Tonight is a good night for simple gratitude. It has been a good, relatively quiet day. Michal has come to visit for the weekend in part to continue her birthday celebration and also as a break from school. I am grateful that she found her way here safely and without incident. We spent some time working together on her applications for graduate school. She has to answer a number of essay-like questions, which she’s done quite well. With a little tweaking, she’ll be ready to send the first one out in the next day or so. Jared was off work early this evening, so the three of us were able to go out to dinner together. Unfortunately for me, because I am still on my nutritional cleanse, I sat and picked at my very bland salad while they scarfed down gourmet burgers and fries, washed down with a beer. I’m not a beer drinker, but I must confess I salivated over their burgers and fries.
Now I am upstairs working on this blog and enjoying the sound of Jared and Michal chatting together. They haven’t always gotten along so well–they get on each other’s nerves at times–but they also seem to really enjoy talking about music, movies, and other “safe” subjects. I am grateful for having them both home and the three of us together. It isn’t something I take for granted. These days will grow fewer as my “children” continue on their paths and increasingly lead their own independent lives. So while I have them with me, I’m going to hold on tight. In fact, as soon as I finish writing, I’m going to head back downstairs and hang out with them a little while longer.
I am also grateful tonight for opportunity. In a little over a week I have an on-site job interview at an institution out of state. The last on-site interview I went on a month ago confirmed for me what I’d thought going into it–that the institution and I were not a good fit for each other, the job was not right for me and neither was the place. The upcoming interview feels right–the job is a much better fit for my skills and experiences, and a number of other factors make it a potentially good opportunity. Still, it’s scary. Being seven months without a job has been challenging at many levels. So when I have a shot at one that looks pretty good it’s hard to balance confidence and enthusiasm with not wanting to get ones hopes up too high.
Then there’s the matter of possibly leaving California. Seems like I was finally getting a little more settled out here and standing a little more on my own two feet and now I could be moving. My son observed in his practical, matter-of-fact way, “Mom, if God wanted you to stay here, something would open up for you out here.” He has a point. So far I haven’t received so much as a nibble on anything I’ve applied for out here. As I’ve said in recent blogs, it would be great if God would offer a clear answer so I’d have a sense of what I’m doing next. Perhaps the upcoming interview will provide some of that hoped-for clarity. We shall see.
So another night finds me grateful for all that’s present in my life at this moment. We really only have this moment and I want to make it count. That said, I’m going to trot downstairs and hang out with the kids. As I end, I’ll offer the last verse of a song I wrote called, “Letting Go”
I watch my children and I see how fast they grow Each day brings me closer to the time I have to let ’em go. But until then I hug ’em and I bless ’em and I love ’em and I let them know That I’ll hold on tight, and won’t let go. People come in our lives and for a while they stay But they’re not ours to keep, we let them go, we give them away So we’ve gotta make the best we can of each and every day Because all too soon we know, we’ll face another time of letting go.(© M. T. Chamblee, 1996)
© M. T. Chamblee, 2011
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