What an excellent day!
Yes, it was Blue Friday, but somehow the shade never deepened any darker than a lovely sky blue. I did some of my usual Friday stuff–coaching in the morning, walking in Chavez park in the afternoon (where the sky was a lovely shade of blue and the water of the Bay was a greeny color.) I spent the late afternoon with my friend Eytan, whom I hadn’t seen in many months, not since before my life drama ensued. So there was a lot of catching up to do–mostly me talking to him about how life has been and hearing a bit from him about things in his life. He had helpful thoughts to offer on my job search and even gave me a quickie lesson on using Twitter and other tech tools. Our time together was easy and it was fun. I was grateful to him for having reached out to me inviting me to reconnect. If he hadn’t I’m not sure how many more months I would have allowed to go by without checking in with him and his wife and family.
I need to remember that people don’t stop caring just because you don’t see them as much as you used to. Sometimes when I’ve allowed myself to get isolated–no longer visiting the old neighborhood and not going in to work every day–I forget that many of the people with whom I used to interact regularly do think of me periodically and wonder how I am doing. It behooves me to do a little more reaching out rather than waiting to be reached out to. In times of isolation I tell myself stories about why I don’t hear from people or that people aren’t interested in hearing from me–like it would somehow be bothering them if I were to call or make contact. Silly. But the mind in isolation is oh so talented in making things up. And mine seems to be incredibly gifted in this area.
I find myself once again grateful for the gift of time. I remember at some point last year wishing I had more time to write, more time to think, more time to do lots of things. While I wouldn’t have wished to gain this gift in the way that I did, I nevertheless want to make the best possible use of it while I have it. So that means more writing, more thinking, more reading, more walking, and more reaching out to friends, even as I continue reconstructing and distributing my resume, repackaging my skills, and yes, unpacking more boxes.
This evening I headed out to the airport to pick my daughter up from her summer internship from out of state. Although the drive to the airport in Friday night rush hour traffic was a bit grim, I was so happy to see her when I finally got there. I realized how much I’ve missed her over the months she’s been gone and am looking forward to the next brief few days we have together before I help her move back up to school for her senior year. Senior year already. I find myself getting a little sentimental when I think about how much she’s grown up over these past few years. Again, thinking of the gift of time in a slightly different way, I am aware of how little I have with her and how that will grow even smaller in the weeks and months to come. But as I am cultivating the notion of living in the moment, I’ll enjoy the time she’s here and let the weeks and months to come take care of themselves.
Blue Friday? Not so blue today after all.
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