Lessons in Gratitude Day 891

Posted on December 21, 2013 by mtchamblee
Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
by Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Tonight I was thinking about the last two lines of this poem, “and miles to go before I sleep,” because that’s how I’m feeling as I’m preparing to go “home for Christmas.” So many things to attend to, so little time. I suppose I could have been sleeping by now if I had done my work earlier, but my daughter and I chose instead to go have dinner with my sister Ruth and her family and exchange a few Christmas gifts, as they are not traveling this year. It was a lovely few hours that I suppose I could have spent in final pre-trip preparations, but chose instead a lovely meal, wonderful rollicking company (we played several rounds of a fun guessing game), and time well spent with with my much-loved sister and her family.

We came home–promises to keep and such–to finishing the decorating of the tree, cleaning up a few things, packing a few more items, and then settling down to write this blog. My eyes hurt and I am a bit tired, so I may not write as much as usual. Something about this night reminds me of getting ready to drive out of California when I moved here, except on that occasion I wrote my blog on my telephone because I had no wireless internet and had packed up my computer. I sat there in the dark at 3 a.m. typing a few sentences into my phone before heading off to sleep. Tonight I am doing a little bit better. Tomorrow morning I’ll rise at around 4 a.m., get myself together, have a quick cup of coffee and hopefully write a few lines in my morning journal before Michal and I join my sister Sandy and her husband for another road trip. I look forward to seeing everyone back home, though not sure I look forward to the 10-plus hours on the road. Still, the weather is supposed to cooperate and in that regard it’s all good.

I am grateful. It’s just that simple. For too many things to list, I am grateful. For poetry and song lyrics that pop into my head that describe just how I am feeling at just that moment, I am grateful. For all the I have left undone that I no longer have time or energy to do, I am grateful. For the gathering together of family here in DC and there in Indiana, for the love shared over meals and packages, time spent together in communion of heart and spirit, I am grateful. At the end of the day, life simply doesn’t get any better than that.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 890

Posted on December 20, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight I am once again taking the path of least resistance in writing this blog: I am going with simple gratitude. I am grateful today for having my daughter with me for the holidays. Now that she lives on the West Coast and I’m on the East Coast I see her about every six months; not nearly enough for my liking, but it is sort of how it is. We did a little Christmas shopping and bought a Christmas tree–both activities brought out the Scrooge in me. The longer we went, the crankier I got, which she endured mostly with good humor. Some of my crankiness can be attributed to exhaustion–it’s been a long, tiring stretch at work and I need the holiday break–but much of it is directly related to the season itself.

I used to love Christmas, especially the gathering of the family together each year. Except for the year my sister and our parents and I lived in Uganda (1972) the year my brother was in the Marines (1975) we all gathered–my parents and the six of us kids–each year, either back “home” in Indiana, or out in Washington, DC where my older sisters live. As the years passed and various ones of us got married and had children, the gatherings got bigger, noisier, more boisterous and more expensive, impractical, and inconvenient from a travel perspective. Still for the most part, most of us managed to get together each year. But in my mind our family gathering began to lose steam when my mother died in 1995 and completely came apart after my father died in 2010. In many ways Mom was the glue that held us together, and while we still gathered each year, the energy and spirit of the season had changed; something had been lost.

My siblings may not agree with me on any of this, and indeed it is simply my perspective. Most of us would say that we are family oriented, and this is probably true. But while my energy has been focused on the larger extended family, for some of my siblings their individual family units are their priority and the extended family is secondary. And as I think about it, this makes sense. I have the smallest individual unit in the family–me and my two kids; and when it comes to Christmas time, it has shrunk down to me and my daughter. With my son living nearly 2900 miles away in California and working a job that doesn’t allow him holidays off, this is the second consecutive Christmas that I have spent without him. So I think about family gatherings as being larger than my daughter and me. This year, four of the six siblings will spend the holiday together, hanging out, playing games, seeing movies. Two years ago was the last time all six of us gathered with the usual mayhem and pandemonium that happens whenever you get that many people together in one place. It was a blast, and although 2011 was a very difficult year for me, I was able to put all the drama aside and have a good time with my siblings.

I am grateful for family in whatever configurations I find them in. I’m looking forward to spending a few days with as many of them as we can muster. The more the merrier. I acknowledge that some of this for me is another opportunity to let go. No, things are no longer the way they used to be. It is time for me to let go of what was and embrace what is. Easy to say, more challenging to do. But I’m working at it even while I’m working on being less of a Grinch and more peaceful, calm and perhaps even a little joyful this holiday season. It is definitely a goal worth working toward. If I approach it with a grateful heart, I have no doubt I can achieve it. And that is a beautiful thing.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 889

Posted on December 20, 2013 by mtchamblee

I love the holidays for one primary reason: more than any other time of year it is one when families seem to want to come together. Tonight I enjoyed spending time with my oldest sister and her husband, two of her three daughters, her grandson, my brother’s daughter who lives in DC, and my daughter. There was a lot of laughter, loud talking about silly things (like scary movies), good food and fun. I was out much later than I usually am on a weeknight and as a result am writing this blog much later than usual. So potentially this will be yet another night when I fall asleep with my laptop on my lap midway through the writing. I have been so tired the last few weeks that falling asleep mid-sentence has been a fairly standard activity.

Late this afternoon I learned that my only remaining meeting of the day for tomorrow was canceled, which means I can work from home and essentially start my day a couple of hours later than I do during the week. I am totally grateful for that. I am grateful to be working. I endured a stretch of time being unemployed, underemployed, and partially employed. I didn’t feel like I was contributing the full range of skills and talents I have to making the world a better place and from a purely practical perspective I was struggling to making ends meet. As challenging as that period of time was, it was during that same time that I began volunteering at the local food pantry, that I began writing this blog, and that the freelance contract work that I was doing was actually helping to make the world a better place, though I didn’t appreciate that at the time. Once I became fully employed again, my time constraints have meant that I have little time to volunteer and my creative energy for blogging has declined a bit. Nevertheless I am grateful to be working and once again contributing my talents and gifts in meaningful work that assists and serves others.

Gratitude has been, to paraphrase Maya Angelou, “the pillow upon which I’ve knelt to say my nightly prayer.” Feeling deep gratitude and expressing it in multiple ways has been part of my genetic code for as long as I can remember. The other evening I wrote about happiness being hardwired into our genes, and that may be true; but gratitude, the sense of appreciation and thankfulness, is wired in there as well. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So yes, I am grateful to be working, and not simply working, but working at a decent job and doing relatively well all things considered. Because I work in higher education, it also means that when school is out, I am off on paid vacation. Different from working at a bank or other type of corporation or agency, working at a university allows me great flexibility, like having two weeks off and getting paid for it. I am deeply grateful for this time and plan to rest, do a little reading, and do some work. And as I wind down the writing of this blog (less than two weeks now), I’m planning to spend time pondering my “what’s next” specifically  in terms of how I will spend the time that I used to spend blogging. Though I have a few ideas I haven’t landed on anything specific yet. One thing I do know is that whether I blog about it or not, gratitude is part of my every day, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. And that is a good thing.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 888

Posted on December 18, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight I am offering gratitude for some very simple but noteworthy things. Sometimes I wonder if I have a particularly quirky personality given the kind of things that catch my attention, that make me smile or shake my head in wonder or make me think. I am glad and grateful to be exactly who I am, in all of my imperfections and wonderful, quirky, uniqueness. Here are a few things that caught my attention today:

  • I wear a hat every day. More often than not it is a wide-brimmed hat; I have a number of various types, ranging from Australian “outback” hats that keep my head dry when  it rains or snows, to straw “gambler”style hats, various felt fedoras, and many others. This morning I was wearing a brown, wide brimmed fedora of sorts and cruising to work as usual. When I got into town I pulled up behind a person driving a Smart Car–one of those tiny little two-seaters–and noticed the woman who was driving it was wearing a broad-brimmed hat like mine. I was like, “Cool!” and nodded my approval. She happened to look in her rearview mirror just as I was looking at her. I pointed at her and tipped my hat, smiling at her. She tipped hers back, nodding her approval. It was a very cool moment of solidarity. It takes a bit of spunk to wear the kind of hats that I wear on a regular basis; you don’t see many people wearing them, especially women. So it was a very cool moment for me this morning to see and share a moment with a fellow hat wearer. We are a rare breed.
  • This evening I had another really icky commute home. My timing must be off or something. My regular 75 to 90 minute drive has turned into an hour and 45 minutes to two hours. Once you’re tied up in Beltway gridlock you can just about forget getting anywhere in a timely way. Today was one of those days when I nearly shrieked with frustration when even the route that was supposed to provide relief ended up taking longer than it would have if I’d simply taken my normal route. In spit of this, I made the good decision to call my sister and chat with her as I drove (or I should say as I sat in bumper to bumper traffic). Talking to her distracted me from most of the traffic drama and allowed me to focus on her rather than the sea of red taillights stretching out before me. It was a welcome distraction and I was able to keep my mind relatively calm, given the situation. I was grateful for the company and for the distraction.
  • Regular readers of this blog know that I love nature–the flora and fauna in my back yard and surrounding area are often a source of simple but significant gratitude. This evening, after my hour and 47 minute commute, I was outside walking Honor, dragging my tired self around the yard. In the distance I heard the honking of a single goose, followed shortly by a cacophony of sound as the entire gaggle honked in response. In the dark of the evening I found myself searching for the source of the spectacular sounds when suddenly I looked up to see what had to have been about 30 birds flying high overhead. What was remarkable was that I could see them in the dark evening sky. They seemed to be illuminated as if by some faint light–they seemed almost to be glowing. It was quite an amazing sight.

I am continually grateful for the many interesting, quirky kinds of things that I notice or cool encounters that I have with all kinds of beings, human or otherwise. Women in hats, glowing geese, calming conversations, so many other encounters great or small that capture my attention and captivate my imagination. I am grateful for my imagination, for my willingness to see beyond what’s right in front of me to make meaning. These are simple things, but I do not take them for granted: they are sacred and precious, and for each one that happens, each smile or thought or tear or moment of wonder they produce, I am deeply and wonderfully grateful.

Looking like I'm up to something in the hat I was wearing today.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 887

Posted on December 18, 2013 by mtchamblee

When I was driving into work this morning I heard an interesting interview on the radio with a man–Arthur Brooks–who is an expert in happiness. My first question is always about what makes a person an expert in something like happiness, but that is a consideration for another time. Part of what he said is that our happiness can be attributed to three major things: genetics, big events, and values. Nearly half (48 percent) of our happiness is derived from our genes–which can be kind of depressing (if you pardon the irony) if you come from a family that has a history of depression, which I do. We are literally hardwired for happiness, or we’re not.  Another 40 percent comes from key events–getting a big promotion and raise or various other types of big events–but the impact of these on happiness is fleeting. And the third area–representing the remaining 12 percent–comes from our values, which include four areas: faith, friends, family, and meaningful work.

Brooks’ op-ed in last Sunday’s New York times outlined his “formula for happiness.” He suggests that the first three of the four areas make sense in terms of their impact on our happiness, but that the idea that work contributes to our happiness might seem a little counterintuitive. I’ll let you read Brooks’ article and won’t summarize it here, but it was interesting to hear him share his perspectives about happiness on the radio this morning. I used to find it distressing that due to genetic hardwiring I could be essentially doomed to be unhappy, and I’m still not too excited about that idea. But I am glad for the 12 percent we have some control over–the values piece–because I think I have a pretty good handle on the faith and family piece and am working on the meaningful work and friends (community) pieces of the equation. I have to think too that gratitude is a natural offshoot that both precedes and follows happiness. I am grateful to have a measure of each of the various components of happiness and am working to strengthen the areas that need it.

This evening my house is filled with the sounds of happiness and love as I listen to my daughter’s voice talking to a friend on the phone. It is so nice to have her under my roof again. I realize how quiet it can be in my house most of the time. I find that I talk aloud a lot, so it’s nice to hear different noises because of her presence. Her being here definitely is one of those “events” that contributes most directly to my happiness and sense of wellbeing, which is a beautiful thing and for which I am deeply grateful. I am looking forward to spending time with her over the next several days and into the first days of the new year. I am grateful to have faith, family, friends, and meaningful work in my life. I look forward to strengthening the 12 percent of my happiness that I do control and to flexing and exercising the happiness muscle. May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May we all know true peace and happiness and experience the fruits thereof.  May it be so for us all!

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 886

Posted on December 16, 2013 by mtchamblee

I spend way too much time on Facebook sometimes. I get stuck there because that’s where I post this blog each night. The process of writing the blog takes me about an hour, but the posting easily takes another hour because I have to look through all the various updates and videos, articles, pictures and other goofy things people have posted there. Thank goodness I am only on in the evenings when I go to post the blog. I am grateful most nights for the comic relief they provide. The other evening I watched at least half dozen three to four-minute videos–some poignant, some hilarious, all totally entertaining.

I feel like this blog has been a marathon for me and I am in about mile 23 of the 26.2 miles. My literary muscles are burning, my eyes are weary, and my fingers cramped over the keyboard (not literally, of course, but this is a metaphor, so work with me here), and I am praying for the last burst of energy that will provide the “kick” I’ll need in the final 385 yard stretch. This has been a long and interesting journey for me, this writing daily for what–god willing–will be 902 days when I finish on January 1, 2014. That’s 658 straight days or 1.8 years without a break. Well, if you count the six to eight or so times when I’ve had a guess blogger, I guess I haven’t written this blog for 658 days without missing. But seriously, in the scheme of things, who’s counting?

I have no idea who reads this blog–it’s now only a handful, but who comprises the handful changes every day. I know of about a half dozen people who’ve read this blog every day since I started writing it, and others who have perhaps just discovered it recently. Because I post it only on Facebook it is visible to “friends of friends,” so pretty much anyone who is curious could read it. One of my readers for example is a guy I “met” only through an online game I used to play on Facebook. I haven’t played in nearly two years, but he started reading this blog some time ago and periodically has commented on how it has helped him. A childhood friend began reading to her mother who was battling a series illness that ultimately claimed her life. My friend told me about the positive impact it had on the two of them during that period of time they were reading it. I receive all kinds of feedback from friends and regular readers who indicate the positive impact these daily musings have had on their way of thinking about things. This is very gratifying. I’ve often said that I started writing this blog for me: I needed to focus daily on the good things that were present in my life because at the time I began writing so many difficult things had happened. I may have started writing it for me, but I have kept writing it for you, whoever you are.

I’ve never had more than a few hundred readers at the height of my writing, and these days I have a very small number. At times I think I should have done more to promote this work, perhaps somehow making a name for myself in the blogosphere. But really, that’s not why I started writing, and although I may yet take all of the thousands of words, hundreds of pages and create a book or some kind of product, mostly I’ve written to keep myself encouraged and hopefully encourage other people here and there to stop what they’re doing long enough to focus on gratitude, on appreciation for the many blessings that abound in most of our lives. It might sound corny, but if I’ve inspired people, brought a smile to someone, given them pause to ponder something they hadn’t thought about before, then I see that as a very good thing. The other day I wrote about being the next Nelson Mandela, about how each of us has the potential to change the world like he did. I might not be famous, well known, revered around the world, but if in my small circle I can make a difference with and for the people around me, can I not say that is a life well-lived? I think so.

I am grateful for every person who has taken the three minutes or so it probably takes to read my blog. I started it for me and I continue it for us. My hope is that when I write my last daily blog in two weeks I will have conceived of some new way to get more gratitude, generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, and other vital attributes out into the world.  Whatever form that might take I will be forever grateful for the time, energy, and love I’ve invested in this one. For you, with love and, of course, deep gratitude.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 885

Posted on December 15, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight I am once again grateful for simple things. Here they are in no particular order.

This morning during my journal writing time I was exploring a little more deeply some of the seasonal sadness I described in yesterday’s post. I gave myself permission to “go there” for a little while and gently probe what the sadness was and where it was coming from. It was not so much to understand it so that I could make it go away; it really was to get a sense of the textures and flavors of it to determine that it was indeed sadness. After spending some time with it last night and awakening to it this morning I decided that it was sadness versus it’s close cousin, depression. I’ve spent a big chunk of my life dealing with depression, and though they can be pretty closely related and, like identical twins, can be hard to tell apart. But based on what I know and have experienced, I am going with sadness. Not that either one is particularly fun to deal with, to be sure.

As I sat contemplating the impact of how I was feeling I became aware of the loud and cheerful sound of the Carolina Wren singing, and peeking out of the window I noticed that the sun was shining in a blue sky and just like that my energy shifted. Oh yes, simple gratitude indeed: grateful that in the midst of thinking through some serious and important issues I can still appreciate the beautiful day and the sweet song offered by the “little bird with a big voice.” It meant that I wasn’t as far gone as I had first worried that I was. I remain grateful for the beauty of the natural world that surrounds me.Tonight as I was preparing to go over to my sister’s house for dinner I was captivated by the spectacular near-full moon that was rising above the trees. The world around me inspires and amazes me in its beauty and complexity. Even when I am at my most distracted, tired, cranky or sad, the sights and sounds of the outside world can immediately transport me out of the mire and reconnect me to a sacred space of grateful appreciation. And as always I am grateful for the relatively smooth functioning of my body and full use of my senses that allows me to take in everything around me and make sense of it.

I have struggled a bit this evening to write this post. While I am grateful every day for many, many things, at times my ability to express myself and share clearly those things for which I am most grateful eludes me. This brings me back to one other thing I am continually grateful for: the small but consistent and varied group of people who read and “like” this blog each day. You are what has kept me going for these 800-plus days and I appreciate your support and encouragement. Among my primary purposes for writing the blog each day has been to inspire others to spend a moment identifying and expressing gratitude for those things in their lives for which they are grateful. If that happens for someone every day, then I have accomplished a very good thing. And for that I remain deeply and humbly grateful.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 884

Posted on December 14, 2013 by mtchamblee
525,600 minutes
525,000 moments so dear
525,600 minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
“Seasons of Love” from the musical “Rent”

How do you measure a year? How do you measure a lifetime? I am feeling very philosophical as the minutes and moments wind down to the end of another calendar year and as I count down the last days of writing this blog.

Tonight I am allowing myself to feel a sadness that I have been keeping at bay for a long time. I have reasoned to myself that I don’t have time to fully immerse myself in whatever I’m feeling so I have chosen to ignore it or push it away when it gets too close. And while I am by no means going to fully go there are the moment, I am nonetheless going to at least dip my toe into it and see if I can stand it enough to at least wade part of the way in.

I am trying to practice letting go. One of the goodwill wishes I pray nearly every day says, “May I learn to see the arising and passing of all things with equanimity and balance. It is an acknowledgment that not only all good things, but that literally everything must come to an end. Because this is a given, then my wish is to learn to let go with a sense of equanimity. I am not very good at it yet, so I keep practicing. I am hoping that equanimity shows up soon.

I am a very family oriented person and find almost no greater joy than being in the presence of as many of my family members at the same time as possible. These days that is a rare phenomenon. I think the last time my entire family was together was at my father’s funeral three years ago; one never really wants to have those kinds of family gatherings. It used to be that we all got together for the Christmas holidays, but over the years even that has been difficult to accomplish–the expense and inconvenience of travel has meant that one or another of us hasn’t been able to join in the familial festivities. And in recent years, it seems that all of us getting together has lost its importance among some of my siblings. But it hasn’t to me. And each time we don’t gather feels like a further fragmentation of the tenuous bonds that hold us together. May I learn to see the arising and passing of all things with equanimity and balance.

I know I need to let go. In yesterday’s blog my daughter spoke so eloquently about missing people, that it is in missing them that the coming together for the holiday becomes so special and meaningful. And that is true, I suppose. I need to stop missing what used to be and spend time in gratitude and appreciation for what is. Somehow I have to put my attention and energy on those who chose to gather, who are able to, rather than keen and pine and lament over those who do not or cannot. And yet, there’s this hole in my heart, this sadness I am trying to come to grips with. May I learn to see the arising and passing of all things with equanimity and balance.

This evening I scrolled through a bunch of pictures I have on this computer–ones I’ve taken digitally over the last few years and a number of old childhood photos I’ve scanned. Pictures of my parents, my siblings as children, myself looking so serious as I do in many pictures. I am grateful for the times when we were closely connected to one another and for the relationships I have today with each of my siblings. And I am grateful for my small unit family–me, my son, and my daughter. Though I don’t see them as often as I’d like, I’m grateful for those times when I can. I am looking forward to having my daughter here for the holidays and am determined to connect with my son sometime in the next few months. In the meantime as best I can I will enjoy and celebrate each moment I spend with my daughter and my siblings throughout this holiday and be grateful for each of the 525,600 minutes I’ve lived over this past year and all the minutes and moments to come.

Family Photo at Christmastime 1983

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 883

Posted on December 13, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight’s post is a guest blog from none other than my daughter, Michal “MJ” Jones.

The holiday season is upon us, and with it, some of my favorite childhood cartoon specials (I enjoyed “The Grinch” last night); seasonal treats and warm beverages, and, of course — materialism is abound. I particularly struggle with the mainstream representation of holidays associated with purchasing material goods. Western obsession with capitalism and material possession reaches an all-time low on Black Friday, when we wait in hours and fight over what we don’t have after giving thanks for what we do have! (I also have my feelings about Thanksgiving, but that is for another space…) Even as I enjoy aspects of it, there are many that I find to be challenging. And although I am grateful for the gifts I receive, no gift is greater than time spent rejuvenating from a hard semester’s work, and bonding with my family.

What makes this time of year special to me every year is the chance to connect with my family, some of whom I have not seen for years. Reconnecting with aunts, uncles, cousins and parents reminds me of how blessed I truly am to have such a support system. As I prepare to graduate from my Master’s program and seek my first full-time, “real” job, one of the things I have been struggling with is that, no matter where I go next, I will always be missing someone. My mom and aunts are in DC, I have extended family in Indiana and Philadelphia, an older brother in California, and my father, stepmom, and younger brother in St. Louis. Even if I move to one of these places, I will still be missing someone.

But, perhaps missing them is what makes this time of year so meaningful – and makes me cherish the time spent with them even more. I am grateful for all of the time spent on the phone, and all of the upcoming time I will spend with my families. On Tuesday, I will leave Seattle for several weeks and head to the Washington, DC area to visit my mom and our family. This is the first time I will see mommy in over six months, and I cannot wait to be in her arms again! Even as I grow into more of an adult and make my own decisions, there are still few things that compare to the love and warmth that exists between she and I. (Along with a dose of healthy crankiness, but that’s alright). And, although she sometimes struggles with the idea of “letting me go,” I am not letting go in the sense that I will always be her daughter, and always love her unconditionally. As long as I’m living, her baby I’ll be!

I am also using this “off” time for someone I don’t normally focus on – myself! I have not been the most kind to myself throughout much of my life, and need to prioritize my own self care above all else. I foresee much guitar playing, reading, meditation, sleep, and exercise in my future! I am committed to affirming myself in my truth, power, strength, courage, and wisdom.

I am also grateful this evening for the new adventures I am having now and have ahead of me. Tomorrow I leave with my partner Jennette for my first visit to Portland, where I will meet their* mother and spend some quality time exploring and relaxing. Although our relationship is young, blossoming, and still in the growing stages, I am incredibly grateful for them and the love and respect they have shown me as I grow with them. I am grateful for new friends that I am connecting with on a deep level around our identities, beliefs, and laughter. I am grateful for the cold this time of year and how it brings people together. I am grateful for the people in my life – and while I should never take material things for granted – the memories that will forever warm me involve my family (blood kin, friends, partner, etc.)

Now, I am off to work on gifts that express my love and admiration! Happy holidays.

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*They/them/their is a gender-neutral pronoun. This is hard to remember at times (I slip up occasionally), but never assume that someone identifies in any particular binary way.

**Want to know what to “get me” for the holidays? Please donate to the Philippines and support Haiyan Relief! nafconusa.org

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 882

Posted on December 12, 2013 by mtchamblee
Mama said there’ll be days like this, there’ll be days like this Mama said.
Mama said there’ll be days like this, there’ll be days like this my Mama said.

There is this interesting phenomenon that I experience every once in a while. I’ll notice and celebrate being in a really good space, in a groove and flow, of enjoying being “in the right place at the right time,” and overall life is groovy. And then, bam! Assorted little craziness occurs that make me question if things really had calmed down, improved, shifted, etc. or if the hiccups and speed bumps are the norm and the smoothed-out path the exception. For now I’m going to go with the notion that right now life is evening out and generally good and that the mini-misfortunes, if one can call these that, are merely the occasional blip and not indicative of a general patter. I’m grateful for the depth of experiences I’ve had over the last few years that let me know how to handle the various things that come up with as much strength, grace, and resiliency as possible.

Today has been a good day for the most part. It deteriorated a bit toward the end of the day. After an hour and 40 minute drive home, eating dinner two hours later than usual, responding to a unfriendly communication from my landlord, discovering that something had been moved around in my kitchen and I have no idea who could have done it, I am more than ready to call it a day and begin again tomorrow. With all the weather delays and snow days this week it is hard to believe tomorrow is Friday, but I am ecstatic that it is. It has felt like a long and exhausting week, and quite honestly I’m a bit cranky.

Many days I can wax eloquent and poetic about the virtues of gratitude and walking through my days with a grateful heart. This is in part because many days I actually do offer focused attention on maintaining a sense of gratitude, compassion, generosity and other positive attributes as I go about my day to day life. And then there are those days, sort of like this one, when I’m tired and crispy and not feeling like dealing with the ocean of red tail lights I encounter on the Beltway at night when all I want to do is get home, sink on my sofa with my dinner tray on my lap and eat and relax. I don’t have the energy when I get home for dealing with the mini-dramas that I encountered when I got here this evening. I am fully aware, of course, that these really are the small stuff, not even first world problems but more like first world irritations. When I can put them all into that context I recognize that in the scheme of things life is still pretty good, I simply need to exhale and relax, knowing that Mama did indeed say there’ll be days like this. And so it is.

I am grateful to at this moment to be sitting in my bed about to retire for the evening. Richard Carlson had it write when he admonished us, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff.” When I think back over the course of the day it was all small stuff. And so as I prepare to take my rest I am letting go, as best I can, of the last vestiges of irritation from the micro-dramas that challenged my sense of equanimity at the end of the day. All shall be well and tomorrow is another day filled with new possibilities. And for that I am most definitely grateful.

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