What a lovely day. My friend Judi is visiting from Australia and we spent today hanging out. I took her up to Sonoma State to see Michal (whom she’d met almost 7 years ago) and otherwise took time chatting and catching up on all that had taken place in our lives the past few years. Of course much of my sharing was dominated by all the drama I experienced over the past months and the various actions I’ve taken to “right the ship” so to speak. It has been really good reconnecting with her and remembering some things I’d forgotten about myself, some of my dreams and aspirations as well as things that I’m good at. Judi reminded me that I have a lot going for me–gifts and talents, etc.–that should not be languishing in the ways that I’ve allowed them to recently. As has often been the case with friends, she held a mirror up that reflected back to me things that I wasn’t able to see about what I have to offer the world.
I realize that job hunting can put you in a very vulnerable position–that in selling yourself, talking about your expertise, your experiences, your background and accomplishments, etc. you are putting yourself “out there” for scrutiny by people who, not knowing you at all, will judge your abilities and determine whether or want you’re good enough for them to want you. Being rejected multiple times can be really hard on even the strongest of egos, which mine has not been. So the challenge is to try to learn from each interviewing or resume writing or cover letter creating experience and not to take the whole thing deeply personally. For some of us, our esteem is tied pretty closely to what we do for a living. So when one is unemployed and therefore not doing anything for a living per se, it can feel very diminishing. When doing the job hunt in relative isolation the opportunities for self confidence to erode are even greater.
So I really am appreciative of conversations I have with friends like Judi who remind me that I am in fact quite a talented individual and that the right opportunity will find me. Each of us should have in our life at least one cheerleader, one person who encourages us, supports us, listens to us (even when we whine) and help us to make sense of what’s happening. I am grateful for the number of people in my life who are willing to do that and more. It really is a blessing to have good friends and family for this. I do not now and hope I never take them for granted, they are lifesavers in so many areas of my life.
I will continue to draw on the love and support of friends and family as the job search continues with all it’s perils and possibilities. In the midst of the process I will continue to work on strengthening my confidence in my abilities and skills even in the face of rejections that are a fairly regular part of job hunting. It’s important to remember that in a very real sense it’s not personal, that in some cases I am just not the best fit for the position. I’ll continue learning from each of these experiences, even when they don’t feel so good, and be grateful for the lessons they offer.
