Tonight on the eve of New Year’s eve I offer more simple gratitude, the first from this morning:
“Today I am grateful for a nice hot cup of coffee (decaf, of course). It’s cold and rainy and gray out today, which made me appreciate the coffee even more. I had to come out to get y car serviced and rather than wait in the lounge at the dealership I walked across the street to the restaurant where I frequently have breakfast with my friend Mary. I have drunk very little coffee since I did the nutritional cleanse back in October. Apparently coffee–even decaffeinated–isn’t particularly good for you. But coffee has been a consistent part of my morning routine since I was a child. So when I do drink it, I try to savor every drop.
I guess as I think about it more, coffee is comforting for me. It connects me with my mother, with whom I shared many, many cups (gallons?) over the years. When I was about five years old my mom would prepare a cup of coffee that consisted of about 75 to 80% milk and sugar, with a little coffee thrown in. She likewise drank her coffee very light and very sweet. As I got older I reduced the sugar to none, but still drink it light to this very day. My dad used to rise very early in the morning and fix coffee for the two of them–a ritual that continued until her death in 1995 When I visited him, he would make coffee for me.” Like my mother before me, I introduced my children to coffee when they were little. It was a kind of bonding ritual for us as well. I remember well during my years as a single mom those Saturday mornings when my daughter would bring me my first cup of coffee of the morning. Interesting how such a simple thing as a cup of coffee carries with it such deep connections and associations. I am grateful that such a simple pleasure brings about a simple gratitude today.
Today has been an interesting day, one in which my emotions ran the gamut from stressed and anxious to sad and weepy to calm and reflective. So, I reckon it’s been kind of an average day! Tomorrow I hope to spend a little time thinking about what I am letting go of from 2011. I’ll likely write about it in tomorrow evening’s blog. I will not be sad to see the end of 2011, but I am also going to be sure to reflect on the positive: things I’ve learned, ways I’ve grown, and how I’ve managed to make it through this challenging year. No matter how difficult things have been–and I still have challenges in the days and weeks ahead–I can look back and say with some satisfaction that I am still standing, relatively unscathed, with my wits about me and, as the poem Invictus states, “my head is bloody, but unbowed.” Yep, I’m still standing, though sometimes on wobbly legs, and when I’ve been knocked down, I’ve managed to get back up. Gratitude has been one of those foundations on which I’ve stood when the gales of misfortune have threatened to blow everything down around me. And while I have had a grateful heart for much of my life, it has never been clearer to me than it’s been this past year what an essential role gratitude plays in my life. I look forward to continuing to give thanks as I enter into 2012.
