Lessons in Gratitude Day 200

It seems important to acknowledge that I have been writing this blog for 200 straight days. Other than breathe, sleep, and other biological functions there haven’t been many things I’ve done for 200 straight days without interruption. I feel like I should have some sort of fanfare or special story or wisdom that I’ve been saving up for day 200, but I’m afraid tonight’s blog will simply be my usual fare–gratitude about something or another. And while I must confess a small bit of pleasure and pride at having been able to sustain a daily writing practice for this long, I am simply grateful that every day I’ve had something to say. Every day I have intentionally focused on the things in my life for which I am grateful. Some days those things have been profound and deeply significant, and others they have perhaps been silly and mundane in their simplicity. But whether profound or simple, significant or silly, I have been no less sincerely grateful for one or the other.

I mentioned that a week or so ago I downloaded and compiled the Lessons in Gratitude blogs days 1 through 180 into four documents. My intention in doing so was in part to see what I’d had to say in six months worth of writing during the second half of 2011. As I was thinking about what I’d written, I began to jot down themes that have threaded their way throughout the document. Among the broad categories of things I’m grateful for include: family and friends, nature (natural beauty, wildlife, etc.), music, volunteering, meditation, Buddhist teachings and other spiritual themes, reaching out to others, perseverance, asking for and receiving help, and being in the moment. Other themes speak to the day-t0-day challenges I’ve encountered on this journey: the job search, financial struggles, living without health insurance, depression, “blue” days. I suspect when I dig into reading the daily chronicle that was my life over the past seven months I’ll gain some insight from what’s written in black and white as well as what’s between the lines. I’m looking forward to the excavation as well as continuing to rest my attention on and blog about the things in my life for which I am grateful. They continue to be many.

On a related note I want to share about another form of documentation I kept through the last half of 2011. I realized with a start the other morning that I had recycled my monthly calendar from last year. I had been awake at my usual early time laying there trying to tame my thoughts so I could get back to sleep for one more hour when I thought about my 2011 calendar. Suddenly the memory of my tossing my calendar jolted me from my torpor and I jumped out of my bed to search in vain through the piles of papers and stacks of notebooks, journals, files etc. that cover my desk. I had thrown it into the recycling box and had, being ecologically efficient, gotten it into the bin in time for the folks to haul it away this past Wednesday. I wept. On that calendar–a free monthly wall calendar I’d received from a wildlife organization I’d given a donation to–I had written little notes to myself that chronicled various events in my life: the first day I volunteered at the Berkeley Food Pantry, my first visit to the East Bay Meditation Center, the first day of my 21-day guitar playing challenge, the dates of my nutritional cleanse.

Like this blog, that calendar was a record, a historical documenting of the year that was 2011. After a few moments of further lamentation, during which time I chided myself for all the other recyclable flotsam littering my desk that I could have chosen to toss instead of (or at least in addition to) my calendar, I did what I’ve done many times over the past months: I wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and got on with life. I realized that in the scheme of things tossing the calendar didn’t mean I was tossing away the experiences or memories of what I had undertaken from June through December of last year. Those things are etched into my mind, heart, and memory. All I’d lost was the written record scrawled in my scribbled handwriting on the too-small squares of a cheap calendar. I realized just a while ago that while I did indeed toss my 2011 calendar, I had–in uncharacteristically forward-thinking fashion recorded many of the same events on my Google calendar. I can easily reconstruct what’s not there, if I need to.

I am grateful for 200 days of sharing with you my gratitude for the many, many blessings in my life. I’ve shared personal stories of struggle and perseverance, humorous anecdotes about all manner of silly things, insights and wisdom I’ve gained along the way. I’ve often remarked that I wasn’t sure how long I would keep writing this blog on a daily basis; and I still don’t know. While the quantity and quality of things for which I am grateful for will only continue to grow, it remains to be seen how long my ability to coherently chronicle them for public consumption will last. I have a feeling it will continue for some time to come. Thank you for being with me on this journey. May you be filled with gratitude for the blessings in your life throughout this year and beyond. So be it!