Lessons in Gratitude Day 901

Posted on December 31, 2013 by mtchamblee
It has been a challenging time the last few months, challenging in a very different way than what I faced back in 2011 when I first began writing this blog, but challenging nonetheless. Today I am looking back in gratitude at the year that was 2013. Where 2012 was a tumultuous ride, 2013 saw me in recovery mode as I got my feet back under me after being knocked off them in 2011 and slowly getting to my knees and then to my feet. I looked back at my journal entry and my blog post for New Year’s Eve 2012 to gain a sense of where I started at the beginning of this year. Like many people, I entered 2013 with a variety hopes and expectations, some of which I met, some I did not. And, like many people, I also received unexpected blessings and experienced unanticipated disappointments. It was a good year, filled with gratitude for how the journey has unfolded.

I spent much of the year in gratitude for family and friends. I lived all of 2013 in Maryland, having moved here in October of 2012. During this past year I have so deeply appreciated once again living close to family. Prior to my seven years in California, I’d lived in Michigan, a little over two hours away from my brothers and Dad in Indiana. But when I moved to the greater Washington DC metropolitan area last fall, I moved within 20 minutes of each of my three sisters. For the first time in over 30 years I lived in the same vicinity as my sisters (40 years for my two older sisters). I have spent more time hanging out with one or another of them in 2013 than I have in the last few decades, and I am loving it. Spending time with my sisters and their partners and families helped me to feel a little less alone in 2013. When I moved across the country from the West Coast to the East, I “left behind” my two “children”–my son in California and my daughter in Washington State.  So for the past 15 months it’s been me and my canine sidekick Honor, sharing space in my little house. It has been wonderful reengaging with them all.

Extended family played a role in my life this past year: my love and interest in our family history was reignited in 2013 and my sister Sandy (my “Road Trip Twin”) and I traveled to the Chamblee family reunion in Gainesville, Georgia this past summer. We met and kindled new relationships with cousins descended from my grandfather’s aunties. I went to the reunion filled with energy and questions about our family history on both my parents’ sides of the family, noting all the questions I needed to pose to the few remaining elders in our family. Sadly, even as we were driving back from the reunion we received word that my Aunt Jeanne, one of my mother’s sisters and the only one who could answer some of my questions, had passed away. My heart grieved her loss, not only as a beloved aunt, but as one who could have answered some very basic but important questions about my grandmother, for whom I was named. I have been intrigued by my ancestry ever since I was a young child pestering my grandfather for stories about who our people were and where they came from. I imagine I’ll spend a chunk of time in 2014 continuing to explore the mysteries and unanswered questions about who we are and where we’re from.

I can’t recount all the lessons in gratitude I’ve learned over this past year, let alone in the 900 days since I began writing this blog. I’ve been grateful for many, many simple blessings–the basic necessities that we too often take for granted–as well as more profound blessings, like finding meaningful, full-time work after a long, difficult job search. It has been a remarkable journey since June 2011. I’ve taken many wild rides on Mephistopheles the Mechanical Bull–my metaphorical explanation for the emotional, mental, and spiritual ups and downs, sides-to-sides, highs and low that I experienced during the “series of unfortunate events” that befell me in 2011. It was through those times that I discovered what I was made of, demonstrating perseverance and resilience that I hadn’t realized I possessed and moving my life in an overall more hopeful direction.

And so at the end of 2013 the blog that is “Lessons in Gratitude” will formally come to an end with this the 901st day. I’ve tried to wrap my mind around the idea that this day was coming and that I would be writing this final blog. What am I going to do when I’ve written the final blog? I’ve asked myself a number of times over the past few weeks. What am I going to do with all that free time I’ll have in the evenings? Will I lose the discipline I’ve built up by having a daily gratitude practice? I haven’t panicked about any of it–not much anyway–just allowed my spirit and subconscious mind to work on the matter while on the surface I kept writing.

As periodically happens, much to my grateful delight, an idea presented itself to me. The idea is a bit rough still, and so I’m not quite ready to make any kind of announcement except to say that my intention is to keep writing several times per week if not every day. The themes will be broader than gratitude, though gratitude will remain an integral part of the repertoire. I also hope to write on themes such as compassion, forgiveness, and various concepts that I’ve explored regularly in this blog. Lessons in Gratitude will continue to be available for the foreseeable future, but the new blog–which has yet to be named–will provide a new platform for sharing reflections on a variety of areas. I begin the new endeavor in the same spirit and energy as I did Lessons: I have no idea where this might go, what I might do with this, and how long I’ll be at it, but I feel pulled to try. I’ll be counting on the support of faithful readers, as well as the occasional newbies to embrace the new blog, which could begin as soon as tomorrow (January 1 is a really good day to start something) or a little later in January, depending on my energy level. We’ll see where it ends up.

I want to close tonight with a prayer that embodies some of what I hope to achieve with my life, not specifically in 2014, but well beyond that. May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May we all experience true peace and happiness in 2014. So be it!

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

© M. T. Chamblee, 2013

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 900

Posted on December 31, 2013 by mtchamblee
This morning  I awoke before the alarm rang. I had it set for 8:00 a.m. and will make it progressively earlier over the next few days in an attempt to, as best I can, get my body prepared for the shift back to my 5:30 a.m. waking. I’ve been out sync for the past two weeks I’ve been off work, so I expect it will take me a few days at least to get back on track. I really should set my alarm for 7:00 and drag myself out of bed even though I am writing this blog at 11:30 p.m.

One of the things I have appreciated over these 900 days has been being able to invite readers into my sometimes mundane ramblings. As much as I wish I were brilliant and profound, posting deeply meaningful, philosophical, and provocative writings on a daily basis, often the true lessons in gratitude are to be found in the simple things of every day life. Even profundity can and often does emerge from the most basic blessings that while they don’t on face value appear to drip with significance, upon closer examination there are gems buried just beneath the surface. I am grateful for your indulgence in meandering with me through these lessons each night to discover whatever speaks to you on a given day. I am often surprised and gratified that people have found value in a post that I struggled mightily to pull together into a semblance of coherent thought.

“How’s the blog coming tonight?” my daughter would often ask me. “It isn’t very good tonight, I’m afraid,” I would answer her, only to have a reader comment that they really appreciated a point I made in that very posting that I had deemed “not very good.” And so it has been: I can’t predict what any one person will find meaningful. Only a small handful of people read this blog every day; others find their way here from time to time. I have to believe that those occasional readers peek in when there’s something on that particular day that they need to hear. I hope I’ve been able to provide it.

I have reached day 900 of this labor of love; I honestly didn’t think I had it in me to keep going to this day. Day 900 seemed so far away a few months ago when I determined that I would stop my blog on this particular day. That it corresponded with the last day of the year seemed poetic, until I realized that I miscalculated by one day; that December 31, 2o13 would actually be on Day 901. Alas, another near miss to smile about. I have been praying and staying open about what to do once I’ve written my last lesson in gratitude. What would I do with this time I’ve dedicated to writing over the past 900 days? I have reached a conclusion, that came to me somewhat quietly and unceremoniously as I lay in restless wakefulness before my alarm rang this morning. I will share more about it in tomorrow’s final lesson in gratitude. As is often the case when I write this blog, I have no idea at this moment what I will write about. Day 901 will be as many of the previous 900 have been–spontaneous and unscripted. I will do my best to make it interesting.

I am grateful for every single one of these 900 days and grateful to everyone who has journeyed with me over these months and years. We may find an opportunity to sojourn together a little longer, god willing. More about that tomorrow. Thanks to each of you for your wonderful presence in my life. I am truly grateful and very, very blessed.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 899

Posted on December 29, 2013 by mtchamblee

On June 30, 2011, I wrote the first of these Lessons in Gratitude (Day One). I’m not sure I ever wrote down why I decided to call them “lessons,” I suppose I figured that there were things I was learning from my focusing on gratitude. I’d created the blog site, “Consider This…” for my coaching and consulting business, but had never used it for anything. So it provided the platform for this journey into gratefulness that has become a two and a half year odyssey. As I described in that first post, I had no real idea where this was going to lead me:

…for some reason today it hit me: I really am grateful for so many things, including those mundane things I am privileged to think of as mundane–like clean water to drink and something that makes my clean water cold. I am facing some challenges in my life right now but those challenges are far outweighed by the number of things I am grateful for. So, I am challenging myself to write every day about at least one thing I am grateful for. Not a list of things, but one thing (or more) that I’m grateful for and why. I’m not sure how long I can sustain it, or if I’ll write a public blog every day or simply write it in my journal. But, I am challenging myself nonetheless. All those people who recommend doing this can’t be wrong. There’s simply nothing to lose by doing this.

Nothing to lose indeed, and everything to gain. It is remarkable how much I have grown because of the daily practice of gratitude. Even in the midst of incredibly trying circumstances, when my heart felt like it was breaking from the pain and confusion I was experiencing in my life in the first few months I wrote the blog, something inside of me welled up every day and I found something–many things–that made my life worthwhile and worth living for. Every single day, no matter how hard that day might have been, I exercised my gratitude muscle and wrote publicly what I was grateful for.

I am grateful to “whatever gods may be, for my unconquerable soul,” as the poem Invictus reads. The poem speaks to the determination to withstand the “bludgeonings of chance” and remain whole and strong. There were many days when I cried and wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of the circumstances in which I found myself and maintain a sense of  equanimity and mental and emotional wellbeing. Gratitude was the anchor that kept me from drifting into depression and hopelessness. The practice of gratitude each day gave me a structure, provided me with much-needed discipline in my life just then. As I contemplate my “what’s next” regarding my writing, blogging, and self expression, I have no idea what will provide the new structure and discipline to keep me on a good trajectory, but if past history is any clue, the Universe will give me the direction as I stay open to its leading.

I have learned so many important lessons from my reflections on gratitude over these 800-plus days. I am grateful for the many lessons learned from the difficulties I encountered as well as the blessings, and from the people who supported and encouraged me along the way. I do not know where the road will lead after I’ve posted this blog for the “last” time in the next few days, what I do know is that it will be paved with gratitude. And that is a most beautiful thing.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 898

Posted on December 29, 2013 by mtchamblee

It is such an odd feeling to be winding down writing this blog. I have begun thinking about what I am going to do with the time I’ve normally devoted to writing this blog each night–somewhere between 45 minutes and an hour, depending on whether or not Thalia–the Muse of comedy and light verse–or any of the other Muses put in an appearance. In the scheme of things, in the arc of my life, those 45 to 60 minutes might not amount to all that much time. Even in the course of one night that represents only a portion of the evening. And yet, to “reclaim” an hour or so in my life could have a significant impact, depending on what I choose to do with that time. I am open to suggestions.

Tonight I am grateful for simple blessings: friendship in all its forms. My daughter’s old friend Alex is visiting. It’s been fun watching them interact and reconnect after having not seeing one another for nearly two years. They dropped immediately back into their standard ways of being together, and Alex commented about how he feels like it was just yesterday since we last spent time together rather than two years, such was their easygoing, heart-to-heart connection. It is lovely to see and be a part of and I am grateful for the reminder that true friendships are like that: they don’t require constant presence to be strong and vibrant, it simply starts with a good, solid foundation of love.

I am also grateful for my canine companion, my four-legged roommate, my sweet friend Honor. I have written about her before, and I want to acknowledge that, while she is important to me, she doesn’t carry the same weight as my brother Alan and my sister Sandy, about whom I’ve written over the past couple of days. But she does carry her own special place. While I was away from home for the holidays, Honor stayed with my sister Ruth and her family, who took wonderful care of her. Ruth sent pictures and an occasional update on how things were going. I realized when we’d gotten back that this was the longest period of time I’d been separated from Honor since she first came into our lives nearly six years ago.

My reunion with my friend and sidekick was sweet: she greeted me as enthusiastically as ever and I realized, much to my surprise, how much I had missed her and how glad I was to be back. When Honor and I moved East  last year, she became my sole companion. I was living totally on my own for the first time in my life, having previously always lived with another living being–usually human ones. Living without human companionship has definitely been made a little easier by Honor’s presence, and I can’t imagine my life without her. I am grateful for her daily examples of living in the moment and of completely unconditional love–powerful lessons indeed.

I am a few short days from the last daily entries on this blog. While I may visit from time to time, offering some reflections on gratitude, they are not going to be daily any more. I hope to hear from a few of you readers about what you are most grateful for before I sign off on New Year’s Eve. Meanwhile, I remain deeply grateful for the many blessings in my life great and small. Thanks to each of you for being part of my journey.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 897

Posted on December 27, 2013 by mtchamblee

One of the downsides of singling out one of five siblings for “special” recognition (though I’m not sure that writing about them in this blog constitutes “special…” not like winning an award of some kind, for example) is that I am bound to leave someone out. This evening I want to correct that error by heaping a huge cache of gratitude on my big sister, Sandy. Sandy is the younger of my two big sisters–she is seven years my senior; a difference that has mattered less and less over the past few decades. I have referred to her many times in my blog, particularly over the past year that I’ve lived in the greater DC metropolitan area, where Sandy has called home for over 40 years; but I have not written about her. I plan to rectify that now.

I have just gotten off the highway after another long excursion with my “road trip twin,” Sandy. Regular readers of this blog will know that Sandy and I trekked off together to Gainesville, Georgia for our family reunion in July where we “talked and laughed all the way through four states and 600 miles.” In August we spent several days together with her family and our sister Ruth and her children on vacation on the Outer Banks in North Carolina, and in September Sandy and I ventured out to St. Paul-Minneapolis, Minnesota to visit with our cousins on our father’s side of the family. We have trekked and traveled Butch and Sundance fashion, logging thousands of miles over land and air. I suppose that next we should take on a cruise of some sort so that we can add “sea” to our means of transportation. I think I can speak for both of us in saying that we’ve had a lot of fun, engaged in some meaningful conversations, and shared some interesting experiences together over this past year. As much as I have appreciated and am grateful for each of those experiences,  that is not what I want to focus on this evening.

My relationship with Sandy is multifaceted, multi-layered, multi-textured, wonderful in its complexity and beautiful in its simplicity. And yes, it is possible for it to be all those things. I would say that, while I’ve always loved my sister, it has been over the past couple of years that I’ve come to much more deeply appreciate her for who she is. For one thing, she is generous almost to a fault. She would probably say that has been blessed materially and in my direct experience has no problems giving of herself in whatever ways she can. She was one of my siblings who stepped forward to help me when I went through my series of unfortunate events in 2011 and subsequent struggles throughout most of  2012. I am grateful not simply for the support, but equally for her willingness to lovingly step in without judgment (as in, “how’d you get into this mess?”) or hesitation. She was, of course, delighted when my job search landed me a position in the greater DC metro area, and she provided me and my sidekick Honor a place to stay when we first moved here in fall 2012. Honor and I have been frequent and welcomed guests at her home which she shares with her husband Al and their canine sidekick Blu.

I wish I could capture fully how our relationship has blossomed over the past few years. We’ve spent many hours on the phone discussing a wide variety of life issues each of us has faced. These have ranged from parenting challenges, professional issues (she and I work in similar roles in our respective industries), and a wide range of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual subjects. Since I moved here in October 2012, we’ve been able to hang out in person as well as undertake our epic road trips. And even though we brought companions on this our most recent road trip (her husband and my daughter), it was still the two of us–Butch and Sundance, Bonnie and Clyde, Thelma and Louise (wait a minute…all those people were gangsters or criminals…), Lucy and Ethel, (wait another minute…all those people are white…well, you get the point) Anyway, the Road Trip Twins ride again.

I am grateful for my sister Sandy–who she is and who she is becoming. As I said yesterday in writing about my brother Alan, Sandy too has her imperfections (one of them is being a perfectionist and incredibly hard on herself…) But from where I sit, I see a wonderful, talented, strong, powerful, and loving human being with whom I am proud and pleased to be associated. We are related by blood, but we are connected by love and spirit, and for that I am most particularly grateful.

Road Trip Twins, December 2013

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 896

Posted on December 26, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight I am preparing for the long drive home tomorrow. I am writing this back at my more regular time of 9 p.m., with the expectation that I will be able to go to sleep early.  I have to rise at 4:30 a.m. to get up and be ready to hit the road by 5. I think I’ll be able to manage it–I’ll have to be able to manage.

I would like to write a well thought out deeply meaningful blog tonight, but am not quite sure I am up to it. Here is what I want to write about, and I hope to be able to hit the mark at least in some small way: I am grateful for and love each of my siblings for various reasons. Oh there she goes writing about family again. But here’s the thing: I love writing about my family. They are the single most important element in my life at the moment. Tonight I want to focus in on one person. I was describing this phenomenon to someone earlier today, that among the six of us children of Roland and Dorothy are two who are universally loved: my brother Alan (a.k.a. Corky/Coco) and my sister Ruth. The six of us “kids” have reasonably good relationships with one another, and as is the case in any large family, some siblings are closer to and get along better with others. But my hunch is that if you were to poll the siblings and perhaps even my siblings-in-law and the various nieces and nephews about who the universal favorites are they would quickly land at Alan and Ruth.

Now I can’t necessarily speak for people outside of my family, though I’m  certain that a number of people would vote similarly, but in my book these two siblings possess a number of wonderful qualities. I’ve written about each of them before (Day 90 and 314 about Ruth, and Day 774 about Alan) because I am so deeply grateful to and for them, but they are on my mind again today, especially my Alan. This evening I was able to spend a little time in conversation with him. He is the family storyteller. I am a writer and family historian, but no one in our family spins a yarn about our family like he does. And while many of his stories have a comedic, melodramatic, over-the-top exaggerated (tall tale) feel to them, he can also speak in deeply moving and eloquent terms about things close to his heart.

Tonight he was remembering a poignant moment about an emotional interaction he’d had with his wife at our father’s funeral. It reminded me yet again about why he is so special to me: inside that strong, powerful, six-foot, four inch frame beats a very loving, sweet, and vulnerable heart. I know as I sit here writing this that there isn’t anything my brother wouldn’t do for me. I started to add the phrase “within reason,” but the truth is, there are probably even some unreasonable things he would do for me if I asked him to. He has taken care of me and other members of our family in so many ways it’s impossible to count them all. He is also a good provider to his family, and he and his wife have raised three wonderful young human beings. They too are a testament to the kind of man he is.

Like most human beings, my brother has bad days and he can be cranky with the best of us. But even when he’s cranky he often finds time and room in his heart to reach out to, connect with, and help the people around him. He is by no means perfect, and would be the first to tell you he doesn’t have it all figured out. Like all of us he has his foibles and imperfections, which in a sense allows me to have mine. I’m grateful to my brother for who he is and for the example he sets for me of how to be a good person in his own unique way. I have learned a great deal from my siblings–through word and deed–and I am grateful for each of them for how they add to my life and what they bring to the world. I want to continue to grow into the person I am meant to be and am deeply grateful for the role models I have in each of my siblings. Simply put, it doesn’t get much better than that.

Me and My Big Brother Alan

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 895

Posted on December 26, 2013 by mtchamblee

Whew! I am starting this post after midnight on Christmas, so I guess that makes this Boxing Day. It has been a whirlwind day that were I to sit and think back through it I would probably observe that it was more like two days packed into one. It feels like a good night for simple gratitude: for giving thanks for the many simple blessings that are often taken for granted and yet are so vital to life, to my life at least. So I offer thanks for these Christmas 2013 blessings:

  • I am grateful for the abundance of food that was laid out for our family today: if there’s one thing we know how to do on a big holiday it’s prepare a lot of delectable, high protein (translation: lots of meat), flavorful, colorful, well-seasoned and visually beautiful foods. We ate and drank well and lacked nothing (except for a few family members who for various reasons were unable to be with us at the Christmas meal.
  • The connections we continue to make with one another in our family: conversations and interactions that strengthen the bonds between each of us. While our numbers have declined a little over the past few years, we still make meaningful connections with one another across generations. It was fun this evening playing games with my nieces, my sister, and my daughter, with an occasional assist from my nephew. This holiday has provided constant reminders of why I love family gatherings–the laughter, the relationship-building, the connecting.
  • We have been warm, sheltered and safe over these days. Tonight it snowed fairly hard, but we were warm and sheltered at one brother’s house for dinner this evening and had a warm, safe, reliable vehicle to drive us over the snowy roads to arrive back at my other brother’s home.

I continue to be thankful for the basic blessings: food, shelter, clothing, and the blessings of family to love, guide, defend, protect, amuse, entertain, hug, assist, and heal each other. We are these things for each other and so much more than that. I am aware that there are so any people who are lacking some of all of these necessities.

As I prepare to turn in this evening I’ll take my rest in anticipation of one more day spent in the company of extended family members before our little foursome who traveled here drive back East. We will have the opportunity to reconnect with my other sisters and their families in some configuration over the next few days before my daughter heads back to the West Coast. It  has indeed been a whirlwind Christmas day. For the many blessings, simple and otherwise and for the greatest gift of love and connections with family, I am most heartily grateful.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 894

Posted on December 24, 2013 by mtchamblee
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.”
~Henry Van Dyke

I am constantly amazed at how swiftly time passes by; it always seems to catch me by surprise. I’ll turn around and someone who I remember as a baby is graduating from college or like when suddenly my son celebrated his 25th birthday. How is that possible, I ask myself, when I feel like I’m only just turning 30? Coming home and being around family always seems to put me into some weird time warp: I either stand still or regress a decade or two.

My sister-in-law’s father was stricken ill this morning. It wasn’t particularly life-threatening, but he had to be hospitalized. My sister-in-law and brother spent most of the day out of town spending time with her father as he underwent various medical tests and got situated in the hospital. Those of us who remained at home spent the day preparing the Christmas Eve dinner that is traditionally hosted here.

Today I was thinking back about Christmases past when people had been seriously ill during the holidays. I was about to tell my daughter about how my mother had been ill at Christmastime. We had been celebrating the holiday in Washington DC at my oldest sister’s house. Mom had been having difficulty breathing and my sister (who was an MD) after consulting with my father (who was also an MD) decided that she needed to get home to Indiana to see a doctor as quickly as possible. A few days later, she was diagnosed with the lung cancer that would take her life five short months later.

As I was telling Michal about this I found myself unexpectedly choked up with tears. How odd, I thought to myself, after all these years–19 since she was diagnosed–I can still be brought to tears. This too catches me off guard. Surely after 19 years I “should” be past this, and yet it is still poignantly present for me, especially being here in our hometown. Yesterday my sister and brother had gone to the cemetery to lay a wreath on my parents’ graves and place a new candle there. I haven’t been to my parents’ graves since we buried my father in 2010. I will probably go “visit” sometime while I’m still here in town, though I still find it difficult to go. For some reason I keep thinking about the words spoken by the angel to the women who came to visit Jesus’s tomb after he’d resurrected, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?” To me, I don’t go to the cemetery to visit them, I am more comforted by thinking of them as being all around me rather than being at the gravesite. For others of my siblings, they derive great comfort from going to the cemetery, feeling the presence of both my parents there.

I am grateful for these holiday gatherings. We reminisce, we look at old pictures and smile and laugh at how cute we were or how funny we looked, and we introduce our grown children to a brief glimpse of who we were “back in the day.” These moments, poignant and comical are etched into the book of our lives, and even though some of the memories are painful, they remain deeply meaningful and irreplaceable. To be surrounded by well-loved nieces and nephews oohing and ahhing about cute I was as a six-year old, to laugh with my brothers and sister over some previously forgotten memory, to think longingly of those no longer present on the planet as well as those who were unable to travel to this year’s holiday gathering…for these things and many, many more, I am deeply and exceedingly grateful.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 893

Posted on December 23, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight I stood in an oblong circle of family holding hands and saying our family grace.

Divine lover, thou hast always met and will always meet each and every human need and we are truly grateful. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

Fourteen of us were gathered at my oldest brother’s house to celebrate his birthday: eating, talking, laughing, sharing stories, taking photos, making new memories. As the year draws to a close and I wind down the end of this blog, I return to an oft-repeated theme–love and connection with family. The sounds of my siblings and their children laughing really is music to my ears.

Earlier this evening a number of us got involved in a heated conversation about a philosophical issue. I found myself in vehement disagreement with one of my siblings. Each of us were raising our voices and passionately arguing our positions, with various ones of us chiming in. At one point there were at least six of us arguing. Then to break the tension, someone said, “How about that football game last night?” We were temporarily distracted, but I think we felt a little bad. After a moment or two I found myself reaching out apologetically to my sib, who was also reaching back to me. There is, I believe, a quiet understanding between us that no philosophical argument is worth getting so heated about that we can’t quickly work our way back into good relationship. I am grateful to be in good relationship with the various members of my family.

I am enjoying the time I am able to spend with my nieces and nephews. The group that I am staying with are kids my kids grew up playing with. It is fun talking with them: one is out of college and now working at his alma mater, one is a senior in college and the third is a sophomore. Their parents raised them to work hard, respect their elders, and love family. It shows up in the way that they interact with me, their crazy auntie whom they only see once every six to 12 months or so. Interacting with them has been a lot of fun. I am looking forward to continuing to hang out with them as we engage in the traditional family game night and movie night over the next few days.

I have colleagues at work who are only children: one will spend the holiday hanging out with her parents and their friends in the retirement village and the other will hang out with aunties and cousins who are a bit like siblings but not quite. I have another colleague who is the youngest of eight children and a friend who is the oldest of seven. Given the various stories I hear from them, I am just fine being situated as a “middle child” in our group of six siblings. I have four siblings older than me and one younger, and I find that even as a middle child I have learned to find my place in the family, contributing where I can to the wellbeing of individuals and the collective. In the midst of holiday gatherings I am content simply to observe and take in the sights and sounds of family swirling all around me. These times are priceless and I am grateful for each one.

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Lessons in Gratitude Day 892

Posted on December 22, 2013 by mtchamblee

This morning when the alarm rang at 3:45 I could scarcely believe it. Hadn’t I just gone to sleep? I didn’t turn out the light until after 11 p.m., netting approximately Still, I dragged myself out of my bed and started into my morning routine–coffee, shower, dressing, etc. Sandy said she’d be at my house at 5 a.m. and I was fully convicted that she and her husband would show up at the appointed hour and shortly after their arrival we would pack our stuff into the car and make the 600 mile trek back home to Indiana for the holidays. With the exception of some rain and wind, the weather was mild and the driving was easy. Sandy and I shared driving duties, recreating our earlier road trip to Gainesville, Georgia for our family reunion last July. Her husband and my daughter hung out in the back seat. Tonight I am grateful once again for traveling mercies.

For most of this evening, since we arrived at my brother’s house where Michal and I will be staying, I have either felt like I was still moving or I was out on my feet. We went over to my other brother’s house for dinner. It has been so great being with family. As often happens we launched into a lot of catching up conversations with nieces and nephews, sisters-in-law (both of whom are such a part of my life they can hardly be considered “in laws”). It really is the best part of the holiday season.

I wish I had the energy to write this evening about all that I am seeing and experiencing that I am grateful for, but I am simply too tired. That is discouraging, but it is all I can do to write these few lines. I am looking forward to a good night’s rest and earnestly hope to sleep in tomorrow morning–and in this case sleeping in means not getting out of bed at 3:45 or 5:30 or even 7:00 a.m. With any luck I might manage to sleep until 8:30 or something like that. How great would that be?

I am looking forward to being coherent and spending quality time with family. Heck, with two shopping days until Christmas I might have to do some shopping just to say I did! But for this evening I am simply grateful to be safely home among family, very much feeling love and connection. And that is a beautiful thing.

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