I learned a few things today, which is a good thing. I believe we are each lifelong learners and that there’s not a single day that goes by when we don’t learn something new. We might not realize or acknowledge that we’ve learned something, but I can’t imagine a day when I haven’t.
Sometimes I learn in spite of myself. Tonight I was having a conversation with my son in which I found myself frustrated, defensive, resistant, reactive and a number of other things. What he was saying made sense at some level, but I couldn’t seem to get past some of the words, some of the way he said things, so I could actually hear and learn. At one point in the conversation we each gave up–he was determined to stop talking since obviously nothing was getting through and I was battling with my resistance to the point I was almost in tears. This was one of those times to push through, and I did. It took me a while to get to a place of understanding–not just of what he was trying to tell me, but also of understanding who he is and how he communicates. It was a wonderful “ah ha” moment for me at more levels than I am even conscious of at the moment.
I realize that I was resistant to both the message and the messenger. But the truth is, if I really want to learn the lessons that life has for me, especially during this time when I am asking the Universe for guidance, then I can’t afford to ignore where the message or lesson is coming from. My son said to me that if it were someone older or someone I perceived as wise (like Gandhi), then I would give more credence to the message than I was hearing it from him. There was probably some truth to this, but mostly I was resisting the simplicity of the message: There is always something additional you could be doing to affect your situation (I am paraphrasing here). Part of me revolted saying, “Nuh uh. I am doing everything I can and sometimes I don’t even know what I should be doing and, and and…”
The truth is I am not doing everything I can about anything. There really is always another something I could be doing. And sometimes I’m trying to do something about everything just to see what will stick. My mother used to say, “Do something even if it’s wrong!” In other words, even a “wrong” action is still taking action to change the situation; and for all I know it could be that “wrong” or wacky or seemingly random action that makes the sets in motion the very thing I needed to happen.
Some of the most important messages can come from the unlikeliest of sources, so it behooves me to pay attention even and especially to those things I am most resisting. Chances are pretty good that if I’m kicking up a fuss over something someone is saying to me there just might be a ring of truth to what they’re saying. These days I need all the guidance and messages I can get and God has enough of a sense of humor to make sure that the best ones will come from the wackiest places. (Not that my son is wacky, mind you.)
So tonight I am grateful that my son didn’t give up in trying to talk with me and that I didn’t let my own stubborn resistance keep me from listening. I can be as hard-headed as the next person, but slowly and surely I’m softening up. So many lessons I still need to learn. “The teacher will appear when the student is ready.” Tonight that teacher was Jared Jones. Thanks, son.
