Today has been a good day. It began with brunch with my children–my young adults as they have now become. As usual the conversation was interesting, thought-filled, and at times quite funny. I am grateful to have kids who still want to hang out with me and with each other. I hope it remains true as they continue to grow into their adult years and I into my advanced ones. I see my siblings’ children also remaining deeply connected to them, which makes me very glad for them and for me, as I connect periodically–albeit long distance–with my nieces and nephews. Connection to family has always been important to me and remains so.
I was also able to respond to someone in need this afternoon. I got a phone call from a friend who needed to talk. It was rare for her to call out of the blue, particularly on a Sunday, and ask if I could meet her someplace. That alone got my attention and prompted me to leave home (and hanging out with my daughter) to spend a few hours listening to and offering thoughts to my friend. It’s really an honor to be called to do this–to listen, bear witness, be a mirror for someone who is going through a struggle. In listening to and advising her, I could also hear wisdom that I need to apply to my own life. Part of what she needed to do was to get quiet, still her restless, noisy thoughts, and really listen to her heart. There are things she needs clarity about, and all the noise and chaos and confusion in her mind is blocking her ability to receive clear “instructions” from her wise self. I believe that we each have our own answers to many of the challenges we face; our task is to ask ourselves the right questions then sit still long enough and quietly enough that we can hear the answers. (Note to self: heed your own wisdom here.)
My friend is in the midst of having to make some difficult decisions in her personal life and her work life. She needed to be able to talk things out and get clear about her next steps. I am glad to have been able to help her think through some of the twists and turns that she struggled to sort through on her own. Part of what’s required of her (and for many of us in the throes of making life choices) is that she is truly honest with herself about what is working and what isn’t, and that she’s willing to look at her own “stuff” that she brought into the situation. Note to self: be honest with yourself about what you need and want in a given situation and be prepared to ask for it. That’s a tough one for many of us, but definitely worth working on.
I’m grateful to have answered the phone this afternoon when my friend called. Although it wasn’t on my agenda for today, I appreciated that my daughter “allowed” me to go guilt-free and help my friend. And I was glad to have gone. Sometimes, because I’ve been in the midst of my own drama, it’s nice to be able to forget about my own struggles, shake them off and be able to help shoulder someone else’s burdens for a little while. It helped her and it helped me. And when I got home, Michal had fixed a truly fabulous dinner. It all worked out for the good. I may wake tomorrow morning once again beset by some of the worries I’ve been working through, but for tonight I feel blessed to have been there to make a difference for my friend. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
© M. T. Chamblee, 2011
