us deeply. Receiving has nothing to do with being worthy, but it has everything to do with being open…Gratitude deepens the pleasure of Receiving and makes us eager to accept more and more good things into our lives…”

Can’t miss the connection between gratitude and receiving in that, can ya? So my plan is to be a giving and receiving maniac. In reality, it’s really fun to do both. So I’m really grateful to be able to help my niece with her project. For one thing, it connects me to her in a way I haven’t been before. I talked to her on the phone for over an hour this evening–the longest conversation I’ve ever had with her. It’s so odd, but very cool to be talking to these “kids” who are now in college. And to be asked to help out with something is even cooler. I’m grateful for the opportunity to connect with her in this way, and hopefully we’ll get the project knocked out this weekend. It’s all good.

I love opportunities to pay it forward, to give to someone else not looking for or expecting anything in return. And somehow even when not expecting anything in return, something shows up nonetheless. Life is good.