Lessons in Gratitude Day 881

Posted on December 11, 2013 by mtchamblee

I know I have been more tired than I am tonight. I can’t say “Oh my god, I can’t remember when I was this tired,” because the truth is I can remember times I’ve been much more tired. So I’m not going to talk about it. It has been another long, mostly good day, beginning with the three-hour training session I co-led with four other colleagues. As tiring as it was, it was also fun. While it might sound odd that spending three hours talking about racism, sexism, heterosexism, and other isms could be fun, it is less about the content and more about the context. We engaged with people who for the most part were willing to learn, to explore ideas, to struggle together with concepts that were unfamiliar to some and painfully all too familiar to others. No matter how difficult the subject, if the “students” are openhearted, openminded and willing to learn, then even the more difficult subjects can be “fun” to work with. And the fact that I am co-leading with colleagues means we get to both teach and learn from one another–our unique knowledge and experience bases, our leadership styles and personalities, and our ways of creating and being in community with others.

I have been doing this work for a long time–“diversity” work in higher education for over 30 years. THIRTY YEARS. There have been times over the course of my career that I have absolutely wanted to head into the hills and become a shepherd. (Don’t laugh, one of these days I’m going to go raise sheep.) I am grateful that at those times–and yes, I still have them periodically–I have colleagues, comrades-in arms that are also doing this work, who can spell me, step in and take over so I can rest a minute. I haven’t always had such colleagues: I used to work primarily solo, a sometimes lone voice in a unit trying to roll the rock uphill and hope it didn’t roll back down and crush me. I am so grateful to have colleagues, kindred spirits, conversation partners, significant people around me from whom I can draw support and inspiration. It is another mark that for this moment in my life I am in the right place at the right time. I haven’t always been so convinced of this, but as I continue walking this path that I’m on, the more I am persuaded that my internal navigation system (INS) is working perfectly, the signal is strong and I’m rolling along with confidence.

We all have access to this INS, but at times the signal gets lost and we temporarily don’t know where to exit the Beltway. When we get our signal clear, sometimes we’ve gotten a bit off course and we have to take corrective measures to get back on track toward our destination. I’ve experienced a lot of mixed signals with my INS over the years, but I think I have the bugs mostly worked out of it, at least as regards my life purpose. I’m getting clearer about that all the time. A few other areas in my life still have a few kinks in them, but I’m getting a pretty good handle on what in part I am here to do. The details of how I walk that out are still being revealed to me; but for now I’m content to know that I’m headed in the right direction and will continue to watch all the cool things that are going to continue unfolding.

Gratitude continues to be a vital component in the way I walk through the world. When my life was haywire and clouded and shrouded in a fog of uncertainty, gratitude was a beacon that helped guide me along the way until clouds and mist gave way to clear sunshine. As long as I focused on the many blessings in my life, no matter how challenged I felt, I was able to find my way and keep myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually afloat. Navigating through life with a grateful heart has kept me strong and will continue to do so in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. And for that I remain quietly and deeply grateful.

Posted in Gratitude, Life Purpose | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 880

Posted on December 10, 2013 by mtchamblee

Today was a snow day. Yesterday was an odd weather day–delayed opening and work and power outages wreaked havoc on the campus and surrounding area. This morning the winter storm they meteorologists had predicted showed up right on time, exactly as it had the previous day. Right around daybreak, as predicted, the snow started falling and it fell all morning. They predicted it would keep falling until around 2 p.m. when the weather warning would expire. Go figure. By 2 p.m. the sun was shining and the snow was melting off the roads. For the second day in a row they’d hit it right on the head. In spite of being out of the office I worked nearly a full day–seven hours–on various projects and presentations  we’re doing at work tomorrow and Thursday. There’s an entire team doing this training and I took it upon myself to create the presentation slides. We were supposed to meet to go over things, but were thwarted by weather yesterday and today. So, I worked here at my house, sitting on my bed for most of it, laptop on lap and file folders spread out on my bed. Some way to spend a snow day!

Now I find myself at the end of the day at nearly the same time I usually write this blog, and I am as tired as if I had gone into the office. I am relieved and grateful that my inspiration for this evening’s blog hit me this morning. As I was writing in my journal I became overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude, thankful for “how life is just at this moment.” It is a feeling I’ve been experiencing a lot lately; that sense that in a given moment, just then, life is beautiful and I am speechless with appreciation.

I am grateful, I wrote in this morning’s journal entry, that during those difficult months in Pinole [California] I reached for and found grace, peace, strength, Spirit. I was standing strong and in the midst of struggle, I was building, growing in strength, wisdom and courage even as my “outer man,” the externals of my life, were being torn down. Perhaps my structures in places were a bit rickety, but my foundation was strongly and solidly built. Thank you God!

When I look back on the days of anxiety and uncertainty that I experienced in the 20+ months between January 2011 and August 2012 I am grateful for the strength of will, the support of family, and the grace of God that kept me moving, putting one foot in front of the other, and somehow believing that everything would be alright. It was during that time that I really developed and flexed my gratitude muscle; focusing on the blessings in my life and living each day with a grateful heart as best I could in the midst of the drama and trauma. And while I have not yet arrived and still have things I want to achieve in and with my life, I am in a much stronger place than I was even this time last year. As we move toward the end of  2013, which concludes three weeks from tonight, I am moving forward, growing stronger, living my purpose, walking in my power and navigating through it all with a heart filled with gratitude.

Posted in Gratitude, Overcoming Challenges, Overcoming Fear, Perseverance, Resilience | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 879

Posted on December 9, 2013 by mtchamblee
Greetings and Thanks
To each other as people
To the Earth mother of all, greetings and thanks
To all the waters, waterfalls, and rain, rivers and oceans, greetings and thanks
To all the fish life, greetings and thanks
The grains and greens, beans and berries as one we send thanks to food plants
Medicine herbs of the world and their keepers, greetings and thanks
The trees, for shelter and shade, fruit and beauty, greetings and thanks
To all birds, large and small, joyful greetings and thanks
And from the four directions, the four winds, thank you for purifying the air we breath and giving us strength, greetings
The thunderers, our grandfathers in the sky. We hear your voices. Greetings and thanks
And now the sun for the light of a new day and all the fires of life, greetings and thanks,
To our oldest grandmother the Moon, leader of women all over the world
And the stars for their mystery, beauty and guidance, greetings and thanks
To our teachers from all times, reminding us how to live in harmony, greetings and thanks.
And for all gifts of creation, for all the love around us, greetings and thanks.
And for that which is forgotten, we remember. We end our words.
Now our minds are one.
Prayer of daily thanksgiving inspired by the Onondaga Nation,
one of the Six Nations of the Haudenosaunee.
A poster with this prayer of thanksgiving hangs on the wall of my office, right over my computer where I can look at it each day. It is at once both a beautiful example of simple gratitude–gratitude for the most basic of blessings–and of the profound magnificence of the world around us. For everything around us we give thanks. Simple yet vitally important. The prayer above addresses every element that sustains our lives. Greetings and thanks.

At the end of the day, no matter how powerful, technologically advanced, high and mighty we humans think we are (especially those of us in “first world,” “developed,” industrialized nations), everything really still comes down to Mother Nature. We are subject to her magnificent power and are small and helpless in the face of it. One need only look at the awesome power of storms, floods, fire, and earthquakes and other natural disasters to remind us that in the scheme of things we are but a small part of the planet.

Yesterday’s snow-sleet-freezing rain combination that hit the greater DC, Maryland, Northern Virginia region left trees, power lines, and roads coated in ice. It knocked out power on campus (we sat in the dark at work for a few hours before it was restored) and wrought havoc all across the area. Tonight we are expecting three to six inches of snow and as of my writing this campus will open late for the second day in a row. In spite of the havoc it caused, it was beautiful to look at. So it’s not just about the awesome power of nature, but also it’s beauty, it’s complexities, it’s wonder.

Greetings and thanks for grandmother earth, grandfather sky, for the connections between all peoples and all beings. I am grateful for the reminder of how awesome this place we call home really is. The horticulturist and educator Liberty Hyde Bailey said, “It is a marvelous planet on which we ride. It is a great privilege to live thereon, to partake in the journey, and to experience its goodness.” And so it is, and I am grateful.

Posted in Gratitude, Nature, Simple Blessings/Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 878

Posted on December 8, 2013 by mtchamblee

Another Sunday evening. It has been a nasty day, weather-wise. First snow, then sleet, then freezing rain, and now just plain old rain. All of this has happened in the span of about 12 hours. For the most part I hunkered down, staying inside except when I had to dress Honor up in her new jacket and boots to go out in the mess. (You can laugh if you want to, but last year my little California girl nearly sat down in the snow her feet were so cold, and I ended up carrying her into the house. This was all about function, not fashion–though the little brown and black suede booties looked very nice with her dark pink, hooded jacket.) I also went out in the morning and bought a bit of gas to ensure that my car starts in the morning. It is interesting how all the various tricks of winter living have come back to me as I go into my second winter away from California.

I find myself again at a loss for words and wanting to head into simple gratitude again this evening mostly because on days like this the things I am grateful for are less profound and complex and are much more basic.

  • I am so aware on days like this that there are people all over the area where I live who have no place to call home and precious few places they can go to escape the nasty elements. I am among those who have a warm, safe roof over my head and enough disposable income that I can care for my four-legged companion, buying her boots and a jacket. And while it is out of love and concern for my friend that I can clothe her, I am aware that there are many humans who need boots and a warm coat, not to mention a safe, warm place to get out of the storm. And so I once again offer prayers for the safety and security of all those who find themselves without it; until such time as I am in a position to offer more than prayer I will continue to do so.
  • I am grateful for my 13 year old nephew. I am likewise grateful for his 15 year old sister. I have great hope for the world when I look at, think about, and interact with them. My nephew (who is also my godson) is the youngest among my nieces and nephews. He seems to have inherited some of his mother’s gentle kindness and big heartedness. He and his sister also share a rather goofy sense of humor, which I find refreshing and, as I mentioned yesterday, highly entertaining.
  • I am grateful for Honor, my four-legged companion. There are moments when I am downright lonely and I am so grateful that I have my friend living with me. I try not to think about her getting older and the awareness that a dog’s time on this earth is all too brief. Honor came to us when we were grieving the loss of our previous canine companion; she came to provide comfort to my daughter who at the time of his death was inconsolable. But after Michal went off to college and Jared and I were forced to move out on our own, Honor became my primary company and has been so in the last year since I left California. At times I suffer pangs of guilt about how much time she spends by herself while I am at work. But she never makes me feel bad, greeting me at the door enthusiastically each day when I get home from work. I hope she knows how much I love her, even when I am stuffing her four paws into the ridiculous booties and snapping her into a garment that must feel more like a straightjacket than something to keep her warm. She endures everything with longsuffering humor and grace.

I sit here in the relative quiet of my bedroom, the occasional pinging of the freezing rain hits my window. There were things I had on my to-do-list that I won’t get done this evening. Some of them were transferred from last weekend’s to-do-list. Still, I find that I cannot allow myself to get too bent out of shape at anything I did not accomplish. On balance, this has been a good day. To lament what I didn’t get done would be to discount what I did. I’ve done enough of that kind of lamentation to know that it is not helpful. It reminds me of the line from the Night Time Prayer from the New Zealand Prayerbook that I post here from time to time, “What’s been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done. Let it be.” And so I shall let it be and do so with a grateful heart. In his book “A Path with Heart,” Buddhist teacher and writer Jack Kornfield reminds us that at the end of our lives the questions we ask ourselves are very simple, “Did I love well? Did I live fully? Did I learn to let go?” I find that these aren’t bad questions to ask oneself at the end of the day. Just for this day, how close did I come to accomplishing those three things? For me, for tonight, I am satisfied with what I managed to do in response to those three questions. And for that, I am grateful.

All Dressed Up and Ready for the Weather

Posted in Family, Four-legged Companion, Gratitude, Simple Blessings/Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 877

Posted on December 7, 2013 by mtchamblee

A little while ago I told my sister Ruth that I couldn’t think of anything that I was grateful for. What I more correctly should have said was that I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about being grateful for. Without expending a great deal of energy I can say that I am grateful for spending time with Ruth today. I am always grateful for this and exceedingly grateful to be living close enough to her and my other two sisters to make such connections regular occurrences. So of course I am grateful for family as usual.

I am sitting in my sister’s kitchen where she is cooking dinner. I have been a very regular beneficiary of dinner with my sister and her family ever since I moved here a year ago. There’s something wonderfully normal about being over here: the preparing of the meal, joining hands to say our family grace (that we said when we were children), and the always entertaining banter between my sister’s family. Ruth’s children are ten years younger than mine–there are ten years between my oldest and hers and between my younger and hers. So it occurs to me that coming over causes me to reminisce about what it was like as I was raising my two kids. It provides a sense of family for me that I haven’t experienced much in the last few years. And for that I am grateful.

Over the past few days I’ve spoken to my sister on the phone and have found as always a willing and empathic listener, who offers advice, encouragement, and the occasional gentle reprimand when in the heat of my anger or irritation about something she needs to offer me a different perspective on what I am railing about. There are few people in my life who hold the place that she holds, so when I write about being grateful for family, she is at the top of the list. I was explaining to her today that if one were to survey everyone in my family to ask which of us was universally loved by everyone, Ruth would likely be at the top of everyone’s list, followed closely by my brother Coco (not his real name.) There is a particular quality to each of them that puts them at the top, though each of them denies being special in any way.

I am grateful for the simple but wonderful blessing of family and having close relationships with my siblings. While we have differing degrees of connections with one another, we are nonetheless connected. I am aware of people who have not spoken to their siblings in years and don’t know where they are living. While I can scarcely imagine not being in at least semi-regular contact with my siblings, many people live this way. I can’t help but believe that if everyone had a single connection with another human being that is as strong and comforting as my relationships are with some of my siblings, the world would be a far happier place.

Posted in Family, Gratitude, Simple Blessings/Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 876

Posted on December 7, 2013 by mtchamblee

I’m grateful to be at the end of another day, another week. This has been one more long, exhausting, week. At the point at which I first started dictating tonight’s blog I’d been stuck in traffic for an hour and 45 minutes before I finally got home. Sometimes I forget how much I enjoy and appreciate the work that I do because that pleasure is often overshadowed by the overwhelmingly irritating demands of my daily commute. I can safely say that I literally hate traffic, and all the goodwill and positivity that I feel and build up over the course of the day is severely challenged and diminished by the nasty commute home, particularly on a dark, rainy evening like this. I have to force myself at times like these to focus on gratitude, and the idea that I am grateful to have traveled home safely through and among the thousands of cars creeping along the Beltway over the rain-slicked roads.

I am grateful to be at the end of the work week. It was a mixed bag of the good, the bad, and the ugly; in other words, it was a relatively normal week. I continue to be grateful that I work with such a good group of people that it makes some of the madness less troublesome. It makes the difficult work that we do a little bit easier, knowing that I have comrades who share similar concerns, passions, and interest in social justice as I do. The truth is that there a lot of people who don’t see the importance of the work that we do, that the quest for racial equality, social justice, equitable treatment for people with many varied, diverse identities matters. They fail to see how it is in their best interest that everyone succeeds and enjoys the basic blessings that so many of us take for granted (and about which I frequently blog.) There are days when I get so frustrated at people’s basic incivility to one another,the extent to which they operate in their own self-interest without regard for the well being of others makes me incredibly angry. I get discouraged and I wonder if we will ever get to a place where humans will truly love one another and learn to live together in harmony. I know, it sounds corny doesn’t it? But then I’ve never pretended to be anything but a somewhat hopeless dreamer who believes that it is actually possible that we can achieve such a thing. If I didn’t believe it I wouldn’t do the work I do. Heck, if I didn’t believe it I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. Still, when I hit those places of discouragement, it is a blessing to have colleagues and friends and family around me who can pick up and carry on the work and I can rest for a little while.

Ursula Burns, the CEO of Xerox said, “The more we do, the more we see the potential of what is possible. We are not discouraged by the enormity of what lies ahead; we are motivated by it.” I confess there are times when I am in fact quite discouraged by the enormity of what lies ahead, but I am grateful to be surrounded by people who give me hope.

Yep, I’m grateful for the weekend. Come Monday morning, I’ll get up, get myself together, get back on the Beltway and head into another week of working for the wellbeing not only for the people that I normally serve, but basically for everyone. For the opportunity to do that on a regular basis, I am deeply grateful.

Posted in Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 875

Posted on December 5, 2013 by mtchamblee

As I was headed out of my office this evening, one of my coworkers told me that Nelson Mandela had died today, December 5, 2013. And as my breath caught in my chest and the lump formed in my throat, I shook my head in sadness and comment to my two colleagues,

“You know I believe that whenever a light has gone out of the world, another light comes on somewhere to take it’s place. I wonder where is the next light coming from.”
The colleague who had shared the news with me replied, “Yes, I believe that when someone dies, somewhere in the world a child is born to take his place.”
“I agree with that,” I nodded, “but we don’t have time to wait for a baby to be born and grow up to be the next Nelson Mandela. The next Nelson Mandela is alive and walking in the world right now.”
“Maybe it’s us,” my other coworker responded. “We’re always waiting for someone else to be it–maybe it’s us.”

She’s right, of course. I used to write about this in the context of Martin Luther King, Jr. We’re always waiting for someone else to be the one who will step up, step in, come save us. But instead of looking around for the next Nelson Mandela, what if it is me? People spend a lot of time looking for the next Nelson Mandela, or the next Martin Luther King Jr., the next Mother Teresa, the next Sojourner Truth, that next person who carries that spirit of activism and possesses that presence that seems to transcend the characteristics of regular human beings. These people are angels wrapped in flesh. Perhaps we really are the ones we’ve been waiting for. So perhaps the question is not who is the next Nelson Mandela. Perhaps the question is, who is the next Marquita Chamblee or rather, who is Marquita Chamblee meant to be and who’s to say that she’s not the next Nelson Mandela?

Tonight I am grateful for the example and the legacy of Nelson Mandela. He like other luminaries past and present seems so big to those of us who feel we were not meant to play on a big stage. How can we ever hope to fill his shoes? And yet, we are not called to fill his shoes, we are called to walk in our own and to walk the path that is laid out before us. I hardly think that as Mr. Mandela languished in prison for 27 years he was planning out how he was going to become an icon, an internationally renowned figure. As he was fighting against the repressive brutality of South African apartheid, I’m sure he wasn’t thinking about book deals and speaking tours. I wonder if he had any inkling of who he was going to become, of the prominence and stature he would rise to and the cost he would have to pay to get there.

We walk along in our seemingly mundane lives, doing the best we can, some of us working to make a difference in the world, others looking to make a difference in our world, even our small little corner of it. We do not necessarily reach for greatness. My guess is that for many people, greatness finds them when they are minding their own business, doing their own thing. Perhaps it will find me. In the meantime, I am going to boldly declare to myself and people around me: I am the next Nelson Mandela. I have no idea whether or not it is true, but that scarcely matters. I want to live my life with the belief that I have the power to positively influence the world around me. No matter how weary I get with the challenges I see in the world around me, I have to believe that I hold at least some of the answers. I am the one I’ve been waiting for and the world is waiting for me. (And you, by the way.)

I want to close with the piece by Marianne Williamson, because it speaks to the sense that some of us have that we are not meant to be big, that we have to play small so as to make others comfortable with us or because we’re somehow afraid of the true power, the true potential embedded in each of us. And while I don’t know what it actually looks like to truly “walk in my power” the only way to do it is to start. And so I shall, by the grace of the Creator and with a heart filled with gratitude.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love.

Posted in Gratitude, Life Purpose, Overcoming Fear, Serving Others | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 874

Posted on December 4, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight’s Lesson in Gratitude is being offered by my son, Jared Emmanuel. I am grateful to him for sharing this reflection in his unique style and voice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank god for you, little computer clock. Eleven thirty at night meant it was time to clock out and go home. I knew my roommate and his girlfriend had prepared a great thanksgiving meal. I couldn’t wait to go get it. I changed into my finest Thanksgiving day outfit, said happy Thanksgiving to my coworkers, and headed for the valet garage, where my car wasn’t supposed to be. Key in the ignition, plug in my phone, and….

Oh come on…

START! You’ve gotta be kidding me.

After a bipolar mix of a few obscenities, sweet talking, and commanding my rugged ’99 Blazer to start, I decided that it probably simply wasn’t going to happen. As fate would have it, the fuel pump had failed. No Thanksgiving night celebration with friends for me, it would seem. I decided I would leave my car parked at work overnight and catch a ride from my boss.

The next day I returned to my incapacitated vehicle, hoping someone at work had AAA roadside service. Fortunately, someone did. Greg the tow truck operator whacked my gas tank a few times and instructed me to start my car. Well, if I’d have known that last night…

He informed me that if I turned my car off, it wouldn’t start again, and that I should drive it straight to the mechanic. Not half an hour later, I was pulling into Dan Chin’s auto service (which I’ll have to write my first Yelp review about- he was great) who told me that the fuel pump replacement would cost around $950 bucks. Naturally, I flipped out, and told him there’s no way I can afford that. He was able to shave some of the costs down. I texted my dad, and he confirmed- go for it. It’s not like I had much of a choice anyway.  Three days and $889 dollars later, my car, Querida, was returned to me running like normal. What a pain in the ass that is, right?

As I sit in my room, sipping hot cocoa, thawing out from my session on the ice, contemplating the use of the Oxford comma, and listening to my Mountain Man Pandora station (which you should totally listen to if you like folky music) I’m able to look back and see that the past several days have contained several embedded blessings in disguise. I’m also taken back to a year and a half ago, when I started this very same job.

I had moved to Pinole with my mother, and had just stormed out of my old job without a real plan. Although I soon after received the job I have now, I had no money at all. Not like, I had very little, I mean, I literally had absolutely nothing other than the spare coins buried throughout my messy bedroom. My morningly routine before heading into San Francisco for work was turning over tables in my bedroom looking for change that I could use to buy ramen noodle cups. It was either train fare or food for the day.

Had this happened back then, it would have been extremely life altering. My mother and I would be scrambling trying to figure out what to do, or just ditch the car. Fast forward to present day, and all of this is placed comfortably into perspective.

Spending $900 bucks to fix my car in these modern times is a pain in the ass. It’s an irritation, an annoyance, an inconvenience. Something I can complain about to my coworkers. It’s no longer a severe event, it’s not even that big of a deal, in retrospect. I no longer need to scrounge for loose change.

Before this happened, I was about to buy a guitar amplifier and a pair of $350 figure skates. Now I’ll have to wait a whole month to buy the amp instead (I’m still buying the skates). I realize now, that to be able to say that statement little over a year later is incredible… and it’s something to be thankful for.

This experience has opened my eyes to the world in a different way. I’m quite fortunate to be in the situations that I’m in now. I’m fortunate to have the things that I have, and I’m fortunate to have a substantial financial cushion, living in Everything-is-Outrageously-Expensive Land. I’m grateful for these things. I’m grateful tonight for my little champion ’99 Blazer Querida for reminding me that I’m fortunate.

So before I sign off, I’d like to remind you all that there are two sides to every story, even the ones we tell ourselves to make ourselves upset. There really is something wondrous and magnificent hidden within every first glance sorrow or trouble. Find the lesson in every challenging situation, and remember to be grateful for the lessons they teach you. So, friends, what are you grateful for this evening?

Posted in Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 873

Posted on December 3, 2013 by mtchamblee

Some days are simply too much–too overwhelming with too many meetings and not enough time to do more than throw down one set of files and papers and pick up another to rush off to the next meeting. I am challenged by days like this one because I am barely able to take a quick break, to light long enough for a nice, long exhale. Sitting here in my bed, laptop propped on my lap, I am hoping to “whip out” this blog real quick so I can get on to making some Powerpoint slides for a training presentation my team is doing. Somehow I took on responsibility for making the slides each week for our five-week program and folks seem to be getting the materials to me later and later each week. They have to be ready by Thursday morning. I am tempted to spin the wheel, but I am going to resist temptation. I am grateful this evening for simple things:

  • For the morning meditations I’ve been doing at before I start work each morning. I sit at my computer with my headphones on  and spend 20 minutes in uplifting and inspiring meditations from a 21-day series. I’ve partially participated in these meditations in the past, but never managed to get past the first few days before falling behind. And with these online meditations, if you get out of sync, the meditations are not available after five days. This time I was determined to make my way through all 21 days, and though I’ve gotten a little behind (day 21 was on Sunday and I am on day 19), it is close enough to very nearly be finished. The meditations, with centering theme and mantras each day, were exactly what I needed to hear right now, and I am grateful for the messages and food for thought that they have provided me up to this point. The old saying goes that, “the teacher will appear when the student is ready.” Well, this student was ready for this message at this time and am receiving it and walking in it on a daily basis.
  • I am grateful for being in the right place at the right time. I have my moments–and have had many over my lifetime–when I have wondered, “What am I doing? How did I get to this place and what am I doing here?” I have felt frustrated, stuck, and out of place with where I’ve wanted to be, not doing what I wanted to do. At this moment, just now, I know that I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. And while it doesn’t mean that I am 100% content with my life the way it is at the moment, I nevertheless feel like I am in the right place for my life right now. I have written before about my GPS metaphor: in life you’re cruising along headed in a particular direction on your road of life. Even if you take a “wrong” turn–taking a left when you should have taken a right, the Universal GPS recalculates and readjusts your route so that you’re still headed toward your destination. There are no wrong turns, but the occasional detour or times when we’ve turned in the opposite direction where we were supposed to go, it’ll take us a little longer to get where we’re going but in the end we arrive at our destination. I’ve taken quite a few detours on my life path, and yet in this moment, I know that I am where I am supposed to be for this time in my life.
  • I am grateful for the fact that I wake up each day with a fresh set of mercy and compassions–they are new every morning. There is an inexhaustible supply of love, mercy, and compassion: according to the book of Lamentations, God’s compassions do not fail. I have tested this and know it to be true. No matter how difficult or challenging a day might have been, when I wake up in the morning, I have new compassions, new mercies, and an opportunity to have a good day. Sometimes I wake up tired and a little cranky, but I almost always wake up knowing that I have a new set of downs and new opportunities to walk in my life purpose. This is a beautiful thing.

I still have work I did not yet accomplish. I have to decide how much energy I have to work on things yet this evening before I take my rest. I will at least start, but allow myself time to take my rest at a semi-reasonable hour. I am grateful for this day and all that transpired in it, whether it felt easy and fun or not. It was a good day; one in which I showed up as best I could for the meetings and activities in which I was involved. I gave of my time, energy, thoughts and ideas, expertise, etc. today. And at the end of the day, I did exactly what I was supposed to do. For that I am quietly and solidly grateful.

Posted in Gratitude, Life Purpose, Meditation, Simple Blessings/Gratitude, Work/Employment | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 872

Posted on December 2, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight it took me a long time to get to writing my blog. There is a sadness that has been slowly creeping up on me and tonight it’s gotten that much closer. I don’t know exactly what it is about, and I am feeling no particular need to chase after the knowledge. For now I’m willing to let it be there and be with it. I sat and listened to the last hour or so of my audiobook. I had plenty of other things I could have been doing, including some things I should have been doing and will potentially pay for not having done those things tomorrow. I have spent much of my life doing what I am supposed to do when I am supposed to do it, so again, I am not worrying about the brief lapse I am having at this moment. Besides, the evening is not yet over. I could still do the one primary thing that would be good to have done before tomorrow morning; but even that could wait until morning with little or no negative impact. So, we shall see.

In the audiobook I was listening to, one of the primary characters died. I was a bit stunned, as I often am when something like that happens and I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t talk back to my iPod as I sometimes do when something like that happens, uttering, “No….” in some weird fictional, fake disbelief. After all, this is a fictional character. Why do I care about this? I realize, without having to do much deep analysis, that I had come to like the character, to relate to her at some level even though I have very little in common with her. The sadness, I suppose is grief at the unexpected loss of someone that resonates somewhere inside of me with losses–unexpected or otherwise–that I have experienced in my real, nonfictional life.

I am grateful for these moments in books, poignant scenes in a film or play, haunting and moving pieces of music, all those things that elicit emotion and allow me to release pain I hadn’t known I was holding. In some ways it’s not important that I understand the source of the pain; if I need to know where it’s coming from, I’ve little doubt that sooner or later it will be revealed to me where it is coming from. I’m not running from it, I’m simply not seeking it out. It will arise, I will notice and attend to it, and if it chooses to whisper to me what is causing it, I will attend to that as well, as best I can. In the meantime, as tempting as it would be for me to poke and prod at it until it comes fully to the surface, I am going to let it come if it wants to. While my heart is sad and there are tears in the corners of my eyes, they have not yet decided to spill over; whatever is troubling me is choosing to remain slightly out of reach, and that’s okay.

Before I go to sleep this evening, I will offer lovingkindness to all my various categories of people: family and loved ones, acquaintances, coworkers, and people I don’t know well, “enemies” and people I have some struggle with, and ultimately for all beings everywhere. It might not dispel the sadness or cause me to shake off the grief, but I imagine that it will calm my troubled spirit somewhat so I can rest tonight. And of course I will offer gratitude, for the beauty that’s all around me, as well as the tender places where grief and sadness reside. There is treasure there as much as there is in the beautiful things, and a richness that adds depth to my life. I am grateful for the tender places as much as the smooth and easy ones. These are each as much a part of the tapestry of my life. And for them all I am grateful.

Posted in Gratitude | Leave a comment