I lost my job eight months ago today. That day and those that followed were fill with angst, confusion, bewilderment, and pain. It was among the most difficult days in my recent memory and certainly one of the most difficult days in 28 years of professional life. I have experienced times of struggle and uncertainty and times of appreciation and relative calm. Throughout these eight months, though, it has remained in my mind–whether in the forefront or background–that I am unemployed, and while my employment status does not define who I am, I feel the impacts of it literally every day.
I have searched out and written about so many things for which I am grateful. These eight months have offered many lessons in gratitude, generosity, compassion, forgiveness and many other things. I am not sure I would say that I am grateful for the various losses I’ve experienced throughout 2011, but I am grateful to have developed (and continue to develop) the capacity to find the lessons and the opportunities and the grace that emerges from or is embedded in the losses and challenges and vicissitudes of life. I’m grateful to have found humor and laughed over these months; to have been wounded and been able to cry and hold myself with compassion; to have experienced beauty in the world around me and within me. These are a few broad examples; there are likewise many specific examples of situations and things that awakened and enlivened in me a grateful heart.
Tonight I am really tired and have a number of things cooking on my mind, so I will close a little early. I will end with simple gratitude for my friend Judi who is now on a plane back to Australia. It’s nice to be able to reconnect with someone you haven’t seen in a number of years and pick your friendship up right where it left off. I’ve no doubt we’ll stay in touch at least electronically and meet up again sometime in the next year. May she travel safely and well and return home to her beloved farm in the Australian bush. I am grateful as always for friends and family and of course for all you faithful readers of this blog. May you be inspired to continue experiencing and offering gratitude in your daily lives.
