Lessons in Gratitude Day 651

Posted on April 25, 2013 by mtchamblee

Mama said there’ll be days like this. I woke up a little bit cranky, I confess. My journal entry for this morning will attest to that. Still, I gradually pulled myself together and managed to function well through the day in spite of the rocky start I got off to. I ended the workday on a slightly bumpy note, though managed to have one good final conversation before I left the office to get on the road. Then there was the commute. I knew I was in trouble when the bad traffic started several miles ahead of where it usually did, and though for a while I was diverted from my audiobook (I am listening Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”) after a while my patience was sorely tested. When I finally rolled up to the house, an hour and 45 minutes had elapsed.

I emerged from my car cursing and muttering under my breath and found I had little of the humor with which I usually try to greet the dog as she happily greeted me. When I checked the mailbox I extracted from it an envelope from my daughter, and as I walked the dog around the yard I noticed a vase of flowers on the front porch.  My ill temper moderated somewhat as I retrieved the vase and brought it into the house, the fragrance of the bouquet filling the room. My humor slowly improving I sat down and ate my dinner about an hour later than usual, taking time to chat with one of my sisters who’d called with some good news. A bit later I phoned one of my brothers to thank him and his wife for sending me the flowers, a belated birthday gift.

Finally, at the close of this day which induced such crabbiness, I remembered that I hadn’t opened the envelope from my daughter. When I finally sat down to read the letter it contained I was taken by her loving eloquence as she expressed her appreciation of my “special gifts and talents, of the things I’d taught her, and of who I am as a person. Many parents hope to have a positive impact on the lives of their children, in this I’m no exception. It is so gratifying to see who they are and who they are becoming and know that somewhere along the line I did a few things well. You hope for this, but it’s really nice when your hopes are confirmed by the “children” themselves, and while each of them has told me a number of times in different ways about their relationship with me has shaped them, I don’t often get it in writing!

I am grateful for the connections I have with my family–siblings and offspring. They sustain me through days like today and make me giddy with joy on good days. I am glad for the ways too that I sustain and influence them; I have often focused so much on who they are to me and what they’ve done for me that I haven’t thought a great deal about how I contribute to their lives. While I might have a sense of it from time to time, my daughter’s letter pointed out clearly to me the influence I’ve had in her life. “You in essence are always with me–in the songs I play, the way I make it through, and in the ways I treat other people. I am an amazing human being because you are.” Powerful words to take in. May I continue to live up to them.

Birthday Bouquet

Posted in Children, Family, Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 650

Posted on April 24, 2013 by mtchamblee

Mystery solved. Sometimes one needs a little bit of intrigue in one’s life, a little mystery that needs solving. I was pleased that I was finally able to apply my amateur bird identification skills toward solving the mystery of the identity of the “Little Bird with the Big Voice.” As I wrote about on Day 643, I had stalked Little Bird ever since I first heard its sweet, loud song echoing in one of the courtyards at my workplace. After taking a poor picture of it with the camera of my smartphone, I started carrying my good camera with the hopes of catching a good shot of it, which I subsequently did. After that it was just a matter of time before I figured out what it was; and time was exactly what I did not have to give the identification the time it deserved.

Then a few days ago I went to allaboutbirds.org and began searching through pictures and listening to songs and calls. After a few false trails looking at warblers, something told me to move on to wrens and in a matter of moments I had sighted Little Bird. It is a Carolina wren, a beautiful, energetic little bird. I wrote to my sister, who confirmed that I had indeed identified the correct bird–her bird guy corroborated it for me. In life sometimes there are too many questions unanswered, too many unknowns, riddles, mysteries. It is quite satisfying, even with something as small as identifying a bird beginning with its song, to answer at least one question, solve one small mystery.

I am grateful for simple blessings tonight, like identifying little bird a few days ago. I like that I am still intrigued by the world around me and enough of a nature nerd to stop in the middle of what I am doing and snap pictures of an elusive little creature whose song has given me such pleasure in the mornings. Birdsongs have been part of my life since I was a child and learned to identify and imitate the cardinal’s song. I recognize the many varied songs and calls of the robin, a commonplace bird with uncommonly sweet songs. And I gain such pleasure from learning new songs and discovering new feathered friends. Last year it was the dark-eyed junco, this year it’s the Carolina wren. Who knows what’s next?

I watch the changing of the earth around me, the trees and plants continue springing to life as the seasons shift from winter to spring to summer. I am discovering flowering bushes  and a flowering tree in my back yard–when I arrived here back in October I had no idea what things would emerge in the spring. Green plants are emerging from bed in the front yard and are resolving themselves into two varieties of hostas and other plants may yet spring up from that spot. And from the hole in the tree in the front yard two young squirrels have begun to peek out from the nest that I watched an adult squirrel so carefully pad with fresh leaves back in February. Again I find I am grateful for having such a good camera and such rich entertainment all around me–simple blessings that bring such pleasure.

Siblings?

I am a self-proclaimed bird nerd and nature nut, and find that I like that about myself. There once was a time when I wouldn’t say aloud that I liked anything about myself–I didn’t want to sound conceited or stuck on myself. But I’ve come to realize that it’s not only alright to like or even love things about oneself, it’s important to do so. So I’ll keep exploring the wilds of my workplace and the wonders of my backyard until I find myself with more exotic locales to explore. And I’ll hope to find a few more mysteries along the way. It’s all good.


Posted in Birds and Animals, Gratitude, Nature, Simple Blessings/Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 649

Posted on April 23, 2013 by mtchamblee

I Am Born. Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. From David Copperfield, by Charles Dickens.

I am born. Or rather I was born 56 years ago today. I am grateful to be alive and to have celebrated another birthday. Of course I was aware when I woke this morning that it was my birthday. “Happy birthday to me!” I declared before I was even fully awake, throwing out my arms into the cold air in my bedroom as if preparing to embrace the day.

This morning as I wrote in my journal I found myself thinking and writing about my mother in relation to my birthday. I was born a year and a month after my mother’s mother had been tragically killed in an automobile-train collision. My grandmother was only 46 when she died and my mother was devastated. I used to say that I was a little angel that came along and helped my mother heal from her grief, but in retrospect I believe she was grieving while she carried me and long after I was born. Who wouldn’t still be grieving to have one’s mother suddenly snatched away in the prime of her life? In some ways I believe that I was touched by her grief, even before I came into the world, and was affected by it, perhaps not in visible, macro ways, but affected nonetheless. I am grateful for the awareness I have of that particular connection to her; it’s poignant and perhaps a bit bittersweet, but it is indelibly marked on my psyche.

Today has been a good day.  I had birthday texts, calls, ecards, print cards, and more Facebook messages than I’ve been able to read yet. I ended the day by having a nice dinner with two of my sisters and one brother-in-law. We ate and talked and laughed about all kinds of things. I am grateful for the way the day unfolded and happy to have been able to once again celebrate it with family. At the end of a good, long day, having conked out at my keyboard until midnight, I am going to sign off. I had hoped to write a few more profound birthday insights but simply haven’t the energy. Perhaps I’ll be more eloquent tomorrow. For now, I am simply grateful for this day and for this anniversary of my birth.

Posted in Family, Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 648

Posted on April 22, 2013 by mtchamblee

I’m getting closer every day, honest. I tell myself most evenings that I need to adjust my routine, change my schedule so that I’m doing important things–like writing this blog–earlier and doing less important things–like watching the news–later. Of course I watch the news while I eat dinner, and can’t type while I eat. This is why my schedule remains a work in progress. I have hope, however, that I can make some small shifts in what I’m doing so I can somehow manage to create time in the evenings to do things while I still have energy.

So far I have been somewhat less than successful at this endeavor: I get home from a commute of anywhere from 60 to 90 minutes, take the dog out for her walk, and then come back inside and contemplate dinner. By this time it is usually between 6:30 and 7:00 p.m. and I eat dinner, usually finishing around 7:30 or 8:00 p.m. By the time I get myself situated with my computer on my lap it is between 8:30 and 9:00 p.m. It takes up to an hour to write depending on how inspired, energetic, and creative I’m feeling. and by the time I finish it’s bedtime. I often don’t  have much energy left for reading or doing much of anything except turning out the light and going to sleep.

I am grateful to be here now. To be here right now, in this moment. Tonight I was looking back at past blogs spinning the wheel to see what popped up. None of the earlier blogs spoke to me tonight so I am coming back to myself and where I am today. Sometimes I feel on top of things, sometimes they feel like they’re on top of me. It all seems to be par tof the process of being here now, of living in the moment–this one right now. Each moment brings with it the possibility of something new, a sudden shift of perspective, a different way of thinking about something, an altered frame of reference. Something happens and everything is suddenly different.

Living in the moment has become such an overused expression, but it conveys an important message: tomorrow isn’t promised to me, so what is true in this moment and what would I like to be true? I continue to realize how relatively unimportant the things that I allow to bother me are in the scheme of things. When I consider the arc of my life, from whence it began until now and on its current trajectory how much weight do I give things that are so trivial as to almost be irrelevant? I am gradually learning to let go of many of the things I worry about so unnecessarily, that weigh me down with anxiety, angst, and fear. It’s not easy; I let them go, then suddenly find them in my hands again. So, I let them go again. Eventually I am getting the hang of this game and can let go faster and it takes me much longer to pick things back up again.

I have not reached the eighth level of enlightenment as I joke with my sister about, but I am moving steadily in the direction of not sweating the small stuff. I still react to some of the same silly things I used to: unreasonable demands and reactions by people around me, terrible traffic, taxes, etc. But my reaction is much less extreme and the duration of my ill temper is getting shorter.

I can almost guarantee this: nearly every time I sound like I am congratulating myself on some area that I’ve made progress on or some new concept that I’m learning, a situation arises to challenge my newfound enlightenment. Someone irritates me or something happens that pushes all my buttons and I tumble back down into some deep, dark hole (with a mud puddle at the bottom.) I might sit there, cold and wet, feeling sad and sorry for myself. But after a time, my eyes adjust to the dark and I start to climb back out. And depending on how quickly I recover my sense of calm (and humor) I sometimes fly out. Usually it’s somewhere between crawling and clawing my way out and flying–a slow steady upward climb and I’m back at ground level.

I’m letting things go as best I can as fast as I can, and I’m doing my best to live in the moment. I am not entirely sure where I’m going to end up and what I’m going to be doing, and that’s alright. I’ll figure it out as I go along. How about you? What do you need to let go of?

Posted in Gratitude, Living in the Moment | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 647

Posted on April 21, 2013 by mtchamblee

It has been a long, long weekend after a long, long week. I was out yesterday for about six hours at work and today I was out for just as long; and though today’s outing was mostly pleasure, it still made for another five or six hours out of the house. At least part of it included about 90 minutes commuting around the greater DC metro area. I am tired, but it is a good sort of tired. I am grateful to have a few hundred days worth of good blogs written that I can draw upon on those evenings when I am too tired to write any coherent original material. Tonight I spun the wheel of random numbers twice. The first blog was okay, but the one I ultimately selected spoke to me and I found myself appreciating the words and the message of it: You are not alone. (LIG 113, October 20, 2011)

You are not in this alone. Whatever your this is, I can tell you from my recent lived experience that whatever you’re going through know that you’re not in it by yourself. Somehow I felt compelled to start with this. I’m not trying to be all deep and mystical, religious, spiritual or whatever; it’s just what I believe to be true. During the times in my life when I felt most alone, when I asked aloud to God (or anyone else “up there”who might have been listening) for help, help came that totally shifted me out of where I was. Often it was not in the form of a person–words in a book, a song with just the lyrics I needed to hear, or yes a kind word or act from a friend or even a stranger. When I paid attention and looked for it, it was there. And that is an important part of the process: to pay attention and look for whatever chooses to show up. Sometimes the “help” is obvious–you reach out to someone and they reach back offering support and assistance. Other times something it could be something more obscure. I might be looking for something to come one way and if I’m not paying attention, I’ll totally miss something coming from a totally different direction or in a different form than I’m expecting.

I am learning that I am not alone. First of all, I have myself–the spark of life, of divinity, of Spirit that dwells inside of me is sometimes all I need to tap into to remind me that I am part of something bigger than myself. Sometimes when grief or sadness or depression or anger has obscured that spark, I might reach out to another living being for assistance and support or for comfort. A friend recently reminded me that when Jared is away from home, I’m not alone–I have a four-legged canine friend who is more than happy to entertain, distract, or comfort me. Many times throughout my life when I’ve been lonely I’ve relied on the unconditional love and acceptance from my dog to lift me out of sadness.

I never used to be a great one for asking for help; I always figured that whatever the issue was I could tough it out, figure it out by myself, take care of it for myself, etc. I’m pretty much over that. I have gotten much better about reaching out to others, about asking questions when I’m not sure about something, about asking for what I need. I have learned that when I’m feeling sad or down I need to connect with other people. It doesn’t necessarily mean calling someone up and crying about what’s happening in my life. It could mean going out and being among people, anything that gets me out of isolation (holed up in my house) and into the land of the living. I am grateful that I’ve been able to overcome my shy personality enough to join the meditation group and go to occasional weekend workshops, to work at the food pantry, to participate in the cleanse class. Coming out of myself wasn’t easy to do at first, but the more I can nudge myself out of my comfort zone, the more comfortable I become reaching out and interacting with people. And the more comfortable I become with that the more I recognize that I am not in this alone.

I am reaching out through this blog each day. I write for me and I write for you. We are connected. You are not alone and neither am I.

I am grateful to be connected to people all around me who will hold onto me and not let me fall; who will reach out to me and let me know I am not alone. And for someone who lives by herself, that is a very comforting thought. We might not always know who is “out there” for us, but when we truly reach out, even if it’s only in prayer, an answer finds its way to us. That has been my experience and I am grateful for it. May it always be so.

Posted in Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 646

Posted on April 20, 2013 by mtchamblee

Today has been a good, long day and as is often the case with good, long days, I am tired. My weekend was somewhat shortened by being at a work event this afternoon, but it was a good one. I got to see my colleagues and coworkers in action and was impressed all over again and grateful to be working with such a good group of people. I don’t think they realize as individuals or as a collective just how valuable they are and the gifts they bring to our work and to the community at large. I am grateful for what I am learning and who I am becoming as I work with them. And for that I’m grateful.

In my relative exhaustion I have decided to offer some thoughts previously shared in March 2012, which interestingly also began with the words, “Today has been a good, long day.” As I re-read this particular post (Day 237) I was struck by how much of it still resonates with me a year later.

The other day I was watching Wayne Dyer doing a special on PBS. Wayne Dyer is a fairly well known spiritual teacher and writer. He was talking about the power in the words, “I Am,” and how important our language is in the way we refer to ourselves (like, “I am sad,” “I am angry” “I am fat,” etc.) I think about some of the messages I’ve sent myself recently from the realm of  “I am”and some of them are not very good. So I decided this morning that I was going to write down some positive “I Ams” on a yellow sticky and put it up where I can see it. Because the truth is, I AM a lot of good things. So are you.

The trouble is that we take so little time acknowledging all the wonderful things we are and either ignore them or, worse yet, we dwell on all the icky I Ams. In a matter of one minute or less, I had written a list of about 12 things. And that was without really trying. When I look at the phrases they are not things that are difficult to believe or a stretch to imagine (like I didn’t say, “I am glamorous” for example.) But for the most part, they are things that are true and that I can actually believe about myself (things like “I am strong,” “I am resilient,” “I am wise.”) And just to stretch myself out there a little bit I did include, “I am beautiful,” which hasn’t always been the easiest thing for me to believe about myself,particularly depending on how one defines beauty. And I didn’t just stick with adjectives, I also wrote I AM statements in noun form, claiming some of what I see myself being. “I am a writer,” “I am a teacher,” “I am a mother,” etc. I plan to look at my I Am list and to add to it regularly and I invite you to do the same. God knows we know how to tell ourselves the bad stuff; and even if we have a pretty health dose of self esteem,the world around us, society-at-large sometimes seems wired to tell us that’s wrong with us and how we don’t measure up to some standard.

Now I’m not encouraging self-centered,narcissistic, navel gazing. In fact, as I am learning in my studying some Buddhist teaching, you can also extend this I Am practice to people around you. Tell a coworker, “You are wise” or a good friend “You are kind” or your child “you are beautiful” or whatever. You get the point. I will add “I am grateful”to the list.

It is helpful to think about the “I am” in the midst of thinking about gratitude. So much of what we believe about ourselves is about what we do, not who we fundamentally are at our core. We sometimes derive our sense of self and our self esteem from what we do for a living and how well we’re seen as doing it. What we do is not who we are; though they might be related they are nonetheless distinct. And so I am grateful for who I am and find that at times I really like who I am and who I am becoming as I continue to grow in wisdom and experience.

Today has been a good day, and for that alone I am grateful. And as Scarlett Ohara says, “Tomorrow is another day.” And so it is. Full of possibility and promise and I am grateful.

Posted in Gratitude, Self Esteem | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 645

Posted on April 19, 2013 by mtchamblee

I’m sitting in my room listening to a heavy rain falling outside and am grateful to be safe, dry, and warm inside. I think about folks who are neither safe nor warm this evening and I offer prayers for them. This has felt like a really long week, though of course it contained the same 168 hours that every other week does. Still, it feels like it has at least been a great deal longer. I have one more work-related event tomorrow before my weekend truly begins and then the workweek starts up again on Monday.

This has been a long, dramatic week. The events in Boston and the surrounding area have dominated the news in such a way that little else has been reported on, though surely other things are happening around the world, other conflicts, other drama, as well as good and peaceful happenings. But we have heard or seen little of that. I didn’t watch the news much yesterday or the day before. When I turned it on this evening as I was having dinner most of the major networks were broadcasting from the town near Boston where the bombing suspect was holed up. The news people all talking amongst themselves, all scrambling to be the first to see something, hear something, know something so they can tell all of us riveted to our televisions what has happened. I turned it off after a while, having found them a little grating on the nerves.

I am tired this evening and so will keep tonight’s post brief. Earlier today I received an email from a colleague in which she shared a poem that seemed to resonate with what a lot of people perhaps are feeling. I am grateful as always for poetry, songs, artwork, dance, and so many artistic ways in which we grapple with, make sense of, and express our feelings about the world around us. We can use the arts to give voice to our confusion, pain, joy, fear, love, compassion and the myriad states of mind and heart that reflect the human condition. As a songwriter I’ve often used the music as a vehicle for expressing emotions I could not otherwise speak. It has offered healing and release over all these years and is a gift that I treasure. At a time when there is so much drama and trauma in the world I pray for release and healing and peace. May all being be free from suffering and the root of suffering. So be it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

For Our World

We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment.
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.
Silent for a moment.
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
That grow in our hearts.
We need to notice.
Just notice.
Notice for a moment.
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice.
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.
Be for a moment.
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting,
Like children and lambs,
Never judging or vengeful
Like the judging and vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together,
Before there is no earth, no life,
No chance for peace.

by Mattie Stepanek, written after September 11, 2001

Posted in Gratitude | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 644

Posted on April 18, 2013 by mtchamblee

One of the things I’m truly grateful for in writing this blog is that it provides me with a snapshot of where I was at a particular time. I started writing this blog at a very difficult time in my life and it has seen me slowly coming back into equilibrium and moving into new places. The challenges of those months became crucibles in which I’ve been fired, impurities beginning to burn out and the pure gold is beginning to shine through. Tonight I spun the wheel and was pleased at the selection because it offers me an opportunity to gauge from when I’ve come in these 644 days of writing. So I am going to share in its entirety Day 7 of Lessons in Gratitude:

“I am grateful today for perseverance. I looked it up in the dictionary just now and perseverance is defined as “steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success.”I can look back over times in my life when I have persevered through some pretty significant difficulties and made it through to the other side. I love the word steadfastness–you stay strong and move forward even if the outcome of what you’re doing is in doubt,or at the very least success is delayed.

And while I’m on “per”words,I’ll add the word persistence,which is defined as “firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition.”They’re connected,these two concepts. I watched my son struggling to learn a difficult piece of music. Over and over he played it,watching a video of the artist playing it,then imitating his fingerings and cadence. His persistence has thus far gotten him halfway through what he says is an “impossible”song. I’ve watched him do this many times,because his music is important to him. His persistence is admirable,and definitely firm and obstinate! I’ve little doubt he’ll master the piece in no time,even though he is largely learning it by ear and imitation.

I need to continue to persevere and persist during this period of drought in my life. I’ve known drought before and I likewise know the blessed relief when the heavens open and the rain begins falling again. That knowledge is in part what allows me to get up each morning and face the new day with a measure of hope and optimism. I a grateful for a legacy of perseverance not just in my own life,but in the lives of others in my family and others around me.

I am glad to have been able to write about gratitude these past seven days. I have no idea how long I’ll persist in writing these blogs. I do know that the exercise of focusing on and writing about what I am grateful for continues to be helpful to me. I hope those of you who read these periodically also find something in them to get you thinking about what you’re grateful for. There’s always something if I am willing to look for it.”

I am grateful for the progress I’ve made in my journey thus far. It has not been easy and there are still times when I am incredibly tired and want nothing more than to sit down right in the middle of what I’m doing and take a long rest. For now I cannot take that rest, but am looking forward to the day when I can at least slow and enjoy it all a little bit more. Til then I’ll be grateful for those moments of respite that come in the midst of the frenzy. I am committed to working toward better overall health and wellbeing and I set the intention that I’m going to take affirmative steps in that direction. I look forward to reaping the benefits of exercising self care, as soon as I learn how to do it!

Posted in Gratitude, Perseverance | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 643

Posted on April 17, 2013 by mtchamblee

Tonight I am grateful for something really simple. I think some of the best things are simple. I am grateful for having received a really good camera for Christmas a couple of years ago because with it I have captured some of the best pictures I’ve ever taken. The focus (no pun intended) of my most recent was to get a really good photo of the little bird with the big voice that I wrote about last week (Day 635). I took a photo of it with my smart phone but knew that if I really wanted to get a good picture of it so that I could later identify it I needed to take it with my good camera. So I’ve been carrying it around with me for the past week–back and forth to work–with the hopes that I’d get another shot at it, so to speak.

This morning as I was walking in from the parking lot toward my office building I thought I heard it singing, but couldn’t see where it was. Besides, I didn’t have time to stop and I was carrying my backpack and a travel mug of coffee, all of which I’d have to set down to get out my camera and take a picture. So I walked on to my office sending mental messages to the bird inviting it back over to my office. It didn’t show up. But, as I was walking back to the parking lot this evening as I prepared to head home, I heard the familiar, clear, and distinct song of the northern cardinal followed almost immediately afterward by the now becoming familiar song of the as of this moment still unidentified little bird. I walked slowly, gazing into the small stand of trees. The cardinal kept singing but for a moment little bird had stopped answering. Then the call came again and I spied it.

Unlike the cardinal which the male of the species is colored brilliant red and is hard to miss, little bird is a fairly unremarkable soft brown color and sitting in the trees is quite easy to miss. But I found it, and setting my backpack down on the grass dug out my camera and zoomed in on my feathered friend. Not only did I get a few fabulous photos of it, I also recorded it singing. Of course as soon as I started videotaping it, it stopped singing, though I got one clear call from it. Meanwhile, the cardinal was singing its heart out in the back ground. Once I’ve figured out how to upload the video (I am temporarily challenged by size restrictions and the file is too large in its current form) I will do so. In the meantime I have included the photo below. You’ll have to imagine the beautiful birdsong emanating from the sweet little bird its mouth opened and belting out the chorus.

Little Bird Singing

Meanwhile there’s the joy of discovery as I zero in on the identity of little bird. Now that I have a clear picture of its markings it’s just a matter of time. My sister, who has a colleague who’s a bird specialist, has already found out what it is (and seemed mildly smug as she said, “So, do you want me to tell you what it is?”) I told her no, though it would be a lot easier to know and go look it up rather than scour through pictures and listen to various birdsongs to see if I can discover it for myself. Still, I love a mystery and so will slog through allaboutbirds.org until I find it, or until I give up and call Ruth.

I love much about the natural world and am a self-described “bird nerd.” I have gotten much more so as I’ve gotten older. I like that about myself! I take delight in simple things, am grateful that they give me such pleasure. And I’m grateful to have the technology to help me “capture” the beauty that I see around me. It’s a wonderful thing.

Posted in Birds and Animals, Gratitude, Nature | Leave a comment

Lessons in Gratitude Day 642

Posted on April 16, 2013 by mtchamblee

Lordy, I am tired. It has been a longish kind of day. When I wasn’t in a meeting I was on the phone. And even though my phone calls were quite enjoyable (I talked to my son for a VERY long time), I find that my mind wants quiet. I am shortly going to give it just that.

I am grateful tonight. Just plain grateful. Sometimes it takes me a while to process all that’s happening around me. And it feels like a lot is happening, but it’s just below the surface, kind of lost in the bustle of every day life. There’s a feeling of being on the verge of something, that a new thing is about to break forth. I don’t know what it is or where it’s coming from, but I can feel it coming nonetheless. It’s like the “ahhhhhh” just before the “choo” of a sneeze: the building up of energy, the anticipation of something about to happen before the  big burst release of energy. That’s how I am feeling. It is an oddly comforting sensation and yet it is incredibly hard to describe.

I have learned to be patient with myself during these times and to savor the unknown. I’m not in any particular hurry to know what’s happening. The feeling of it is positive, so I’m not approaching this with some sense of dread. So I can relax and wait. I don’t mean to be particularly cryptic: one could wonder why I would even open this particular line of thought as it doesn’t come to a tidy conclusion as my blogs often (well, sometimes) do. It is where my mind is at the moment–a little tired, somewhat distracted, and aware that something cool is on the horizon just out of my line of sight.

I am going to sign off with a few simple gratitudes and offer apologies for my scatterbrainedness this evening. If this is your first time reading Lessons in Gratitude, you might think I’m a bit wacky, and I suppose I am. I hope you’ll keep reading or, even better, spin the wheel of the random number generator (I usually set it between 1 and 300) and pick the day that correspondes to number. You can read a few passages that way and see if you still think I’m a totally wacky scatterbrain. Regular readers know that periodically I hit writers block or exhaustion or other malady and struggle to express myself, but they will also tell you that sometimes I am insightful and brilliant (well, perhaps not brilliant…) The vast majority of the time–over 95 percent of the time–I am truly grateful.

Tonight I am grateful for very simple, basic things. I appreciate the taste and comfort of my morning coffee that I drink sitting up in my bed with my electric throw thrown across my shoulders warming me as I write my morning journal. I am grateful to be nested in my warm, safe, comfortable little house and for the freedom that comes from having no one to please or take care of except yourself and my four-legged friend. It can be lonely at times but also quite liberating. I am grateful for the food that’s in my cupboard and refrigerator, particularly given those few times in my life when I had very little food anywhere and no means by which to go get any. I’m grateful for living close to family, to be able to spend time with them, break bread with them, connecting with them on a wide variety of matters. I am grateful for a good job and excellent colleagues to work with; I’m proud to be associated with them.

It doesn’t matter how tired or distracted I am, I can always find things I am grateful to have as part of my life. Always isn’t a word I use very often (it’s right up there with “never”), but I am confident that I can always find something to be grateful for. That is a beautiful thing.

Posted in Gratitude | Leave a comment