Lessons in Gratitude Day 18

This morning I stood in the shower grateful for the warm water that I have access to at the turn of a knob. I was keenly aware that there are many, many people across this country for whom that isn’t true. I got dressed this morning choosing from among a large variety of clothes, even though my need to do laundry had diminished what I had to choose from. I pulled on some comfy sweats and t-shirt, athletic socks and old sneakers. Beyond doing laundry, I had made no real plans for the day. And, as of this writing, I’ve accomplished exactly what I set out to do.

I found myself in an interesting zen-like space as I was folding laundry earlier today. It was enjoyable for reasons I cannot really name. Today has not been a day of monumental accomplishments or deep revelations. It’s mostly been about mundane things. I swept floors, cleaned up the kitchen, fixed lunch for my son and me, I fed the dog. I sent some e-mails, I surfed the web looking at ideas for a website I’m working on…all pretty regular things. And at this moment, at this hour (it’s a bit after 4 o’clock here–I usually write this blog around 9 p.m.) I am content.

Content is pretty darn good. There have been times lately when my mood has been indigo blue and sometimes gaining the momentum to do anything has felt herculean. So I am definitely enjoying the feeling of being content with where I am and what’s happening right now. I am not obsessing over how long this feeling of contentment will be with me (and when the indigo might be back). I am enjoying this moment right now and thinking only about the next moment. I will in a little while contemplate whether or not I will go out to visit a church I go to periodically, as that will require me to move from this place. Perhaps I will take a nap so I won’t be so tired when I have to go pick my son up from his job at 11 p.m. Perhaps I’ll read more of the book I’m reading about dealing with depression through mindfulness. Or perhaps I’ll just sit here.

There’s that oft quoted  saying attributed to some zen master or other philosopher, “don’t just do something, stand there!” Depending on who’s using the quote it’s often said to encourage us to stop our endless running around doing stuff and move toward doing nothing. Not being lazy and unmotivated, which most people incorrectly equate with doing nothing; but enjoying calm and quiet and content moments without care, worry, or frenzy. I would love to get better at doing nothing–even in  the midst of being unemployed and all of the pressure to find a job, get income to take care of my responsibilities, and all those things I should be concerned about, I am content at this moment to do nothing. And I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.