How often I’ve heard myself say, “I want to know my life purpose. Why am I here on the planet in this place at this time? Tell me!” I would ask God impatiently, somehow assuming that I wasn’t already living my life purpose, that I wasn’t already doing what I was put here on the planet to do. Somehow I managed to convince myself that whatever it is I’m supposed to be doing (according to whom?) it must be something grand and of great importance and significant in order for it to matter. I am destined for greatness, aren’t I? It generally has not been about achieving fame, I don’t think (though the fortune part of fame and fortune does have some appeal). It has been about having life’s work that represents something, some level of achievement, accomplishment that lets me and the rest of the world know I’ve done something worthwhile.
As I sit here this evening I realize what a trap it is to be constantly looking for something that quite possibly doesn’t exist. While I’ve been trying to sort out what I should be doing, it’s starting to dawn on me that I’m already doing it. Like many people I’ve spent time thinking about how I can contribute to making the world a better place. I want to make a difference in the world and all those other kinds of Miss America-esque platitudes. Somehow along the way I got a very skewed sense of what that might look like and just this evening, I took another clarifying step toward understanding that I’ve been making a difference, doing what I’m supposed to be doing, living out my calling. It’s simply happened in such a quiet, understated way that I haven’t recognized it.
Anyone who has read this blog on a semi-regular basis knows that I like metaphors as means to describe concepts. Gaining clarity on the matter of my calling is like looking at something under a microscope: at first it’s fuzzy and indistinct, you can see the edges of the thing you’re looking at, but not in detail. So you turn the coarse-focus knob to bring the object into some focus–closer and closer–and then use the fine-focus knob to bring it into sharp relief. It practically pops into view with amazing clarity and sharpness. My search for my life purpose has been a bit like that: I keep turning and turning and my purpose gets less and less fuzzy. The fundamental thing hasn’t changed–the object on the slide is the same when it’s first blurry and undefined as it is when it is sharply defined and clear. The only thing that’s changed is my vision, the clarity with which I am looking at it.
Tonight as I circled the computer preparing to settle into blog writing, I figured I’d spin the wheel to see which blog the random number generator would pick. I wasn’t sure I’d need to post a supplement to a previously written blog–I already thought about a potential topic–but figured I’d take a turn with the RNG and see what popped up. As I read the old post I received the next slight turn of the fine-focus knob that sharpened my vision enough to recognize that I’ve been walking in my purpose for a long time. The blog was about how I’d responded to a friend who needed a listening ear from me, a shoulder to cry on, and as I read it I had a serious “Ah Ha!” moment alerting me that I was about to get some real clarity.
And so I now know or am clearer about two things. First, it’s alright to not know or be able to describe exactly what your life purpose is, as long as you’re living it. My oft-repeated quote applies “To find out what one is fitted to do and to secure the opportunity to do it is the key to happiness.” I have been growing into what I am “fitted to do” and have been doing it for a very, very long time. It simply didn’t come in the package I was expecting. I’m grateful that I have not spent my entire life in discontent, feeling out of alignment with my life purpose. I’d simply been missing the cues. Second, the difference I make in the world doesn’t happen on a grand stage or in the public eye. It happens mostly in one-on-one conversations, one individual or small group of individuals at a time. People like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Oprah and Ghandi and Jesus and those kind of people affect millions, hundreds of millions of people over the course of their lifetimes and beyond. The rest of us have much smaller but no less important spheres of influence.
I’m still turning the fine adjustment knob on my life microscope–things aren’t crystal clear yet–but I am grateful for the clarity I’m receiving and what I’m learning. Life purpose doesn’t have to be this grand thing. It can be simple and beautiful and as natural to you as breathing. What is that for you? Put it under the microscope and take a look.
