Lessons in Gratitude Day 183

This is going to be one of those short blog posts that occur periodically. It’s been an odd sort of day, parts good, parts neutral, parts no so good. No part of this day has been bad really, so I can say at the end of it that I am grateful for another day of life on the planet.

In spite of the fact that I said I wasn’t going to do this today, I spent the better part of the day scouring job search sites looking for promising employment prospects. There weren’t many that I would be eminently qualified for or that if I had the qualifications for it that they would hire me. Though I originally focused my search in certain geographical locations, I will shortly begin looking all over the country, even in places where I would not normally want to live. Today I read a somewhat sobering article about the plight of some people over 50 who are unemployed. The gist of it was that once you’re out of the workforce, it’s really challenging to break back into it. It was a reminder to me that I am in fact not 30, no matter how young I feel, and that the ease with which I used to be able to get work is perhaps a thing of the past. It’s hard to say that without sounding pessimistic and negative. I’ve been working hard to use positive, affirmative language about my situation so as to not attract even more negativity in my life circumstances, but I must confess that it’s getting harder to do that.

I think perhaps tomorrow I will get back into the end-of-year plan to reflect on the year past, what I’ve learned from it, what I want to let go of and to look ahead and set some intentions for what I would like to unfold in 2012. At the moment I feel like I’m in the midst of an epic struggle that’s drawing upon my mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual reserves. In short, I’m approaching need-a-miracle territory. I’ve been here before, more than once in my life, and through what I would call the grace of God a door opened just in time and I was able to move forward. I was a lot younger then, but I’m not aware that there are statutes of limitations that prevent doors from opening or miracles from happening or angels appearing for someone who is a bit longer in the tooth. So for now my plan is to keep doing what I know to do (sending out applications, reaching out and connecting with people, etc.), trying to stay positive, and keeping the faith. And I’ll keep looking for and writing about the things I am grateful for, even and especially when those things are harder to spot. I am looking forward to being on the other side of these challenges, but while I’m here I will glean all the learning I can from them all the while holding myself with patience, love and compassion. May we all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering, and may we all be happy and understand the root of happiness. So be it!