I am grateful this evening for revelations. I’ve been learning a lot during my morning writing practice things about myself that I perhaps don’t often give voice to. This morning when I was writing I recognized another limiting belief that I hold about myself. Limiting beliefs are those thoughts we have about ourselves that hold us back from being who we truly can be or accomplishing the great things we were meant to achieve. Over the past few months I’ve uncovered a couple of really fundamental beliefs I’ve held about myself that have caused me to live a much smaller, more confined life than I am meant to live. And while the revelations are sometimes difficult or unpleasant to live with, it’s much better for me to know what’s lingering there so I can better know how to deal with it.
Life has been incredibly stressful the past several weeks. It wasn’t easy for much of 2011, but it feels like the pressure keeps ratcheting up a little each day. Interestingly, and much to my relief and immense gratitude, somehow strength, courage and grace continue to show up in just enough measure that I manage to keep from complete decompensation. And in spite of my periodic rants about how God has forgotten about me, I find that when I could be completely freaked out about how life is unfolding at the moment, I somehow manage to remain calm. I attribute that to a Divine Presence in my life, because I’m pretty sure I couldn’t pull that off on my own.
Tonight I am truly tired–still exhausted from yesterday’s 4 a.m. jaunt to the airport and a long day ending with picking Jared up from work after 11 p.m. I “overslept” this morning until around 6:30, which only about a month ago I considered waking early. So I will offer a few basic, simple items of gratitude. I am grateful for the rain we’ve gotten over the past 36 hours or so. We’ve been so terribly dry here, that any precipitation is welcome. We’re still well below normal, but the past day’s rains should green up the hills around here for a little while anyway. Water is something we so take for granted in many parts of this country. I am grateful to have easy access to relatively clean and safe water. I turn on the faucet and water comes out of it. Just like I flip the switch and the lights go on. I do it dozens of times per day and rarely think about it. I am grateful for all the amenities that I enjoy in so many areas of my life. As tough a struggle as I’ve had financially in recent months, I still would be considered rich in many other places around the world.
I am nodding off at the keyboard, so I will close while I’m still relatively coherent. I am grateful for this bumpy ride I’m on, and while I would love for things to get easier and increasingly better, I will be present with what is reality for now and keep moving one foot in front of the other. May I know happiness and the root of happiness. So may we all.
