Lessons in Gratitude Day 531

Posted on December 26, 2012 by mtchamblee

It feels like it’s been a long day, though I wasn’t at work and really didn’t have much to do today. I think it is post-Christmas let-down. My daughter and I spent a semi-lazy morning before going out for lunch then heading to the airport where I would put her on a plane back West. Was she really here for almost three weeks? Of course she spent the first week she was here laid up sick with strep throat, then the rest of her visit went so fast we could scarcely believe it was over. Although the time felt short, I am glad to have had her with me over these days. She was able to spend time in my house, reconnect with the dog, come to work with me, spend time with her aunties, and see first hand where I have settled and that I am alright. I am grateful for that.

Tomorrow will be a relatively quiet day. After all the hubbub of the holidays the sudden return to relative solitude will probably feel a little odd at first. I have some cleaning and organizing to do–my office is still laden with boxes and my desktop is a mess. In the process of getting the spare room ready for Michal’s habitation, I hastily tossed a number of things into my office. Now both rooms are messy and in need of serious straightening and dejunking. I have a lot of things I need to put in order as the year ends and 2013 begins. But I have to laugh somewhat ruefully as I write this because part of me wants to spend the next few days doing absolutely nothing.

I am grateful for these next few days when I don’t have to go to work. While there are plenty of things I could be doing and an even larger number of things I should be doing, the possibility remains that, for tomorrow at least, I won’t do any of them. Not a single one. We shall see. I’ve spent the better part of my life doing the right thing, doing what I was supposed to do, doing what was expected of me. And for the most part that has been a good thing. Still, I am grateful for those times when I haven’t lived my life by the shoulds and have instead listened to the distant beat of my own drummer and done my own thing. It hasn’t always been easy, and there have been consequences when I’ve chosen to go my own way in opposition to conventional wisdom. But I know that these are all threads woven throughout the tapestry of my life; to remove one thread is to change the richness of my life. Each thread adds it’s own color and texture to the pattern of my life, it is vibrant and dynamic.

So I look forward to the next few days. I hope to balance my need to get some constructive and practical things done with my desire to do something whimsical and fun like putting together my race car set that hasn’t been out of the box in a few years and zipping  the cars around the track. Or perhaps I’ll get out one of the jigsaw puzzles I’ve had for years and have never finished putting together. Or, I’ll work on my novel. The possibilities are so many that it would be easy to get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. That would be quite sad and I’m determined to get to the end of my holiday break from work and say, “Wow, I’m glad I did that. It was fun.” We’ll see how it goes. I’ll be sure to report back.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 530

Posted on December 25, 2012 by mtchamblee

I woke this morning listening to the somewhat unexpected sound of birds singing. It sounded much more like a midsummer morning than early winter, but the sun was out and the sky was blue and the birds were happy. I took Honor for her morning walk, each of us reveling in the bright, brisk morning. In addition to the shrieks of the local Blue Jays (not to be confused with the “Eep!” of the Western Scrub Jay I was so fond of back in California) I heard a big, bold-sounding bird call. I squinted up into the trees looking for it, half expecting to see a Cardinal, though I knew that wasn’t it. All I saw was a brief glimpse of a tiny little bird (tiny to have such a big voice.) And I determined that I have to figure out what it is. People who read this blog last summer might recall my quest to discover the identity of the shrieking bird that used to trill and shriek outside my window at five in the morning throughout most of the late spring and summer.

I am a bird aficionado, though I would not consider myself an avid birdwatcher. I do not know all the birds and their calls and migrating patterns and such, but I enjoy the bits that I do know and love listening to the songs and identifying the creature that’s singing them. Having moved across the country in the fall, I am anxious to learn more about the winter and spring birds in the area. One might consider birdwatching a strange thing to be writing about on Christmas night, and perhaps it is. But among the many things for which I am grateful on a regular basis, my love of nature and the fauna and flora that grace the world around us is high on the list.

Christmas day was a bit hectic what with food preparations and such. It felt like much of the late afternoon was spent preparing food, eating it, and cleaning up afterward. Once all the eating was done, there was little energy for much else, though we did make time for a Skype call with my brothers and their families all gathered at my one brother’s house. There was too much pandemonium on both ends to see or really hear very well who was talking to whom at any given time. But it was nice to see all the faces. I realized how much I missed the other half of the family, and my son, all the way back in San Francisco had to work last night and tonight and wouldn’t have all the good foods associated with our family Christmases. I probably missed him most.

Holidays, especially Christmas has been important in our family for my entire life. I am a soft-hearted romantic and deeply attached to my family. If it were up to me we’d be together for every Christmas no matter how old we get and how far apart we live. My dream has always been to have a big farm where all the family could gather (and live there if they wanted to…it was a really big farm) each year for Christmas. Perhaps some day. In the meantime, I am grateful for my little house with the bird feeders set up and ready to attract some new friends. May it be so!

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 529

Posted on December 24, 2012 by mtchamblee

How did it get to be Christmas Eve? One minute it was Thanksgiving and the next it was Christmas Eve. Wait, I’m not ready for Christmas yet. Alas, there’s nothing for it but to surrender, hold out my hands and give up. Tonight I am feeling a little about Christmas like I do sometimes about Thanksgiving: once it’s over, life goes back to “normal” in a hurry. I’m not sure if there really is “peace on Earth, good will toward men,” at Christmas time–I certainly didn’t see a lot of that at the mall earlier this week, or in the ways some drivers treated one another on the beltway or city streets. We spend time with family, with folks sometimes suspending squabbles between themselves and others, sometimes not. By and large we gather in groups, exchange gifts, eat a lot, watch sports on television, play games, and cram amazing amount of activity into a single 24 to 36 hour period. Then it’s back to business as usual.

The other night I was out late walking the dog. It was a clear, cold night. The stars and moon were bright in the heavens and I found myself thinking about Christmas night and the story of the first Christmas the way it’s been told for 2,000 plus years. It was cold and clear and late that night. The stars and planets were shining, and back then before there was all the light pollution from city and street lights the heavens must have been ablaze with stars and all kinds of  heavenly bodies. What must it have been like to have been one of the shepherds minding their flocks (and no doubt their own business) when suddenly there’s all this uproar about a king being born and angels appearing–though I hardly think they knew what to make of the “heavenly host” that showed up to let them know what was happening.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be minding one’s “flock,” tending to whatever matters you’re responsible for and suddenly an angel or spirit appears to you announcing an event of great significance (like an angel would show up with a heavenly host to do something mundane, right?) If it were a simple message, “Run, come see this newborn king,” I could probably pull myself together enough to come take a look, perhaps participate in the event. How cool that would be.

And what would it be like to be like the young woman who was minding her own business when the angel appeared to her announcing that some amazing things would happen to her and from that she would bear and raise one of the most famous, wondrous, controversial, remarkable people in the history of the planet? How does one respond to that news? What is the equivalent in today’s world? How often do angels show up and tell us anything anymore? Do we listen? It’s been said that angels walk among us without our awareness. How do they deliver messages these days when they could easily be drowned out by all the technology and “noise” in the very air around us?

My guess is that the Word comes to us in many sweet and unexpected ways. When I walk the dog at night, cold and clear, and look up into the heavens and watch Jupiter and Orion and the moon and stars and planets dance their way across the heavens, I swear I hear God speaking to me. When the wind whispers through the trees and grasses, I can close my eyes and sense the presence of God. I’m not sure that angels pop up to tell me things, though I would not be surprised if they did. I’m not sure if I’d be scared and fall on my face as some were said to have done, though I guess it would depend on how they showed up and what they had to tell me. I’d like to think I’d keep my cool.

I am grateful for the messengers of God in whatever forms they take. I am grateful for this Christmas Eve, though I am not “ready” for Christmas in the commercial sense of the word. But I am ready for what Christmas represents: the coming of “god with us,” the divine spark. Would that it would transform the world beyond the mundane routines of life, even as it did those millennia ago while the shepherds and other folk were out minding their own business. May it truly be so.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 528

Posted on December 23, 2012 by mtchamblee

I have become a broken record. Every day I am grateful for the same things. Perhaps after 527 days of writing I no longer have anything new to say. When I think about the things for which I am most grateful, I keep coming back to the same thing: the love of family and friends. While there are many other things for which I am grateful, my family ranks far above most of them. As the Christmas holiday draws closer I am thinking about my family members here and elsewhere. We are more scattered than we have been in a long time: my son is out in California, while my daughter, two of my sisters and I are in Maryland, my brothers and their families are in Indiana, and my eldest sister and her family are in Massachusetts.

I also find myself missing my parents, this is the third  Christmas without my father and the 17th without my mother. They each in their own ways enjoyed the holidays but for them both being surrounded by family was important. I realize that some of the pangs I’ve been feeling are arising from my sense of incompleteness at not being together with all my family–my siblings and both of my children. At the same time I am grateful to have spent so many Christmases with all of my family together. Because we do not know what tomorrow brings, it is so important that we savor and treasure the times we spend in the company of much loved family and of friends who are as close as family.

The gift of technology means that I will be able to talk with my siblings and their families face to face, using some form of video chat. If I manage to set it up, we might all be able to connect at the same time–Jared in California, my brothers in Indiana and my sister and her family in Massachusetts with all of us here in Maryland. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to pull it off, but it’s definitely worth trying.

I am grateful for the times I am spending with my sisters and my daughter this week. Even the pangs of missing folks are eased by the smiles and laughter of connecting with those who are near. I only have a few more days with Michal here before she heads back toward school. It’s been nice having her here and I miss her already. But I plan on thoroughly enjoying the next couple of days while she’s here. Yep, I might sound like a broken record when I write so frequently about how grateful I am for my family. But I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I weren’t writing about them.  May they always remain at the top of my gratitude list. So be it!

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 527

Posted on December 22, 2012 by mtchamblee

Nearly every day and sometimes several times I recite the phrase: “This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.” (It comes from psalm 118, verse 24.) I can’t help it–it’s just sort of there, all the time, every day, a regular part of my life. Rarely in these 500+ days that I’ve written this blog have I spoken directly about the Bible or religion. I’ve written quite a bit about spirituality and talk frequently about God, primarily in a broad sense. But having spent my early life in church and immersed myself for a decade of my young adult life in a fundamentalist Christian church, traces of that past life linger. I actually believe the best parts of those days remain with me and have been integrated into my larger spiritual life.

The impact of this is that there is not a single day that goes by when I don’t say the words “Thank you, God” at least once. Gratitude has been part of my life for all of my life; though it’s only in the last eighteen months that I have been intentional in writing and speaking about it on a regular basis. My belief in a power higher than myself and my thankfulness for the many blessing in my life are connected, inextricably linked one to the other.

I am grateful to have a spiritual life, one of constant prayer and frequent reflection. It’s quite possible that you can’t tell this from looking at me; I don’t appear to be particularly pious and can be ill-tempered and foul-mouthed in ways that one would not associate with a spiritual being. I am working on all those things, but still have a long way to go toward being the kind of person who remains tranquil and calm under the most trying circumstances, is compassionate and loving toward the most difficult people, and smiles. I almost have that last one down pat. I try to live as best I can as a compassionate, patient, loving, forgiving, caring human being. I often fall short but it is not from lack of effort. I figure that faith and spirituality is like a muscle, if you exercise it, it gets stronger, if you don’t it atrophies and remains weak.

So every day when I wake I reach out to God. Throughout the course of my day I remain in constant conversation with God. At the end of the day as I am winding down, I express my gratitude for the blessings in my life and connect with God before I take my rest. My life is not magically easy for doing this each day, but it is good.  Faith in God is not something I necessarily share openly with people around me; I tend to be private with those kinds of things that tend to be misunderstood. I try to let my life speak by trying to keep my heart and mind open and operating with as much integrity as I can. I fail. I make mistakes and fall down. But I get back up, try to learn from my mistakes and keep at it. It is the only way I know how to be until I learn a better way.

I am grateful for this journey. I wouldn’t trade it, though sometimes it seems like it would be easy to cut corners or give up and let go. But no, I’m onto something with this gratitude thing and all the other corollaries that go along with it. I think I’m gonna do as the old song says, “I believe I’ll run on and see what the end’s gonna be.” And so I shall.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 526

Posted on December 21, 2012 by mtchamblee

I must confess that I am a humbug. Today for the first time in years I went to a mall to go Christmas shopping. Because of the hectic pace of the past few months, I lost track of the time to do my usual organized, online shopping and was thus reduced to having to go to the mall. I live a five-minute drive from a mall, so transportation was no issue; it took me longer to find parking than it did to drive there in the first place. And even though I went in early afternoon (before 2 p.m.) there was traffic congestion and terrible parking and the stores were packed. I found myself cranky and ill-tempered as I trudged through the stores looking for the narrowly defined items on my person’s pitiful shopping list. So I shopped for about an hour and a half before heading back home briefly. I then spent a few hours of my late afternoon helping my sister get some things organized at her house in preparation for decorating their tree and decking their halls.

I am grateful this evening for time off. As I wrote yesterday I am looking forward to some time gathering with family and for some time for quiet reflection by myself. Mostly I need to rest and contemplate changes that I need to make in how I care for myself. This is the time of year when people reflect back on the year past and look ahead to the coming year. I’m not sure how much I’ll look back, but I do want to spend a little time considering how I want 2013 to unfold. There are definitely certain things I want to accomplish and achieve in my life, as well as conditions and circumstances I want to create for myself in the months ahead. I will likely spend some time writing out some goals and expectations for the coming year.

Expressing gratitude for the many blessings in my life is also likely to remain an important part of my life, though how I go about expressing it–publicly through this blog or other writing–or privately might change. We shall see. One thing I’ve learned from the intentional focus on what I’m grateful for is that the more I acknowledge the blessings in my life, the more blessings I discover. And while that is not my motivation for why I write this blog each day, it is certainly a pleasant side effect.

Tonight I have fallen asleep several times as I’ve written, so it is time for me to sign off and get some rest. I appreciate all those who look in and read these daily writings. I hope you continue to be inspired to look for the blessings in your life and offer a word of thanks. It is a wonderful way to engage the world around you. Peace to you all.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 525

Posted on December 20, 2012 by mtchamblee

Today has been a really good day start to finish. I am grateful for that, particularly as we wrapped up the work week and are now headed into a two-week holiday break. It’s coming in the nick of time. My mind has been overtaxed in recent days and I haven’t taken particularly good care of myself, so the upcoming break is much needed. But I am grateful for a number of simple blessings today. First of all I was excited that my daughter decided to come back to work with me today. At one point she’d thought about staying home today, but popped up this morning and said she would join me again today. It was a small thing, but made me very happy, and other than a couple of moments of crankiness, we had a good drive down to work.

The work day was relaxed and laid back. At the office we launched into a spontaneous bit of team building centered around personality types. We learned a lot about one another and talked about the implications of what we were learning for the way we go about doing our work on a daily basis. I left the impromptu professional development meeting with an even deeper appreciation for the people I work with–their passion, dedication to the work, and mutual appreciation and respect for each other. I am grateful to be working with a group of really good people. We ate pizza, we shared ideas and thoughts about how to work together as a team, and best of all, we connected and enjoyed one another’s company. I can’t think of a better way to build camaraderie than learning and growing together. It was a very good thing.

Michal and I also laughed a lot today, both at the office and once we got home this evening. She found a couple of very funny videos of people doing silly, outrageous things that were ridiculous to the point of being hilarious. I laughed so hard at points that tears were streaming down my face. I can’t remember that last time I laughed so hard; and the fact that I was sharing in the laughter with my daughter made it that much sweeter and funnier. I got almost as much pleasure from watching her laugh at the videos that from the videos themselves. It just doesn’t get much better than that.

Tonight as I write I am listening to the sound of rain pelting against the side of the house. My wind chimes that I hung a few weeks ago are tinkling in the breeze and the sounds of a wet winter night abound. Tomorrow is the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year in this part of the world. These days bring with the a time of introspection and quiet reflection. I am looking forward to having the space to do this, part of the time connected to family and the other time in solitary reflection. I am grateful for and anticipating much needed quiet time. May these days indeed be merry and bright, as was today. May they continue to be so as the year that was 2012 winds down and the new year gears up. So be it!

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 524

Posted on December 19, 2012 by mtchamblee

Sometimes I miss good, old fashioned letters. Every day I go to my mailbox, lift the flap and feel around for mail. Most days there’s something in there and 99 percent of the time it’s either junk mail, coupons, cards asking me to donate clothing and furniture, or mail addressed to somebody else. The other day there was a Christmas card in there, but it wasn’t meant for me but for the previous tenant. I have been meaning to write a nice long email to a friend of mine back in California, but haven’t quite gotten around to it. My hope is that over the holiday break I’ll do that. I don’t even get personal emails. “If you want someone to write to you, write them first,” my mother advised me when I was much younger. So I will have to take her up on that idea. This, however, has nothing whatever to do with my thoughts on gratitude this evening.

I am writing much later tonight than usual, so I plan to be brief. I am grateful for having spent a lovely evening having dinner with my eldest sister and her husband and my daughter. It was a quiet, enjoyable meal with them, and was the first and only time Michal will be able to visit with them during the holidays this year. I am continually grateful for the reminder of how wonderful it is to spend time with family. This reminder is important because every day when I climb into my car for the commute home I have to remember why I moved 26.5 miles away from where I work. “Oh yes,” I say to myself after I’ve spent time with one of my sisters, “Now I remember why I live way over here and work way over there.”

I am grateful for traveling mercies. Tonight Michal was with me at work, so was able to once again enjoy the evening commute with me. At one point when I was changing lanes she informed me that I’d come close to hitting another car. I am relieved to have missed it but was cranky for much of the rest of the drive home. In spite of my crankiness I am grateful for the all miles I’ve driven and the hours I’ve spent in the car over the few months I’ve lived here and even back in California. Every morning I write in my journal as part of a daily practice the words of lovingkindness meditation, including the line, “May I be safe and protected from harm.” I take this quite seriously and do not take this for granted.

As I close tonight, I share a few of the other well wishes I offer each morning:

May I be filled with lovingkindness and compassion.
May I be peaceful and happy.
May I be safe and protected from harm.
May I be healthy and strong in my body, mind, and spirit.
May I live with joy, ease, and wellbeing.
May I experience the arising and passing of all things with equanimity and balance.
May it be so for me and my loved ones. May it be so for my acquaintances and for people with whom I struggle (my “enemies”). May it be so for all beings.
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Lessons in Gratitude Day 523

Posted on December 18, 2012 by mtchamblee

Often during the course of the day I come across things I am grateful for. “Oh,” I think to myself, “I’ll write about that in my blog when I get home tonight.” Then of course by the time I make the 90-minute commute and go about the business of the evening I have long forgotten the things over the course of the day that I was going to write about. By the time I sit down at the computer at night, my mind is often weary from the day’s work and activities and I sometimes have a hard time focusing on what I want to say. But I guess what I want to start with this evening is that I am grateful that I am conscious and aware enough over the course of the day of the many things that bless my life on a constant, ongoing basis. I might not remember it at the end of the day, but I try to take time to acknowledge these things in real time.

This evening as I was leaving the building where I work, I looked up into the darkening sky where a bright celestial body hanging in the Eastern sky. I believe it to be Jupiter, shining brightly in the heavens. “Star light, star bright, first star I’ve seen tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight.” I recited looking at the “star” as I walked toward my car. I did make a wish, then chided myself for it being too simplistic and a bit selfish, asking for financial security. I shifted to asking God to bless and keep my family safe and well. That seemed a little less selfish. I continued praying as I walked to my car, not so much in the way of making requests as in talking to God. I do that a lot, talk to God. Sometimes I know what I am saying, sometimes I do not. What I do know is that my heart reaches out toward the divine without effort; it is totally natural for me to pray.

I am not a religious person from a doctrinal/dogmatic perspective; but I am a deep believer in a power, a force greater than me that both dwells within and exists outside of me. I believe a lot of things about this being, who for purposes of simplicity I will refer to a “God.” I know that when I consider the beauty and the goodness around me–in nature, in people, in circumstances and situations, I express my gratitude for those things. It is not something I sit and plan, it comes forth naturally, and may it always be so. So as I walk through the course of any given day, I frequently encounter things for which I express my gratitude and thankfulness. Almost nothing is so mundane that it escapes notice or for which I cannot express appreciation. Such is the way of things: the more I look around me and see the blessings in my life for which I am grateful, the more things I see that I am grateful for. Gratitude begets more to be grateful for. I am seeing this in my daily life. May it always be so.

Today has been a good day. I am tired, but for the most part it is a good kind of tired. I am grateful for the people with whom I am working and for the work I’m doing. It is good, important, if difficult work. Somedays I long for the simplicity of being a farmer, living out in the country living off of living on the land. I look forward to not having to listen to the traffic reports on the radio and sitting in traffic. But that is where I am at the moment and I am grateful to be working and contributing my gifts and energy in service to humanity. From where I stand, this is a very good thing.

I look forward to a new day tomorrow, filled with possibilities and promise. Tonight, I will take my rest offering gratitude and prayers for this day just past. All is well and all shall be well. May it be so.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 522

Posted on December 17, 2012 by mtchamblee

Tonight I am so tired I can hardly see straight. Last night I had a hard time getting to sleep, and as often happens that meant that I was tireder today than I’m comfortable being. The 90-minute commute home–part of which was during rain and fog–was as tiring as usual. It was nice in the sense that I had company for the trip: my daughter came with me to work today. It was nice to have the company for the drive home, we listened to old school R&B music and sang along to keep ourselves from acknowledging how tired we were. Once again, traveling mercies were with me and we arrived home safe and sound. I do not take this for granted; I am grateful every time I back into my driveway at home.

This is one of those nights when I look at the blinking cursor trying to sort through the random thoughts in my head, filter through the various ideas floating around in there and hope that something coherent comes out onto the screen. I’m not sure I’m feeing terribly confident about that. So I will offer simple gratitude and then tuck myself into bed.

I am grateful for the opportunity I had today to take my daughter with me to work. I have taken her with me many times over the years; as a child she accompanied me to my various offices at the universities I worked for. She came with me to meetings, to classes and presentations. She interacted with my students and coworkers, hung out at university farms, classrooms, cafeterias and offices. She had a well-rounded exposure to college campuses and today she visited with me as a first year graduate student pursuing a degree and a career working in higher education. It has been fun to watch her interest grow and to listen to her ideas and the things she’s learning about higher education, student development and all kinds of cool things I never studied. I’m looking forward to learning from her as she continues in the field.

It’s an interesting (and good) feeling to see the positive impact some aspect of my life has had on each of my children. As a youngster my son was always interested in all things musical. He showed interest and aptitude in all kinds of instruments and over the years I’ve done my best to foster this love by investing in all kinds of musical equipment over the years. He has become a very talented and skilled multi-instrument musician. One of these days he’ll hit it big with his music. He, my daughter and I played together when they were younger. It is one wonderful gift and pastime we each share: Michal a talented singer-songwriter in her own right and Jared not only playing instruments but recording complex pieces using his computer, piano, guitar and an assortment of microphones and other equipment. While I might not win awards for my excellence in parenting, I did a few things right, particularly in encouraging them to pursue their passions. One of these days, that will more than pay off for them.

I am looking forward to the upcoming holiday break that starts on Friday. I’ll be off work for about two weeks. I feel like I’ve been going nonstop for the past few months, so the break will be much appreciated.  I am grateful to be working, and will be grateful for the break to spend some quality time with my daughter and my sisters. Somewhere in there I hope to work in a little music. For tonight, however, I’m turning in so I can be more present at work tomorrow. May it be so.

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